Is a woman who identifies as a "feminist" a turn off or a turn on?

Do you subtract or add "points" if she answers yes to "are you a feminist?"
( obviously this is a question for guys )

  • Turn off
    6% (3)76% (53)45% (56)Vote
  • Turn on
    11% (6)23% (16)18% (22)Vote
  • I am a woman here to see results
    83% (45)1% (1)37% (46)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I would really like to know which idiot decided to call the movement feminism and not gender-equalism or something like that. It would have made for a lot less misunderstandings. This question is basically like asking whether you'd like your girlfriend to be racist or not, with the difference that saying you'd like her to be racist wouldn't be as normal oder accepted as saying you'd like your girlfriend not to be a feminist.

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What Girls Said 16

  • Geez, there's nothing wrong with being a feminist. I probably wouldn't date a guy if he was opposed to feminism. Feminism is the desire for fair, respectful, and equal treatment of women specifically, but really all people, genders, and sexual orientations.
    If a guy isn't into that, then that's typically a bad sign.
    The idea that feminists are all "man-hating lesbian hippies" is such an old definition. One that has always been incorrect. In fact, I'm pretty sure it was perpetuated by men who were threatened by the idea of women "taking over" which is such crap because that's not the point at all.
    Welcome to 2014.

    *braces self for the onslaught of down votes*

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  • I'm going to say it's generally a huge turn off for most guys. Feminism isn't what it used to be many years ago. It's just a complete fucking joke now and it's gotten way out of control.

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  • I honestly wouldn't date a guy who is against feminism. If he has particular complaints, that's one thing but if he is one of those people who want to get rid of the whole, that's just a deal breaker.
    I know a lot of girls say they also don't need feminism, and it's great that they take their right for granted, that's how it should be. But looking at history, looking at other countries should teach you that you can't do that.
    A lot of people are really uneducated about history in that area. As they say, history is the history of men and it's true. You learn very little about women and their situation in most history classes. Which leads to misconception that feminism and women's rights started in the 50s, when in fact the movement had already accomplished main goals by then. But then people look back at those times and think "wasn't it great before feminism?" Now that's just stupid. I could never be with a man like that

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    • Judging by the votes... you will need some cats.

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    • Your definition of feminism to be exact.
      I could go onto a very lengthy debate about what is wrong with current day women... but it would take us hours and i won't change your mind so i prefer to not waste my time.

    • I didn't define feminism

  • Men and women not attracted to feminists are extremely sexist. We wouldn't get on well, my vagina would jump off and run away from me and never look back.

    Anti-femnists are close minded, racist, homophobic, est. So I never take it personally if someone is against feminism/feminists It's a huge red flag to their beliefs and personality in general.

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    • Lol, ok thank you for your input.

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    • To add on to your additional posts, if you ever read any of other answers on this site, I always acknowledge my privileged as a white person. I suffered from classicism, but being white gave me an advantage that I don't apologize for. Socially I have it better than minority men and women, however I still face social inequalities for being female. I would never want to trade places with you or a minority woman. In my world it has nothing to do with power, as a white woman I have more social advantages than minorities, even when I was living below poverty in a trailer park. That isn't power, it is injustice. Acknowledging the injustices and subdivisions we have in human society, isn't a factor of power, I would consider it an act of humanity.

    • If anything you simply pointed out the hierarchy of the subdivisions that we have in our society. I've already explained that. Just as you have the light skinned vs dark skinned hierarchy in the black community. Just as activist groups against poverty mainly advocated for white people in poverty only. I'm using race as such a heavy example because I figured you would be able to understand. Your responses just show that you've ignored the womens movement completely. Black feminism exists, if you're so good at finding links, why don't you search on it?

      Today the feminist movement is becoming more unison. Groups divided by class, race, age, ability, est are starting to unite.

  • I don't care much for feminism. I just don't wanna have anything to do with misogynists. And just for the record, my definition of what misogyny is happens to be pretty narrow. For example, there's this one guy in my class who can hit on me and say that most women should be eradicated, sparing only a few for reproductive purposes, in the same breath. That's the one kind of anti-feminist I don't wanna have anything to do with.

