Ladies, do you adore a man who appears to be intimidating and mean but is really a kind-hearted man deep-down inside?

I used to get into a lot of fights in my early school years but had my act up in high school. I'm the type of guy who looks menacing and mean yet he has another side that a person, especially a woman may be shocked of. While I do have a mean side, I HATE to admit but I actually am a soft-hearted man who a huge cuddle bear (I'd love to snuggle with a woman and just lay on a soft comfty bed or furniture with her) that can show his true emotions when it comes to a woman. It usually take a very beautiful looking, kind-hearted woman who's a sweetheart to get me out of my typical side and more into my very nice and emotional guy side

Updates:
I almost forgot to mention, I'm also a soft-spoken, shy guy.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • no. i am not attracted to people who don't respect others. i don't want a guy who is only nice to me. that does not speak well of his character and makes it seem fake like he's just trying to get something.

    sure its great to bring out the best in someone b-c they care for you. but its not great if their best is being nice to me, and their regular is being an asshole to everyone else.

    respect dignity compasssion are all very important traits to me.. im really beyond sick of this idea that being cool means being a jerk and getting a girl requires a bit of jerk a bit of nice.. im a very straight forward person i dont like games and i dont like bullshit.

    if a guy has the confidence to be kind to people dpes not need to hide behind being mean to feel secure then i find that attractive.

    i fond shy guy very attractive. a mean guy not at all. this goes for friends too. i like genuine people not pretense.

    i think you feel the need to appear mean bc its the only way you can feel protected. you even say you hate to admit you're nice. why would you hate to admit that unless you see being mean as a plus. and as long s you see it as a plus you'll use it and won't really ever allow yourself to be a fully evolved h, n being. you're hiding atm. and that does not bode well for clear honest respectful communication. plus anytime there's a disagreement or you're not pleased you'll go back into bitch mode and NOTHING will ever get resolved.

    i have a feeing that what yo mean by kind hearted woman is one who never does wrong and always keeps you smiling. so you dont have to resort to your bitch mode. but thats not reality. no one is perfect and you you're an adult... can not rely on someone else to create the perfect environment for you to act like a human being. thats complete dependency. not healthy for either of you to rely on her to bring out your humanity... its the same as relying on someone to be assertive or you.

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    • mean has nothing to do with being strong. you can be assertive without being 'mean'. people are sally mean asa defense mechanism when they feel scared or threatened or intimidated themselves.

      .. im sorry you had a traumatic past, and its played havoc on your confidence and self esteem, giving you a kind of distorted sense of homeostasis. ... you should probably get therapy for that before trying to sustain a healthy relationship. or at least simultaneously.

    • Yeah I know what you mean. I don't necessarily try to look "mean and intimidating", I just happen to have a mean and intimidating look because of how I used to be bullied a lot in my late elementary and middle school years. I happen to appear "mean" because I don't trust a lot of people, who could possibly stab me in the back. I'm actually always a nice guy for most part if you treat me the way you like to be treated (that goes with every single individual person). Again, I hate to admit that I'm a cuddle bear with a soft-side because of how society often expects men not to be compassionate. Now, I just don't give a damn of what society thinks of me anymore and not let them dictate my personality.

What Girls Said 7

  • Adore is a word in my vocabulary typically used when speaking about children or animals. So no not adore. CHERISH, perhaps. I like guys that are able to take care of themselves and could hold is own if he ever got in a fight (I'd hope he'd never have to). Once I got to know you and realize that you aren't someone to be afraid of (as "mean" men do worry me as to whether they would hurt me or not physically) then I would melt. I'd be comfortable and the idea of a guy that would allow me to snuggle up on him (and would show his feelings-most of the guys I know don't at all) would make the happiest I've been in years. "Intimidating" guys are good for someone as vulnerable (tiny-shy-cute girl) as I am to have around. Esp. when I'm left walking somewhere in a dangerous place (big city)-perfect for comfort! But if you're the type to judge me or push me around too much-I'd leave with my ears pinned back. Otherwise I'd cherish a guy like you! :)

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    • I'm only "mean and scary" when necessary but for most parts, I try everyone I'd like to be treated. Again, cuddling is one of the things I love to do with a sweet lady and I honestly hate to admit it for some odd reason. Maybe it's because it makes me sound "unmanly"(or whatever stupid ficticious terms that are created by hollier-than-thou, egotistical men).

    • Anyways, if your wondering more about myself, I forgot to mention in my background that the reason why I used to get in a lot of fights in my late elementary years and all my middle school years is because how people used to pick on me and bully me for being different and I got fed up with it. Then my High School years completely changed my temper and aggression in a positive way and now I'm calm. I don't know if you've ever date or at least met a guy who can relate to me.

    • Sounds like a likeable individual to me. Cuddling is one of those things that I've never seen as "unmanly". It actually shows you're able to express softer feelings required to create a healthy relationship with a woman. That's a strength. You could be the next Mr. Universe but if you lack the ability to express intimate parts of yourself to women in a soft loving manner-then you'll fail at most any relationship you come across. Cuddling is exactly that-a soft loving way of showing you care. So if guys are saying it's "unmanly" tell them," good luck at finding a girl that will stay with you". Women NEED physical contact as reassurance. Look it up in a psychology book that breaks down a woman's "needs" and it'll be there. MANLY :)

  • Not really, seeing a lot of aggression makes me clam up. I don't like it, I'm extremely uncomfortable in such situations.

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    • Oh no no no. I'm not really aggressive, I just happen to appear "mean" and "intimidating" because of how I don't trust a lot of people after being bullied a lot in my elementary and middle school years, thus provoking me into fights. I'm still a very soft-hearted nice guy for most parts if you treat me how you like to be treated (and that goes for every single individual).

  • Yes I love guys like that. They are very easy for me to talk to. Someone would probably get annoyed. I understand the fighting and how that works because my cousins use to get into fights all the time and I was there to pull them out. For someone to open up to me and just me sounds extrally sweet.

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    • If your wondering more about myself, I forgot to mention in my background that the reason why I used to get in a lot of fights in my late elementary years and all my middle school years is because how people used to pick on me and bully me for being different and I got fed up with it. Then my High School years completely changed my temper and aggression in a positive way and now I'm calm. I'm still a very soft-hearted nice guy for most parts if you treat me how you like to be treated (and that goes for every single individual).

    • Awe well that's even better to me. Still reminds me of my family in general. I know how it feels to get picked on and there are ways to deal with it, and by the way you sound, you found your way ^^

      Answer still doesn't really change ^^"

  • I would prefer a gentle guy who appears gentle all around.

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  • Yes most women love that kind of guy. Woman want a guy who is able to protect them but be sweet, kind and loving to them.

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  • I prefer someone who is nice and kind and makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

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  • I think intimidating is cute. And a Little Mean I kinda like, just not a Jerk!

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