Are guys really "intimidated by successful women or?

I am getting tired of the constant media bashing that if guys somehow don't want to deal with "i am a competitive woman" b/s they are omg patriarchal sexists who want a submissive woman.
No, maybe we want a woman who doesn't FIGHT with us all the time over every little thing.

Also there's the hypocritical "I am a successful woman but you as a man should out-earn me". Wait, what?

  • Yes they are intimidated by success ! Date me you pansy !!
    40% (4)14% (3)22% (7)Vote
  • Uhm.. no, not really we just don't like to deal with your "competitive" shit attitude.
    10% (1)68% (15)50% (16)Vote
  • If you're so successful, why do you need me to out-earn you? Am i a trophy for you?
    10% (1)18% (4)16% (5)Vote
  • I only like women who are in the kitchen !
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And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Studies consistently show that women seek high-status men as mates. If she's already more successful, a guy will not waste his time on someone who's going to dump him when someone she prefers comes along.

    And no, it's not worth our time trying to improve ourselves for a woman with that kind of commitment issue.

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What Girls Said 5

  • some guys are. they feel like if you make more money, you would look down on them and quickly leave them for another high earner

    also some guys have control issues and know that a woman with her own shit is less easy to control than a girl who has nothing to her name and has to rely on you for everything

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    • " they feel like if you make more money, you would look down on them and quickly leave them for another high earner"

      Are they wrong? Would you/wouldn't you?

    • if I agreed to date him to begin with, no

  • I feel this way, I really do. I have dated many guys and the first time around while getting to know me, they will out of the blue run scared. Then come back around when they been through the slut barn around here bc they realize I'm different. I work and go to dental school, great family, told everyday I'm beautiful gorgeous etc, religious, and I would love to have my own family. I know I will be a great wife. I love helping people and I'm very independent with all this it sounds I'm stuck up or narcisstic lol but I promise I'm not and very far from perfect but like I said they run and come back bc they're intimidated and I'm not goin to change myself into something less.

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    • Everyone who says about themselves that "i am beautiful" is a total turn off in my opinion.

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    • Well I'm not going to call myself ugly? lol and thank you Burgundy, that's exactly what I mean. I'm no Victoria secret model but I have confidence.

    • I want to applaud you. You go girl :)

  • All of my boyfriends have been unemployed, and I've had a job with two of my ex-boyfriends, and it never caused a problem within the relationship. I'd be happy for them if they got an interview and wish them the best of luck, and I wouldn't expect them to pay for stuff. If they wanted to and they could, then I wouldn't stop them but they knew they weren't expected to :) And since when did successful woman equal argumentative? :p Never actually had a big fight in relationships because it's just not in my nature and some relationship dynamics are just like that :)

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  • Success means so many different things to different people. However, people with huge egos who want recognition for every little achievement are exhausting. I could understand if people don't want to deal with that, but I guess it's easy for those people to say ''oh, they were just intimidated by my success'' rather than ''they were tired of my egotistical BS''

    From my perspective, I find competitive people very hard to get along with, and I suppose that could be seen as being intimidated or because of jealousy.

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  • First of all it depends on your woman. Because just because she's 'successful' doesn't mean she fights over everything. I think nowadays a lot of guys are actually getting sensitive to this and some women don't really care. You can't just assume that she wants you to out earn her and wants to fight about things and control things because for some women that isn't true. The immature ones maybe, but not all. Besides what if it's just encouragement? If I worked hard and got the job I wanted, why can't you? If it happens to make less, so be it. But as long as it's what you want to do, do it proud... Anyway, choose your women carefully. Society doesn't totally favor us, I'm sure.

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What Guys Said 12

  • It's B without a doubt and honestly... most of those girls with that attitude are hiding things underneath the surface and aren't independent.

    Also keep in mind we got girls in their lower 20's even who don't have a place calling themselves independent. The term varies from person to person. Some think independent means they don't have curfews and can go somewhere without explaining themselves. Others like me are looking more towards the lines of paying all your own bills and having a place of your own and not having parental supervision.

    So many girls in my personal opinion call themselves independent but aren't in my book.

    Now, "career women" from what I notice, tend to have a very snippy attitude. From what I see, they limit their own options in dating. They want a "successful" man but judge it all on income. The more money they earn, the less options they give themselves. If she earns 50k... suddenly all the guys earning 50k and under she "dismisses" as dating material. This is because she refuses to date a guy that won't give her access to the lifestyle she wants to live. This is also because she'll lose out financially in a divorce as well (hypergamy basically here).

    Now there are some who really don't care about the guy's earnings, and I think some guys do jump the gun. Like there are guys who will get intimidated and preemptively guess the girl's income and immediately think she's not gonna be interested. But I think these guys are not as plentiful as girls make them out to be. I also think most guys are grateful to be on a date in general nowadays with how picky a lot of girls are being nowadays.