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    • Well there's this feminist woman who says we should keep 10% of the population as males and rest to be killed off because - get this - testosterone is poison and men are "deformed women".
      Also there's the countless "The end of men" books coming out while women cheer everywhere.

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    • I can spend more if you want.

      Oh hey! Look what i found :)
      www.femitheist.net/.../...tration-day-refined.html

    • I got pages of this stuff...

  • I wouldn't date a guy who was against feminism and had this awful view that because there are some extreme feminists who are being awful human beings that all feminists are man-haters who think women are better than men. The people who believe that are just as detrimental to men's rights as the femi-nazi's and girl-stapo.

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    • This is a thoughtful and 21st centuryesque opinion, PROPS

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    • If you can't see the difference between a fact and an opinion then I'm done. I'm done anyways because there has been nothing new posted in this thread, just you repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating

    • You're right, my points are facts, and yours are delusional opinions.
      Good bye.

  • Anti-feminists are a huge turn-off to me. No matter if male or female.

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  • well it depends on what "Feminist" means in her eyes. For some women, a feminist is someone who wants to be equal with men. But for other women a feminist is someone who thinks women should get more things than men, and that men have to do everything a women asks.

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    • This is very true, though I think the woman who identify with the second grouping there are merely uneducated, and are trying to use "trendy feminism" to get what they want. They end up unknowingly tarnishing the cause for the rest of us.

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    • If we just gave up in what we believed in because some crazies were, well, being crazy, then that isn't much commitment to the ideals is it? You don't just abandon a belief because some mental man-haters are labelled the same as you by uneducated anti-feminists.

    • What makes you say that anti-feminists are 'uneducated' and not you feminists are brainwashd?

      During the old soviet era anti-communists were "uneducated" too.

  • I just don't want to be with someone that keeps on bringing up the topic about feminism, whether it's in favor or against. Could we just have a simple and normal conversation?

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    • Any conversation will happen only after this important question:
      Are you a feminist ( man-hater because the so-called "moderates" are without a voice ) or a non-feminist?

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    • Honestly, it saves me from wasting further time on some guy that's obsessed with feminism and probably has issues of his own.

    • being obsessed was not the question - you being one or a supporter was.
      Thank you for your most illuminating comment.

  • Is say yes. Guys who aren't feminist just assume your some man hating lesbian ( even though we aren't). Also the people who don't understand the issue are usually those who have never faces the same struggle

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  • to me I would think it would be.

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  • I'd say that it depends on the type of feminist. The term feminist means that someone believes in equal rights for both genders. Some women change the meaning of feminism to make women get more rights than men. That's called a feminazi. Feminazis believe that a man should never hit a women. Feminazis think that men should pay for their meals and hold the door open for ladies.

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  • I'm a feminist and I think it's would probably be a turn off

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  • Wow this again. I guess this will soon become another one of the repetitive ''Jerk/nice guy'' posts or maybe it is already.
    Once again, I think it's the radicals that ruins it all and it can be done on any type of organization; they disguise themselves to fit in with the orginal group. Unfortunately, there are extremists everywhere. If not feminism radicals, there are religious fanatics too and so on.

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    • Yes but not unlike religion, the moderates of feminism are awfully quiet about it.
      Even worse, the mainstream is cheering for the radicals.

      I think i posted some link about man hating being on the front page of newspapers like the Times and NYT, etc

    • "Yes but not unlike religion" So like religion. And if you meant what I think you meant, no they're not. I hear feminists complaining all the time about the radicals, and speaking out against people who generalize.

    • Not where it counts - aka the media.
      You complaining personally where no one can hear you is insignificant.

      The only feminists that complain are Christina Hoff Summers.. and ironically "mainstream feminists" bash her all the time as a bigot.

  • Depends on what kind of feminist she is. There is the real kind, who fights for equality. And then there is the psyco kind, who want to see all men, castrated and executed..

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    • Haven't met the 'real kind' in RL to be honest.
      All i run into seem to be the arrogant "don't need no man" brand. And online everyone can lie.

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    • You "see" it as far as MEDIA tells it to you.
      You are TOLD this and you BELIEVE it. It does not mean you "understand" the situation.

      If you think feminism "ain't all that bad" and that the hate is "fringe" then tell me why are most feminists closer to POWER , all of them hateful of men?

