How I turn down a second date in the least awkward/hurtful way?

Normally I can handle it, but I'm having trouble with this one. I can tell he's already pretty invested in me, even though we just met, and that makes it harder. Also, I made the mistake of letting him surprise me with what we were doing, when I should have just suggested coffee or something simple like that. Because he planned this kind of extravagant date, dinner, movie, skating, walk in the park... and while I did have fun hanging out with him, I didn't feel any kind of romantic interest or chemistry. Especially not when we kissed.

And now it's also weighing on me that while I tried to pay for at least some of it, he wouldn't even let me (like seriously, I practically shoved my card into the cashier's hand and insisted but at his persistence the cashier put mine down and took his instead), and I feel like I owe him more because of that. I realize leading him on or being untrue to myself is also a really bad idea though.

He asked about seeing me the next day, and I said something about being busy with something or another, but we'll see, I'll let him know. He also texted me that he had an amazing time, and I texted back saying I had a great time too and wished him a good night.

I'm really not feeling a second date though, and I don't know how to tell him that. Dreading it, actually. Help please.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • yo don't owe him anything other than to treat him with respect and dignity.

    you can do that by just being honest. 'hey that first date was nice and I appreciate the effort you put into it and taking me out, but I didn't really feel that chemistry was there and I don't want to waste your time. I'm sorry.'

    then if he asks for specifics maybe just tell him about what you felt was lacking (chemistry, the money thing, etc).

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    • Thank you, I really liked the way you phrased that. Should I text him that, or call him?

    • i think either is fine. a phone call is more personal and intimate so it may be a nicer step. but since it was only one date I think you could text as well

What Guys Said 4

  • "Hey, (insert name here). I had a nice time on our date, thank you. But I need to honest with you. I think you are nice guy, but I am just not into you in a romantic way. I tried, but there was no spark when we kissed and I had a hard time finding any chemistry between us. Either it works or it doesn't. It isn't working for me, and I am sorry for that. See you around, bye!"

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  • Don't sugar it up, be straight-forward and tell him the way it is. He can take it. What we guys hate the most is when the girl takes pity on us for it. That will just make him feel worse.

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  • Wow, poor guy. Well you definitely don't want to lead him on any further. You have to tell him straight out that you just don't feel anything.

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  • Hi:) You're just not interested. But you appreciated his way of treating a woman.

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What Girls Said 0

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