Girls, have you dated a guy from a poorer background than you? how did it affect your relationship?

i would have said lower socioeconomic status, but i don't want to infer that someone is intrinsically LOWER because they have less $$/resources...

but say if you're middle class have you dated a working class guy? or if you're working class have you dated a really poor struggling guy? even if he wasn't currently poor, but he grew up that way while you grew up with more privileges? did it bring up any issues in your relationship?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Interesting question. I think it should only affect the girl if the guy isn't trying to better himself/ work at all. It's one thing if the dude makes less, but if he's doing nothing that's not on in my book. If he comes from a different class then there will probably need to be some updating of his image. Some couples are fine having one a bit rough round the edges, but I think they could try to be more in sync. I think one major factor is having a similar mindset. Some guys with little money have a chip on the shoulder and some with lots have an arrogance- the attitudes need to be kosher and in step. Apart from the things I mentioned I think the family would be the main obstacle, but I care little for their opinions. I'm not marrying them lol. I'd be interested in girls' opinions too =)

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What Guys Said 5

  • I find poorer girls of a certain type (not like ghetto hoodrat style) to be more humble and better for actual conversation, they see the world so much differently but so much more meaningfully than most rich/'high class' girls do.

    On the flipside, most girls I know that date down are very aggressive, straight up types (which I don't mind at all) but most women are not like that. All woman that I KNOW that date down have been latina and their kinda known for being feisty and pretty strong willed.

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  • VERY interesting question - especially in our times where we are supposedly "equal".
    I wonder how many women would date "down" ?

    I suspect not many... so much for "equality"

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    • Equality =\= communism

    • Actually communism would be perfect equality if you read the literature ( which i am sure none of you did ) but we are not debating that.
      We are debating if women - after bashing men to drop patriarchal values are willing to drop themselves "female privileges" and step up and marry down.

      And my guess is - seeing the internet backlash and anger of guys dealing with this - not many women are.

  • I would date a poorer girl,

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  • I wouldn't.

    May make me seem unPC, but then it's just how it is.

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  • Now that you ask, I believe a number of women I was involved with were distinctly more affluent than me. Or at least saw themselves as more ambitious and wanting more thanme.

    In hindsight, this probably affected their evaluation of me. While my folks come from middle class backgrounds themselves, we've had some economic bad luck in the past. This led to us falling down the economic ladder (growing up in debt, no money to pay for groceries, etc). In addition, I was always the high-thinking, simple-living kind of guy.

    Your question makes a lot of sense. I'm sure a number of these women were frightened away by my economic status and (lack of) ambitions. Probably they interpreted it as something that would affect their future lifestyle.

    Just like, as I'm shocked to find it happen with me too, a guy will be far more better disposed to a woman if she's pretty, younger or sexier! Attraction can indeed be skin-deep.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I grew up as a higher-middle class daddy's girl and my crush's family is definitely working class... we're not in a relationship, but I've noticed that the background thing bothers him more than it does me.

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