    • Media? Media has nothing to do with what Im talking about. I understand feminism perfectly.
      Did you even read what I wrote? I never said feminism *ain't all that bad' In fact I didn't say anything. Only that there are feminist who fight for equality, and then there is those who hate men.

  • "Feminism" receives such a negative connotation. "Feminism" simply means that people believe that women are equal to men and deserve to be respected and valued for who they are rather than what they look like. Women are as powerful and as intellegent as Men. Men are as deserving of respect as women. I'm a feminist, but if a man held a door open for me, I'd graciously accept this gesture.

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    • " if a man held a door open for me, I'd graciously accept this gesture. "
      Why?
      Can't you open the door for yourself?

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    • How can you connect through someone emotionally when you know always you're just an accessory.
      or if the woman who you're supposedly "connecting" with will jump to the "better" guy at first chance like a parasite?
      Most women today think like this, so why even bother?

    • Maybe the women you've encountered are that coldhearted, which might be the case - people can be very selfish. But I'd never think of any of my ex-boyfriends as accessories, even if I didn't "need" them. I may not have been dependent, but I know my life had been made better for having met them and having them in my life. Sure, none of them were perfect, but no one is, and I'd never "jump to a better guy" because to me, when I was with them, there was no better guy, each was perfect in their own way. When you truly love someone, he or she becomes a part of your life

What Guys Said 41

  • Turn off.

    I agree with the core principles of feminism, but the feminist movement and the people in it tend to go against those principles, or they choose the least desirable way to act in accordance with them among many better options, and they also tend to have a very adversarial nature about them.

    Being a genuinely kind and helpful person, they quickly misinterpret me as a "nice guy" and start being assholes. When they don't, they usually watch everything I do, just waiting for an opportunity to start an argument. If I manage to make it to the point of having a date with them, they tend to be steadfastly opposed to old-fashioned chivalry, which is something I enjoy. During the lunch or dinner, it tends to come out that she is some kind of vegetarian or has some kind of eating disorder. By the time the horrid date is over, they tend to get hypersexual, which is something I find repulsive, and they often become violent when I don't respond in the "yay, a slut!" manner they were hoping for. Even, by some miracle, we have been going out for a long time, it is pretty much inevitable that she will start spewing some man-hating or man-disregarding rhetoric she would be ashamed to utter in public around her likewise feminist friends.

    While I agree with the core principles of feminism, I have also learned to stay away from those who identify with the feminist movement. They're nothing but trouble.

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  • If a woman identifies herself as a feminist, I'd avoid her like plague. I wouldn't want some kind of false charges slapped on me because of the 'twisted' ways in which feminists' mind works.

    The word 'feminism' itself spells trouble for men. I'm all for 'equality' of the genders, but totally against 'feminism' which advocates only 'selective' equality for women (that is, they want everything to be equal when it benefits women more, and in other cases they want things to remain as they are).

    Contrary to what most women believe, 'feminism' is NOT the same as 'gender equality''.

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    • "Contrary to what most women believe, 'feminism' is NOT the same as 'gender equality''. "

      Those who benefit from a hate movement are usually willingly ignroe it's flaws.
      KKK, nazis, etc

    • 'KKK, Nazis etc.'
      Hehehe, now this sounds hilarious, but its true! Only difference is that KKK and Nazis used violent methods to prove their points, whereas feminists do it in other ways. The intention remains similar, though.

  • Thanks to the new wave of radical feminists, or as I like to call them feminazis, any pride that there may have been in the past in being a feminist is almost no longer existent. While I know that these are a minority, they are also the ones that are shown in news articles and on Tumblr etc., and are also the ones pushing stupid laws like if a girl has consumed any alcohol it's rape (if the guy's drunk and she's sober and she fucks him it's normal but the other way around is sexual assault/rape?), or that a minor gets sexually abused by an adult woman and gets her pregnant then he still has to pay her child support, etc. etc.; they're the ones blaming all of society's problems on "the patriarchy" and "rape culture" and "victim blaming" (i. e. refusing to take responsibility) while trying to simultaneously say that they're fighting for "equality". The word feminism alone indicates otherwise, not a lot of equality to be seen there. There's a plethora of other things that feminazis do and have caused, and it's gotten to the stage where being a feminist (radical or not) has such a negative connotation to it that I can't find a feminist attractive anymore regardless of how I felt about them before. I know countless guys feel the same way too. Even the results of the poll show this.

