Why is being nice a bad thing?

Okay, like, why is being nice to girls a bad thing? Rather, why do girls themselves act like it's a bad thing? Sites like jezebel demand respect and courtesy for women (or worship rather) yet demonize nice guys, um, what, that makes no sense. Apparently, if you're nice to a girl you're a misogynyst, dick, loser, and a potential rapist... because you're nice, because, that makes sense? Also, apparently you're manipulative if you're nice to the girl you like, because in Loony Land you should treat girls you barely know like crap on general principal, and don't you dare try to get to know her, no, that's a douchebag move and manipulative, just bang her outright and leave. Oh yeah, and if you get rejected, don't get mad, and don't stop being their friend either and especially don't stop giving them favors, because if you do, you're a dick. And if, by any chance, this pure anti-logic finally takes its toll on your sanity and you become bitter, that's you're fault because you're nothing but a filthy bitter misogynystthat won't find a girl until either he cleans up his "act" or she's pushing 40.

Rant over, point being, this whole demonization of being nice is completely insane, what do you think, especially girls. Is it wrong to be nice or "the nice guy".

As a side note, screw you jezebel, you managed to lower my opinion of both feminism and females in general so screw you.

Also, as I know some people will say this, no, I don't think I'm misogynyst, I'm just confused and upset, but, if you want to insult me, ho for it.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • there's nothing wrong with being nice. and if your thinking about the thing were "girls like bad boys nice guys finish last" UHM OKAY NO. i find the the whole "nice guy finish last" thing started because whenever a guy gets rejected a girl would usually say "youre a nice guy and all but id rather be friends" like wtf do you expect her to say "you hella ugly i dont like you or nah bro" i find that a lot of "nice guys" have trouble getting with a girl is because theyre hella friendly. AND friendly does not equal relationship.

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    • TIL one woman speaks for the entire female gender.

    • chill first of all i was talking from my point of view have told me secondly dont assume shit i clearly wrote "i find that..." so its my opinion i had no intention for speaking for the whole friggin female specie nor do i think i even phrased anything for you to assume that. goodness if you dont agree with it ignore it or at least make a reasonable comment.

What Girls Said 5

  • Don't listen to what those people say because as a girl I love it when a guy is nice. Society just makes douche bags more appealing in certain aspects. Why? No idea. Just be yourself and if someone comes after you for it just ignore them. Or punch them in the face. Whichever you'd prefer.

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  • Honestly, I'm gonna give you my female opinion. I like nice guys because they're different from your everyday guy. Guys now our days, (well most of them) are straight up douche packers. They're shallow, they only care about themselves. But nice guys, they actually care about you. And some even prove that chivalry isn't dead... like a Mr. Darcy or Captain Wentworth type. Nice guys are rare.
    But if a girl doesn't like a nice guy, or a guy that at least respects her, then the problem lyes with the girl.

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  • Hi there, being nice is kinda a way for people to get control of you, especially if you have a problem with saying no, like me. That's why people always say "nice guy finish last" usually the nice guys are taken control over by someone who dominates and controls them to get their power, because they usually have a problem with saying no.

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    • So only through hatred and cruelty can I be free? F*ck this world.

  • Being nice is never a bad thing. You just shouldn't let people walk all over you.

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  • It's not, it just doesn't guarantee sex, the way a lot of whiners wish. Do you want to date girls just because they're nice? Or do you want a pretty girl who is fun to hang out with who really gets you?

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    • Well, why should I be punished for kindness? My hatred is so strong because I realize no one gets me, no one will ever get me (I probably have bpd) so, I may as well just hate everyone anyway.

    • Show All
    • Yes, though I want to get a psych test for bpd (my therapist is for depression, but I have a lot of borderline symptoms) and Jezebel is a feminist blog, it was when I saw all the post about how badly nice guys suck, that I started thinking like this.

    • I would read really ugly manosphere rantings and get all depressed when things were bad for me, too. The internet is just a place where anyone can vent, rage, babble, etc. The pain you feel is your mental issues talking. Speaking from experience. Keep working it out and you'll find some peace. It sucks, but it's a challenge many learn to accommodate and lead fulfilling lives.

What Guys Said 4

  • Firstly don't take anything in any women's 'magazine' sites as more than crazed ramblings, most women don't.
    Yes the expectations of what a man should be, acording to pop culture, is really messed up these days, with many women listing mutually exclusive, opposing traits next to each other. Gender politics have rather upturned in the last 30 years, and while women and alternative sexualities have been empowered, men have been left confused. Stuck half way between several traditional and modern steriotypes.

    Be who you are, and you will find someone who accepts you for that person. Anyone else isn't worth it, and wouldn't be right for you.

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  • I agree with you. This idolization of assholes and demonization of nice guys is truly disgusting. It literally makes my stomach tighten from the wretchedness of it all. This is one of the things that has greatly lowered my opinion of women generally. It's psychotic.

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    • Yup, who would want to be treated like shit, that's insane.

  • I know exactly how you feel. As a guy who has been through high school, I have been nice to girls to try to get together with them, just to be friend-zoned and her go after a guy that treats her like crap. It's part of a girl maturing. When a girl starts going for nice guys, that is a sign of mental maturity. I see that you're under 18, and I want you to know, most girls your age have not matured much mentally (note the word most). I'm in college and most girls still haven't matured mentally.

    Why do I say this? I'm saying that if she doesn't like that you're being nice, she is not worth it. Those are the ones who end up cheating, or creating drama, or expecting to be the most important thing in your life. I know, I've been there. Don't stop being nice to try to get girls. It is tough, it is annoying and it is frustrating, but it is a fact of life. I hope I've helped you some.

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    • It's not fair I know a guy (friend until I had enough of his shit) whose a completely narcissistic asshole that cares only about himself, he's not even that great looking, yet he gets girls all the time.

  • I don't think being a nice guy is what screws guys over. I believe there is a balance to it all. From my experience, I would say all women need men to live the Alpha male roll. I noticed how many women I had ran across in my time, eventually found guys who kept them in check, no being a pushover. Majority of those women are still with those partners today. Being nice is only bad when you allow it work against your well-being.

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    • The thing is, I don't know the middle ground. I choose kindness, because for me, the only alternative is to just let out my anger and become a revenge obsessed dick.

    • Yeah, you don't want to be spiteful because that will only hurt you. It's hard to accept these things but unfortunately, they will always keep happening in life. I'm 29 and I have ran across many of these types of women that ripped my heart out. Just focus on other things, life is very complicated and this type of stuff can drive you crazy trying to understand their angle. People are just insecure and they tend to move along with people who complete them for so long before going on to do it over again. It's a vicious cycle.

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