Why do girls look like they don't care when their boyfriends are being affectionate towards them?

Why do girls look like they don't care when their boyfriends are being affectionate towards them

I see couples on the street and I see the men being really affectionate to the girls and it look like the girls don't care and they don't look like they enjoy it at all and they never reciprocate the affection/show affection in return

Are they jaded and take their boyfriends for granted? Every single couple i see on the street is like this

Updates:
I see it way too often for it to be an unusual thing it is so common
Please answer

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it's a few things. 1) Could be that the guy just did something bad and he's trying to kiss ass. She's still mad.
    2) The girl might be dating down. He's not the guy she really wanted but he's the guy who committed to her.
    3) Guys tend to be more affectionate and treat their women better when she's more "cold" but still gives him sex. I've seen it happen all the time. A once complacent guy suddenly becomes a romantic poet when he feels his girl is pulling back or not as interested in him.

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What Girls Said 48

  • I think it works both ways... men and woman! At some point in time when it comes to a relationship one of them acts that way...
    Woman: when a woman acts like that it means so is not in love with him and or likes the affection... he does most of the work in the relationship because he loves her and wants to treat her like a queen!
    Man: when men do that it foes. same way for them men as woman but the only difference is that men have it in them to be players and or none affectionate. It BEING MANLY. when the time and persona is right they will reciprocate...

    Moral... if your significant other is acting this way "smh" wake up and realize u r the only one in the relationship!!!

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  • There's a funny comedian, Chris Rock and I think its in his show "bring on the pain"... But he talks about that! He goes, "Men have you ever noticed your woman just glaring at you at the dinner table and you know you haven't done anything...(crowd:yeah)... It's because you were not her first choice! They wanted someone else (yaddayadda or something like that.. :/

    It's funny but it can be true, i it seems like beautiful women settle down with who ever treats them the best not the most beautiful man... While men will settle with the most beautiful woman who they can tolerate and not necessarily who treats them the best it seems :p
    bleh.

    that's why movies like twilight and 50shades are popular, girl gets the hottest guy and the guy cares about them too -.- the dream...

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  • I really really don't like PDA, I don't know why. I love my boyfriend, I love being with him, he's very attractive so it's not like I'm ashamed to be dating him, but I don't like kissing and being all cuddly in public. If he tries to hold my hand, I'm very happy to! If he keeps trying to kiss and stuff I usually tell him to stop. It's not because I take him for granted, it's because I'd rather save it for later. When we're alone together I'm totally different.

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  • someone has to have some chill... or else theyd be fucking in the street

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  • I don't get it! I love it that my man is. Very affectionate and show it all the time. I definitely show my appreciation and Gove him affection back. I am extrramely affectionate.. all the time. I don't understAnd girls who don't like affection. The whole play hard to get and let the guy Chase you on their hands and knees is complete BS. If you like them, show it and stop acting stuck up.

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  • Maybe the girl sdoesnt like public display. Lol or maybe there in a fight. I don't know
    But I like holding hands out side and sitting close but I dont wanna make out outside sure we can kiss. I like affections it my way of showing how I feel rather were outside or inside. But more on the cuddling part then anything lol

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  • bc guys call girls clingy asa broad spectrum insult... when thy actually just dont like them, or are angry for some unrelated reason. . so it gives the impression if yo do anything at all even just enjoy affection you're given you're going to be accused of being clingy. and i guess for some women theyd rather live an icy life instead of just recognize if someone calls you clingy its them, not you. instead of getting insulted, and dump them.

    also most dating advice women get is to act coy and aloof making him beg for me. that translates into not letting him know how you feel. its all very rediculous. dont be in a relationship with someone who can not appreciate openly our affections.

    and figure out whats bothering you in a relationship and deal with that... dont call people clingy. its degrading and entirely unproductive.

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    • I don't think there is such a thing as clingy for me. The more interest a girl shows in her (i have to like her first though) the more interested I become in her. And I like affectionate girls I think it is really sweet and it makes a girl more attractive when she can actually express themselves

    • thats good and very healthy. too bad more people dont really want their relationships to be relationships lol ;)

  • Its called public display of affection. Not everyone is comfortable with that. Everyone isn't an exhibitionist.

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  • I sometimes catch myself doing this to my boyfriend but I realize that it is mostly because I am uncomfortable with PDA. I am trying to change that but it is hard for me. Giving him a touch here and there to show him that you appreciate it, or maybe just telling him that you like it is important. Don't want him to stop what he is doing because I really do like it.