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  • I think it's a huge turn on.. I seem to be the only guy so far who thinks so at this time. The girl I'm talking to right now identifies as kind of a feminist and it's awesome.

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  • I say it's a turn off NOT BECAUSE I don't want women to be equal in rights and opportunities...
    ...
    ... but I genuinely feel that if a woman verbalizes her that she is a feminist (without being in a political esque conversation)...
    ...
    ... I would consider her to be one of those radical man eater types.

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  • Feminism as its been explained to me is egalitarianism with a different name. However, the most visible real executions of feminism of which I'm aware are antagonizing to men, and thus don't muster my support - I do what I can to support their spoken goal, but I would never do so under their toxic name.

    Hearing someone identify as a feminist, considered as a romantic interest, bodes the prospect having to listen to a lot of podcasts and deal with a partner who's become enraged by public issues shouts it all out on her partner. It's not what I look for in a relationship - I find rhetoric and anger very taxing, especially in the many cases presented by feminists in which I don't have any way to meaningfully assist in countering the issue.

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  • Having met the feminists I have met, major turn off.

    I got one at my job going on about how she's a "feminist activist" and she comes to work bragging about how she's dressing her 6 year old son up in a bikini and shit. She also likes to keep bashing men while whining about how she wants to wear super short shorts to work (we can wear shorts but she wants them shorter and she's fat so it'd seriously be gross to see). She's seriously annoyed like... every single one of my coworkers and when she wants to get away with stuff she uses the "I'm a girl" line. She looks for fights at every chance she can get.

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    • Wait what happened to "equality" if she's using "i'm a girl" ?
      lol hypocritical woman...

  • If a woman is confident and believe women deserve equality (true feminist view) then I am completely in agreement with them and their confidence would be a turn ON.

    If a woman is fanatical and falls into the modern feminist view/is radical she is a massive turn off and, let's be 100% honest here, will very unlikely be attractive anyhow. I am not trying to be rude but think about it for a moment, can you HONESTLY say you have even once seen a modern feminist with those radical views who is attractive? They ALL look the same so it wouldn't even come to "points" or not as they are usually very simply identified anyhow.

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  • Maybe if she is a feminist in a country where feminism is needed, for example Iran, I would have a high respect for her. If she is a feminist in modern day North America, then it's a huge turn off. Most feminists today in modern countries are just man hating, cynical people who I wouldn't want to associate myself with.

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    • nah, i am talking about feminsits who complain about video game sexism and being proposed in an elevator for coffee = rape.

    • Ya, so modern day North American lesbians. Huge turn off, like I said most of them are just cynical, man hating ass hats who I wouldn't want to associate myself with.

  • That just means you need to be cautious and figure out whether that is a good thing or a bad thing. Aka, does that just make them more sexist towards males, or if they are truly more into the concept of equality. The first is obviously a turn-off, the second is obviously a turn-on as all the people I have known who emphasize equality are smarter than those who get bogged down by stereotypes and make stupid claims like "men are all cheaters" or "all women are good for is sex and if you don't discipline them properly then they will cheat on you, manipulate you out of your money and make you miserable". You have to be a very specific kind of dumbass to make claims like that, and any feminist who doesn't is smart - and intelligence is a turn-on.

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    • Personal experience - i have always ran into the first kind in RL, and into the second kind online ( where people lie a lot ).

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    • Technically speaking feminism currently consists of two groups, egalitarians and radical feminists

    • This sounds like the "only true Muslims murder their daughters and blow things up" argument.

  • I wouldn't want to date an extremist of any faction, be it fueled by drugs religion race gender or diet, if they strongly use it as a part of their personality they clearly have little else to offer - be it stoner or straight edge, anti theism or Westboro Church/ Islamic State, feminist or vegan, they are one trick ponies who only match equals of extremism and delusion.

    Obsession is unhealthy and if you can't have a discussion without it always turning to shouting and personal digs you only worsen your cause if it ever existed. I would NEVER date someone who would not accept I am better at certain things naturally by gender, a relationship works best when you work together using each others strengths not fighting against each other to show you are some fantasy of equality.