    But I also see far more stories of these "career women" approaching dates and sitting at a table saying "I don't need a man!" and the guy just sitting there wondering who bit her in the ass to get her so bitter. The truly "successful women" don't brag about anything and simply do what they do and progress with their life.

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  • I don't think guys are "intimidated by success" so much as they're "not attracted to women who look and act like men." I remember watching an episode of the Bachelor, where this white guy let this black attorney go by not handing her a rose. As they were parting, she was like, "I guess he couldn't handle my success." It has nothing to do with that! I mean, I personally felt like the guy was an idiot, only because the other girls were like 1% more dolled up, and the black attorney looked like she was obviously more emotionally stable and smarter than the other girls. But in the initial stages of a relationship, the rational brain isn't working. It's all about instincts, hunches, and gut level feelings (i. e., sexual attraction). A business suit doesn't quite have the same effect on men when they're looking at a woman wearing one. Neither does a display of confidence or grandiose authority or power. And when a woman like that goes on a control/dominance/power trip and challenges the guy, it's all downhill for her from there lol.

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    • Are you really referring to "the bachelor" as an example. You do know its all scripted right? :D

  • It's not about money or success. It's about aggression.
    No guy wants a bad tempered aggressive woman. It's not very feminine.
    A successful, intelligent woman can still be very attractive and nobody cares how much she earns.

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  • I voted B.

    A woman successful in the career world isn't a bad thing at all! Those guys who think that are insecure pansies. :-P

    -----

    The issue is that these successful and driven career women, in order TO be successful in a male dominated workforce, usually have to be very competitive and less feminine overall to make it there.

    A successful career woman that can maintain and keep her feminine charm and feminine role in a relationship... is absolutely ideal to me and is the best catch I can find. ;-)

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  • I might be swerving from the true focus of your thread, but at 57 i am increasingly mystified about why men give a shit what women think about them, either personally or in the grandstand arena of public opinion. I guess my question is what in the world do women have that you guys are so willing to sacrifice your own self-opinion to get. Please don't say vagina. A good day's scan of this forum will demonstrate that there is plenty of that available to even the crassest, most Neanderthal of men. And certainly this current trend for guys to kowtow to a woman because 'she's the best person i've ever known' is so mathematically unsound as to be ridiculous. Two point five billion people of the opposite gender on this planet, and you've stumbled on the one and only woman you will never be able to live without? I don't think so. Plus with those kinds of odds, you have nothing to lose when feeling threatened by a woman by simply putting up your hand, saying i'm sorry this is not appropriate to discuss, and walking away.
    There is nothing, i repeat nothing, that needs to be displayed toward women beyond what we all show in civil communication every day, regardless of the race or gender with whom we are engaging.
    In the long run i'm sure what i say isn't going to matter. Most of the folks on here will dismiss my viewpoints based on age alone. The rest will mostly go with the flow and continue granting women special status when all that is at issue is how human beings treat one another.

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  • I do have a preference for competitive, successful and independent women but then, her expectation for me to outearn her is rather hypocritical. While I don't suggest that I should earn less than the successful woman whom I wish to date, but what I'm saying is it must be left to chance and the choice of the chance should be accepted by both. When both live in the same, equal competitive world, there is an equal chance that one could be more successful than the other and it could well be the woman.

    Hence, I voted C.

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  • One thing I have noticed is that women often assume that men do, or should, put the same kind of important on a woman's professional success that they do men's. Which is simply not the case.

    If it was, Oprah would be one of the most wanted woman out there.

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  • I voted B... I respect a successful lady as much as a successful guy. Same with young or old, any race, any cultural background. Doing a good job in anything deserves respect independant of who you are.

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  • I am not intimidated by a successful woman. Successful women turn me on. I like a girl who knows what she wants and goes after it. That's what life is all about.

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  • Actually i think its a turn on. Im only intimidated by a beautiful woman

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  • No, I actually prefer successful women ;)

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  • No I don't think they're intimidated. In fact, actually successful women (not the affirmative action types) tend to have more male admirers than female admirers. That's what I've noticed anyway.

    Unfortunately being successful oftentimes requires aggressiveness. And aggressiveness in a woman is a turn-off. It's a rare person who can just turn off the aggressiveness outside of work and then turn it back on again at work.

    And there's the issue that many women won't date men who earn less than them. So that further limits their chances.

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    • Also another problem is... we've been told so long the lie that men and women are just the same, gender is a social construct, that now even women are believing it. Women find men with successful careers a turn-on, so women assume men must feel the same way. When they realize that isn't the case, it shocks them so much that they just can't believe it. So they assume something must be wrong with those men

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