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    • Do you show affection to him when you are alone with him and do you look like you care when you are alone with him

    • yeah when we are alone, it is all about him haha that is when I feel more comfortable to show that I care

  • I notice the same thing and sometimes wonder why the affection is not reciprocated. It may be the girl is just uncomfortable with public displays of affection and doesn't know how to respond. Some people prefer not to display their affection so openly in public. Also, as an outsider, you may just be reading them wrong because all couples act differently and show affection in particular ways. I'm not a huge fan of being overly affectionate in public, but I definitely reciprocate on some level, and whomever I'm dating knows it.

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  • I hate that shit. Pda, can't stand it. And especially when dudes get extra affectionate in public. Like people. need to show off their love. Confirm it for the world. Always comes across as fake shit. And it irritates me. Act like that at home first. Then I'll buy it in front of others.

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  • for me i have to say i an gulity of dissmissing public affection, not to be a bitch but more because of catholic background, growing up as teen boyfriends were off the cards let alone kissing pubicly, and tbh i feel uncomfortable when people kiss in front on me ie. on public transport. holding hands and light kisses are fine but i prefer to just cuddle as i dnt want to offend anybody or make them feel uncomfortable, affection is saved for the privacy of the bedroom hahahahaha can't get me off my love haha each to own tho

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  • I'm personally not comfortable with PDA. I just don't think it's appropriate and see it as rude to others. If we're alone, I'm super affectionate, but in public or in front of certain people it isn't okay for me. Also, it's something that guys in new relationships do a lot. I find all the constant cheek kisses and hugs and forehead kisses and blah blah blah overbearing, even if I absolutely adore the person. You guys are so much bigger than us, it makes us feel claustrophobic honestly, especially if we're doing something else (and women are big multitaskers, so that's probably the case). But we're the affectionate ones in private, we're just ladies in public (the good ones at least)!

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  • Some girls just aren't into PDA. I'm sure some of the girls love their boyfriends they just don't like to be lovey dovey in public. I don't really like it either I mean holding my hand or a quick peck is cool.. but making out or feeling up one another is just too much for me.

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  • I honestly think hand holding is unnecessary. I'm not a little kid you don't have to hold my hand. I don't understand why guys do that... we can just walk down the street together without touching thankyou!

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    • Egg freaking zactly.

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    • true true...

    • Usually it's the girl who reaches for the guy's hand first, so a lot of guys have learned to assume that girls like holding hands.

  • in public i don't feel comfortable so i try to make him stop.. i'm shy but its dosen't mean that i don't love him

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  • Because guys like women who dont reciprocate, so they feel like they are conquering or seducing the girl. its really stupid but a lot of the times guys dont appreciate it when women show affection towards them.

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    • I'm sorry but I don't follow that logic. We like showing a woman affection but don't want it being shown back to us? Why's that? That's not me, if I was dating a girl and I showed her affection and she never did anything back, I'd think she wasn't interested or I was annoying her and we would probably not last very long as a couple.

  • Reason why is that I dont like PDA. I have bad paranoia so i hate it when there are people looking at us or i think they are and silently judging our relationship. I often get these types of remarks from friends. They think we're on the verge of breaking up, but they just dont understand that im not as comfortable to display our love in public like them.

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    • Do you show that you care and enjoy his affection when you are alone. Are most girls like you and don't like PDA

    • Of course! When we're alone, I act differently than I would in public. We kiss, hold hands, and do other couple stuffs lol! He understands that I have bad paranoia, and I acknowledged the fact that he doesn't mind when people stares. To him, he just wants to let people know that we're happy with each other. So we compromised. We hold hands and would occasionally give pecks on the lips. And on some days (esp when it's cold), I would wrap my arms around his.

  • In my relationship I think it is the opposite but that is because I like PDA and my boyfriend doesn't. When we are at home he is very affectionate but out in public he won't do anything but hold my hand or hug me.

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  • I agree. I am shy thats all guy I like knows that. I do want to be loving. Working on it. Also guys are visual and more physically driven so they enjoy touching and being loving towards their partner. Men fall in love through touch and women with what they hear

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  • I loved to hold my bf hand when we are in a public places like malls or on the streets. But whenever i do that, he started to feel uncomfortable and shook my hand off. Most of the times he does this in public or when we are alone. Sometimes its him who loved to hold my hand in public. I really can't understand him but im so in love with him :D

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  • I think it's more that some girls just don't like PDA.
    My boyfriend is constantly cute and affectionate and lovey to me, and I haven't exactly been brought up being used to compliments, so I normally just shrug it off or joke around with it. But if I'm just feeling extra happy that day, I'll be doting on him nonstop. Like touching his face, holding his hand, kissing him, nibbling on his hand or arm, calling him cute and listing all the things I love about him.

