When does it hurt the least to be rejected in the dating game?

When people ask me out on dates I generally always accept (even if I'm not particularly attracted to the person) cause it's nice to get to know people and I like to give them credit for actually having the gall to ask me out (although if I'm not that attracted to them I usually warn them from the get go that I may not want to pursue a relationship with them). I always thought this way was fairer to the guy as I don't like to judge people on first impressions, and I very rarely like people I have only just met anyway, so this gives a chance for a connection to grow. However I'm always very conscientious that by doing this it could be leading them on which will only end up hurting their feelings later on down the track. So I'm just wondering if maybe I should stop accepting dates from just any nice guy who requests my company. It would probably hurt them less in the long run but it could make them feel bitter that I never even gave them a chance.

So I was just wondering, girls and guys, would you prefer to be turned down on the initial offer to date or would you rather be given a chance, or even a few chances, for a guy/girl to get to know you and feel out the possibility of a relationship before they decided on your fate? And if at the end of these chances would you be upset if your potential partner decided that although you were a nice person you just weren't what they're looking for, keeping in mind you were warned at the start it might not work out?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Accepting the date always, is a good way to bolster a guys confidence in his looks, since that is what you apparently are making the judgement on.

    But rejecting him after the date makes him doubt his personality.

    I would say that the timing doesn't matter so much as the method. The kindest way i ever rejected was simply this "You're a funny guy, a lot of fun. But I just didn't feel any spark between us."

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What Guys Said 4

  • I wish more girls were like this. I think it is a good thing and shows just how conscience you are about those around you. Good for you.

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  • I think one, two dates at the max isn't an issue at all. He could just as easily find you unattractive during that time.

    As long as you're honest with people, you will be fine.

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  • I'd rather be rejected when I first a girl out, then to take her out a few times only for her then to say 'I'm sorry but I'm just not interested in you", but you know what? My feelings shouldn't concern the girl, I am old enough at 25 to get over non-issues like this.

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  • There's really no harm in it. If you're at least honest I don't see anything wrong with it. Than again going into something with low expectations may not be the best.

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What Girls Said 2

  • The first or second date is more than enough. Honestly, dating like that, outside of people you don't know can be dangerous. So, be careful.

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  • Great question! I'm like you: I know what it feels like to be rejected, so I always give the guy a chance and go on one date with him.

    Rejection always hurts, but I think it also depends on your expereinces... for example, the first few times I approached guys/asked them out I was rejected, and it hurt a lot. But then some guys started saying yes. So now if a guy rejects me right away, it doesn't hurt as much.

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