I want to date but I'm always self conscious?

I'm 20 and I've never had a boyfriend. I've been approached many times and usually get harassed at parties. The last one I went to was a boat party and literally 10 guys approached me, and 2 stalked me. Thankfully my friends were there to help. One of my friend tried hitting on me but I was just like no- I liked him for a very long time, but he had a girlfriend and I'm not that type of girl. He was actually the one who told the other guys to back off because apparently (and I quote) "I was there with him." Apart from that people at college have liked me too but I always seem to back out at the last minute and distant myself. I don't know why I do this.. What should I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I am 19 and I am in a similar situation. Personally I'd rather date a girl like you, ; ) , than those popular ones who've had a boyfriend for each week.

    We're all a little self-conscious. Just try talking to men, if you see a guy who seems sociable and friendly, go up and say "hi". You don't need to date the guy or flirt with him but just be friendly and talk. The first few times you do this, you're gonna be nervous. But if the guy is friendly then he'll appreciate an amicable conversation.

    The purpose of this is to get you comfortable. The first three times you do this, you might be nervous but after a while, you'll get used to it. I did the same thing with girls, I didn't date them but what interacting with them did help me become more used to talking to girls and be comfortable with myself. I didn't date these girls but it was good to have friendly conversations.

    Maybe one day if you see a guy you find hot then come up to him and say "Hello" and start a conversation. You can even let him know you're "shy" and if he is a decent man he'll try to be considerate.

    More than likely though, a guy will ask you out in the future but you should put yourself in a position to be approached if that's what you want. Just keep putting yourself out there. Pay attention to a guy's character and have fun dating.

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What Guys Said 3

  • You're protecting yourself which you've got to do. You'll get more comfortable eventually. Talking, coffee, a date, it will follow from one to the other.

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  • It's normal and natural to be careful about things like this and relationship's. If anything, just sit back and find the right one for you first. It's just your Mind trying to keep you from making the wrong choice with someone. But it also helps to get to know some guys really well.

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  • Sounds like lots of guys like you, so you should feel confident about yourself. Next time a guy approaches you and you like him too, try going with the flow.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Your mind knows that you're not ready for a relationship so you push people away. Just don't push forever because eventually no one will come back

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