I'm so confused maybe it's because I have never done this before?

Seeing this guy for 11 months we get on well we message everyday he lives 200 miles away tho , I like him he likes me we tell each other everything we connect etc. I felt a bit down the other day so we had a chat online everything got to me so I said let's end it , he said I'm disappointed you want to end it after the other night , meaning the great night we had the sex was amazing !! he doesn't want to end it so we chatted and everything is fine now. But I do like him I feel so attarched to him and he says he is to but it hurts when he said I'm a top mate !! :( after everything we have been through together eg pregnancy scare , personal things he and I haven't told anyone we have shared , when he drives to see me he always pleasures me the most likes to make me feel satisfied always , he says he cares and Worrys about me and likes me and can't let go , i do have feelings for him I can't tell him incase he rejects me :/ but he isn't the horrible type he is lovely but I'm just worried so I have said he's a bestie mate to him just to cover my feelings , never been in this type of situation with a guy yes it's fun and I do like the sex part but can't help how I'm feeling it's killing me inside , maybe I should just keep it to myself? I don't know what to do :( I think the world of him and he's always there for me. I have been so nasty to him at times maybe because I'm frustrated I've called him horrible names even told him to F off and he always forgives me and wants to see me still , he travels to see me and even travels all the way back home after , just confused help

Updates:
It's the bit when he said I'm a top mate that's made me think he doesn't like me in that other way

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You need to decide what you want. I don't get why you're breaking up with him and not wanting to. You need to know your own mind

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    • I don't want to break up I do it to get reaction from him I know it's immature of me , I'm scared of rejection

What Guys Said 1

  • I think men sometimes say stuff and dont realise that you women analyse everything. He said a lot of great stuff such as he says he cares and Worrys about me and likes me and can't let go.

    Dont get hung up on a phrase like Top Mate. If you are sure he is single and unattached, just go with the flow and relax.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Why can't you tell him how you feel? You have to just be plain and simple with him. You can't be beating around the bush

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    • Scared of rejection

    • Awww hun.. I would ask myself this, if he drives down to you just to be with you and please you, talks to you everyday.. I think he likes you too.

      i have someone i'm seeing and he calls me "mate" (and i know he likes me because i asked him straight up) his calling you "top mate" well because his scared his going to ruin things. Just like a cover up on hs intentions. And i think those intentions is to be with you..

    • Yes he's lovely he drives nearly 3 hours to come and be with me even if it's just for a few hours , but it's the mate bit , I think he says it to make it clear to me that's all I am , but then he says he cares about my feelings and Worrys if I'm down , and for him to still stick around after everything I've called him in our last argument he is amazing !! Aww thank you for inderstanding me :) I have never had a guy be so nice to me and I'm very scared of rejection I can't handle being hurt again x

  • What is a top mate?

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    • He means good friend

    • It seems to me he treats you very well. You need to stop being afraid because this guy is a keeper. Don't let him go!

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