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  • Niether.
    If she feels one way or the other and can logically discuss her stance while maintaining proper respect for other parties: Major turn on.
    The stance is less important than the fact she can discuss it. And the fact the discussion must be respectful and logical, rules out straw femenists and militant crazies.

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    • I'm a feminist, and I respect you for that answer - I have friends who disagree with me but we're respectful about it, and sometimes discuss it logically and calmly... and we still remain friends! The same remains for partners xx

  • Massive turnoff.

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  • It's a turn off.

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    • Feminism is about dominance. The ladies talk about it as if we're dumb. How are they being oppressed in the western world? Equal opportunity doesn't necessarily mean an equal outcome.

  • I like that - seeing as how I consider myself a feminist it would be a turn on to know that we have common interests.

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  • Turn off honestly. She can pursue her interests of establishing equality, but often those who label themselves as feminists head in a more extreme direction.

    Additionally, there are some completely dense ideas/assumptions/double standards that they have, which I don't agree with.

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  • Turn off because when I hear the word 'feminist' I think of the term 'fairweather feminist' and that the girl just so conveniently dropped the 'fairweather'.

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  • Turf off. Nowadays the topic of feminism is just too much to bear !!!

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  • "Turn on" is stretching it a bit, but it is by no means a turn off. I would only find it a turn off if she was your stereotypical, man-hating loony kind of feminist, but I've yet to meet one of those.

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  • Definitely a turn-off.

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  • Depends. If she believes in equality but expects me to pay for her and "be the man" in the relationship than yes its a turn off. But if she asks me out and pays for our first date and makes the first move thsn its a turn on

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    • I'd always expect my partner to be the man in our relationship, if he doesn't then who would I be fucking?

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    • Whoa there boys, no, I was making a joke. I want my boyfriend to be a man, as in, NOT a woman, or an ape, or a hot dog, or a piece of cheese... I would like him to be a human male.

    • Well then we're back to square 1 as you haven't addressed partybou45's issue. ( look down )

  • Not a turnoff but the hyperbolic stereotypical feminist is a turnoff but that's a rare find. I actually fully support feminism despite all my stupid friends bashing it all the time.

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  • Well, its not a turn on, but it really depends on the girl whether or not it would be a turnoff. See, i firmly believe in the ideology which says "listen to all, but follow none". I have a problem with embracing feminism with ones full heart, because I couldn't ever agree with some of the common things feminists say. But im not against everything they say either. Whether its a turn off or not depends on how radical they are

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    • Fair enough. When they got good points i am on board too, but usually they fuck up those good points with batshittery really fast.

  • Off. 100% off

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  • Neither.
    Feminism is so broad and unorganized I have NO IDEA what she meant by she's a feminist.
    Its a bit like saying she's a supporter of Christianity... ok... which branch?

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  • Complete turn off, id like to be an equal partner at least

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    • Women here claim feminism is about "equal partners" lol.

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    • Nope, you're right. I was just having some fun with you :D

    • i just want a normal girl, who is cool. if she treats me right I will treat her the same

  • I was raised to do stuff for girls like hold the door open for them and stuff like that. If she's a feminist then she won't want me to do any of those things and might be annoyed if I do,

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    • I'm a feminist, and I appreciate when a man holds a door open for me (or lends me his coat as I'm shivering). Just as I would hope that any person appreciates a gesture of kindness, as I hold a door open for him or her

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    • And @cr4yn3n I was too. My girlfriend loves it when I give her my coat. I need someone that doesn't get upset if I offer to pay for dinner.

    • It's not that feminists want to do everything themselves, it's that they don't need to depend on people. (Well, most feminists, it's not as though every feminist shares the same ideology, as some people on this thread seem to think)

  • It depends on what sort of feminism. I also believe in feminist principles of absolute equality and I stop at that. But when it goes extreme, that is when I have a problem. A moderate feminist is certainly a turn on.

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  • Most definitely if you have to use any title other than egalitarian or just support freedom/equality for all without a title then you are just the flip-side of the bigots you oppose in my mind. I have yet to meet a feminist who at the bottom of the line is not a male basher. Live the life of a native American or homeless or mentally ill person for a day then tell me women have it the worst in life.

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  • hahahaha, such a good poll

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