    Girls are just weird beings, that's why I mostly talk to guys.

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  • Maybe she's trying to do something while her incredibly annoyingly clingy boyfriend paws her for affection.

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  • I love when a guy shows me affection! But sometimes I'm concentrating or trying to on something else

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  • The reason I look distant is I don't like being cuddly all the time. I would like to have some space when I want to and I will give some space when they want to.
    It isn't that I don't share their interest or love it is simply my need to have some space on my own.
    It could be because they are uncomfortable in public or shy.
    Lots of reasons. I just realised this is an accurate point.

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  • The girl could be uncomfortable with all the affection, but trust me, once you stop she'll want you to show it again.

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  • This is the only way he keeps affectionate to her, nce she shows him that she cares he will stop being affectionate, and I have tried it before, once my boyfriend sees that I really care he stops

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  • Whenever my boyfriend is affectionate towards me I always get all mushy and have to try not to cry, but thats because he isn't affectionate very much, he chooses when to and it makes it better. But I think what your seeing is girls not knowing that their boyfriends are being affectionate and I know that just sounds like some lame excuse to be a bitch but I know my friends bf shows affection in some pretty weird ways so maybe that's the whole shabang!

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  • They are probably just used to it if he does it a lot and/or dislike PDA. I personally like that and would show it (the affection.. i don't like a lot of PDA)

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  • My boyfriend and I are both affectionate. We hold hands, say I love you, etc. We're never overly affectionate, you know, to the point of omg get a room already. I like when my bf does cute things in public and vice versa.

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  • More from Girls
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What Guys Said 11

  • I see it too. Sometimes the guy is hanging onto the girl and she just doesn't give a shit and I wonder why she's even with him.

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  • A lot of girls might have no problem being intimate in the privacy of your bedroom but be really shy in public. That's normal and you shouldn't take her dislike of PDA as a negative reflection on you. Basically, they are embarrassed. It may also be cultural. Girls who were brought up in a conservative and/or religious community will not want to make out in public.

    If it really bothers you a lot you might suggest to her that when you walk down the street together she put her hand in the back pocket of your jeans. The way she can touch you and it also discreet. But if she doesn't want to do that it's no big deal. Don't make an issue out of it. Respect her boundaries and you will be rewarded in the end.

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  • It's just the way girls are, I could be wrong but sometimes it's just that the girl isn't every second, thinking about how great the guy is and they always seem overwhelmed by too much affection. Not all girls are like this, but take in consideration that most guys like myself do whatever it takes to be excepted and cared for. For a guy it is very tough now days to find a girl who is attracted to them in all personalities and features. We find absolutely no problem with the girl if we care so much for her.

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  • I think girls just prefer to intimate in a more private setting. That and when a guy is overly nice or affectionate (like me), it can sometimes scare them into thinking you're just putting up a front. That's why so many of them get with douche bags because they know what to expect from them, and when the douche IS nice, it's a pleasant surprise. I don't know, I have yet to, and probably won't EVER figure women out. My last relationship was as close to perfect as possible, and she left because she needed to know what it was like to date other people -__-

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  • I see this ALL THE TIME and while I have created a hypothesis I can't really claim that it's definitely correct. But knowing that in most relationships, the guy is the one who makes the first move, it also means the guy is more likely to be committed and happy that the female accepted his "offer" so to speak, and thus there is a higher chance that the female is just toying with his heart rather than being properly mutually committed.

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    • And so she doesn't show her appreciation in the form of affection nearly as much.

  • Some people are just not comfortable displaying affection publically. I've known men to be this way, too. My student's mother is always complaining how her husband doesn't even so much as hold her hand in public.

    I haven't really noticed that this is common with only women. I've seen a number of couples where the woman was very affectionate but the guy was not.

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  • For the girl that shit gets old very fast, for the guy is just turns him into a whipped little puppy.
    After a certain amount of time, men need to cut that down drastically. That's when the dynamics of power start changing in a relationship. Give them a bit, so they don't get used to it and appreciate it more when men show affection. Show it too much and it becomes super stale and valueless.

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  • I see this all the time too. Girls are cold inside.

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  • Well actually perseptions can be deceptive you know! i personally think its a sign of being totally relaxed and at one if you think about it how many really content relaxed people do you see laughing and giggling, when im relaxed i just feel really content within rather than jump around and stuff!

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  • Your correct however I HATE people who suck each other's face in public and hand IN the ass. you know what, women are CoNfUsInG <yeah confusing. they tell you their dream guy, then their hormones say something different. i'l marry at 35 thank you lol.

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  • interesting question..

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