The guy I'm dating is in a fake relationship with his best girl friend and loves me but he doesn't have time for a relationship?

I have been dating for some months with this guy (I'm 24, he's 25) and he said he loves me and wants me. I love him so I thought it all sounds good.

That was to soon. He told me yesterday that he was in fake relationship with his best girl friend to please his parents and get them off his back (also towards their friends). Besides this he told me he has no time for a relationship because of school (he has adhd and is dyslexic). Also this best friend doesn't know about me nor have I met anyone in his life and he didn't show any intrest to meet any of mine (I only met one of his friends and that was through Skype). Also he told me they used to have something together but according to him there is really nothing between them now and that he wants me and not her.

Is it just me or is he just aiming for a friends with benefits relationship with me (I did make clear that I wasn't looking for that) and that the fake relationship isn't fake?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Putting both perspectives into the equation I feel for both of you. For the male, I understand the pressure from the family, however from the friends I do not. A true friend voices their opinions, but should in the end respect his or her decision. A bff is dating a girl who I believe he shouldn't be dating, but he decided to date her anyway. I don't approve, but I respected his decision. Lastly, him being busy could be legit primarily because my life is very busy with numerous projects apart from school. Dating is something which I cannot do at the moment. I must ask though, if he has no time for a relationship, how can he be in a "fake" one? For you part, you did things completely fine. Personally I take a no bullshit approach to dating. If she can't go out, puts up excuses, I leave and never look back. I'm not complete cut throat however, I just would tell her I think it's best we move on. I do this for two reasons: 1) your time is limited, and 2) do you really want to go back and forth with these emotional battles over many months? Try to think what's best for both of you. I would have to say there is a 50/50 chance he wants FWB, primarily because of the pressure from his family and friends ( In my culture, family pressure is very influential).

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    • About the "fake relationship". According to him they are almost always together at his place anyway (even through it takes her about an hour to get to his place) and they don't go out or something like that.

What Guys Said 2

  • I'm gonna call you osmium, cause girl, you are dense.

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  • He's playing games with you, he sounds very immature and you should consider moving on.

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    • I agree, drop him. Nothing good will come of this. "The more complicated the story, the bigger the lie".

What Girls Said 2

  • What the hell is a fake relationship? He is using you for the sexual benefits. If he was really interested in you, he would A. Introduce YOU to his parents instead of "faking" something with another girl for his parents, B. Not have to fake anything at all and just be with you, and C. Introduce you to his circle of friends instead of one friend on Skype (sounds shady). If friends with benefits is something you're okay with, then cool... stay. But it sounds like you want more from him, and it sounds like he's fooling you into thinking you're going to get it, and is enjoying benefits with you along the way. He sounds like a jerk, and you are naive to the situation. At least you're starting to catch on, since you're on this site asking about it. He is playing you. If you don't want the friends with benefits, then walk away. Don't be so gullible, you deserve better.

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    • The fake relationship is that he makes everyone believe he's in a relationship with her while nothing is going on. He does this that everyone gets off his back. It seems this was going on since before he met me.

      Call me a prude, but I don't give in to sex that easy especially if I have doubts about someone's intention (which I have). I haven't done anything with him yet.

      I play a game on the net which he also plays (not something like that hugely addictive game) and he invite me to play with him and his friend while talking on Skype (this was way at the start after the first date and he didn't introduce me).

  • well lets put it this way, why isn't he bringing you to his parents to get them off his back about being in a relationship instead of continuing to fake it with her. its obvious this is nothing more than him two timing you or using you for sex

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