How to successfully date a co-worker when you will get fired if you get caught?

I have been dating a co-worker for 3 months. He is the controller and I am in customer service. We work with about 6 other people in the office. When I was hired our boss gave him a speech about not thinking about trying anything with me but we joined a volley league together and started talking more outside of work. We really hit it off and had a lot of nice dates after that. We are now at the point where we aren't dating other people and in a "normal" circumstance would progress to becoming bf and gf. I also should add that we live in a small town where everybody knows everybody business so we have keep things hush hush from everyone... I'm looking for advice on what to do now since our feelings have grown stronger and it's hard to take the next step knowing we could get fired if work found out. Neither one of us get any thrill from keeping things secret and it's weighing heavy on our minds.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, most people already know about the relationship. I work in a close environment and relationships are known. The biggest thing is to not show any feelings and remain professional in the working environment. Don't show any PDA when you're in public; only show the emotional connection in your house. Also, just accept the fact one of you or both of you may get fired. Prepare for that too if you decide to walk down this path.

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    • So you think our bosses may already know? Maybe that's why they keep telling him to stay away or she wouldn't be interested in you.. living in a small town would you suggest still going on dates and if somebody saw us out togther. Would that b too obvious, or do u think we could play it off as being friends?

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    • I can't guarantee that you won't get fired, but as long as you remain professional, things should be fine.

What Guys Said 5

  • Well, you could get fired along with him no matter what control he has
    than your both stuck with smeared employment history it makes no
    difference if you date outside of work there is still that chance of some-
    thing bad coming out it now if one of you switch employment to another place
    that would be okay

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  • If it's against office policy, you can be legally fired without compensation.

    If there's no rule against it, go for it. Just keep out of each others' chain of command. Neither of you can ever be in a position where your decisions affect each other in any way whatsoever.

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    • Thank goodness There isn't a written rule book. However, our offices are next door to each other and we all work closely together. I wouldn't say I am any closer to him than the other employees though

    • If you two are in a position where it's possible to benefit each other's careers, you should worry. The possibility of favoritism is just as bad as actual favoritism when it comes to office politics.

  • You might want to get another job. It will just be easier.

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    • Yes, it would be and I have thought about that a lot. I do very well at this job though and it will be tough finding another one In the area that would match up with this one

    • I know. But the downside is you both get fired, or you - and it affects your relationship. Or you break up, and work is awkward.

    • Sounds like looking for another job may b the best option... I think I should wait though to c how things progress

  • If you have an employee handbook look into what the official company rules are. My company forbids it, but if it does happen you must be under different managers to avoid a conflict of interest.

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    • No employee handbook and nothing was ever said to me. They just talked to him and continue to tell him not to think about it

    • If you are fired you should be able to challenge whether it is justified or not. The other choice would be for one of you to seek different employment.

  • You're doing this out of spite

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    • No, the feelings happened naturally and I get nothing from keeping things a secret. I am normally very open with my feelings

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    • Then you wouldn't do it

    • If it was genuine, you wouldn't do it. You're doing this out of spite

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