This guy is always so down on himself, and it's turning me off?

I don't know what to say when he gets like that. Maybe it sounds bad, but I'm tried of being reassuring. I've told him he shouldn't be so down on himself, he's a great guy, but it doesn't seem to matter. I think it's a bad habit he's gotten into - not thinking he's good enough, and bringing it up and making little comments/jabs at himself. I don't like it. He doesn't seem to get that I don't think there's anything wrong with him and he needs to just relax and stop worrying about everything. I wouldn't have gone out with him if I didn't like him.

I'm starting not to now though, because of all this. Is there any way to get him to stop being so self-depreciating, or should I just break things off with him (which I'd feel bad about... but I can't keep doing this)?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • he learned masochistic behaviors from someone who was probably abusing him. friends or family. maybe just himself. emotions are highly addictive. sad feelings are also very addictive. no doubt he's an addict. he needs to consistently reverse his thoughts eventually feelings of sadness will disgust him and contentment will make him feel full.

    this could take a while..

    emotions are like a whirlpool. sucks you in deeper and deeper faster and faster becomes harder and harder to get out of the current.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Its the way he sees life. Something has obviously triggered it in his past. The way his mindset is will come down to something either major or insignificant that happened or a series of things. All you can do is be there for him, if you walk, the cycle will just continue. Be something solid in his life that he knows will never leave. by the way id also encourage you to tell him to maybe seek help to get out of that negative way of thinking

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  • Be self-deprecating yourself. Have a laugh at yourself every once in a while. Show him he's not the only one. Be relaxed and clam about. Eventually he'll notice. Though this isn't a quick solution (though what is?)

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  • Was he the one that asked u out?

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  • Using words like "Relax" won't help, but perhaps the opposite. He needs to talk to someone, if not you then someone else.

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