Guys. Is it a poor excuse when a guy says he cannot be in relationship because he has so many things happening in school/work/other clubs?

We dated about 2 months. Things got shaky when I admitted that I do like to be in relationships, that I feel like they weigh me down... thinking me saying that would have no consequence made me wish I didn't say that. It was completely normal for about 2 weeks after I said that. Then WHAM, he just stopped talking to me. I was hurt, since we had such a great time together, and realizing that for the first time I could be in a relationship. I confronted him asking what happened between us, and he said that he got so busy and that he is sorry about it all, and that he misses me. I told him, I miss being with him too, and both agreed to hang out soon. With time, we went on two other great dates, holding hands and kissing in public. I felt so comfortable with him, and attached at that point. Thinking all was going to be fine, I heard from a friend he was dating another girl. I was so hurt. While talking, about an invitation I had for him, he had an excuse. I confronted him about the other girl. He said, "yes I went on a date with her, but it was very clear we were incompatible... I like you" Feeling a bit better about it, I said we need to talk because we are not on the same page. In a nutshell I expressed how I want to work towards a relationship, and he told me, "I like you, I had a lot of fun on our dates, but it seemed like you didn't want to be with me by the way you expressed your pas relationships.. I would be a bad boyfriend.. I know this sounds like a cop out, but I have so much on my plate" I mentioned that I am not going to persuade him to be in a relationship with me, and that it's fine, we don't want the same things. He then asked, "well, can we still date?" I told him no, I need my space." And answered, so I can't even talk to you. As my throat choked up, I shook my head no, it was a sad depart. IWhats your opinion?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Wanting to concentrate on school, work, or his preexisting social obligations is not automatically a weak excuse.

    He's got his reasons, and I don't think he wants to share. Good reason or not, I think it's best that you move on. Hit Pizza Hut with a couple friends, ideally at least one male friend, and and ask them what they think. Their comments should help you move on, and some tasty food will help your mood. Talking with people will keep you from eating too much due to sadness.

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What Guys Said 5

  • It's a legitimate excuse. As a career oriented man myself, I have sacrificed finding a woman because obtaining my dream requires a lot of time. I know relationships require time and effort, and it wouldn't be fair for me to be in a relationship as I'm trying to chase my dreams.

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    • Interesting thought, thank you!

  • Suddenly he want to get more involved to work/school la la la - this is how it sounds... sorry

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  • It's just a kind way of getting rid of you. He's not keen

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  • Lol DAT der "I'm busy" pass. And yes it is excuse, sorry

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  • Depends on how much she's expecting.

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What Girls Said 0

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