Why do guys have issues with commitment?

I've recently had some issues with this guy and his commitment, he wanted sexual things before even being in a relationship, yet when confronted about it, said he wasn't ready.
He says he has feelings for me which i believe true. But i don't see why he has issues dating.
Also why do guys think sex and all thigns sexual are okay before being in a relationship and fairly early during a relationship?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Why do women have issues with commitment? Statistically speaking women initiate most divorces.

    "Here's the answer: A 2000 paper published in American Law and Economics Review by Margaret F. Brinig and Douglas W. Allen reported data (Table 1, p. 128) from several studies across the United States spanning more than 100 years (1867 to 1995) regarding the percentage of instances where the woman had filed for divorce. Based on the collected data, I calculated that women had initiated the divorce in 68.9% of all cases. In only one of 25 separate datasets were men the greater initiators of divorce."

    www.psychologytoday.com/.../do-men-or-women-file-divorce-more-often

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What Guys Said 6

  • You have found a casual dating guy. If you want relationship guy, you have to go find him. Hint: he'll probably move slower initially, which may cause you to ignore him.

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  • Because who really wants to commit when you know it probably won't work out anyways in the long-run? I'm not going to commit to a girl when I know it's only a short-term rental. However, everyone has time for sex.

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  • You've come to meet the very real power dynamic that women are the gatekeeper of sex while men are the gatekeeper of commitment.

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  • Lol I don't know he sounds more like good to me.

    I usually don't have "commitment issues" as long as chick is hot if its for fucking? Because then "guys" hardly can care of breaking that commitment if he don't care anymore lol

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  • Why do women have issues with sex without some kind of serious commitment?

    The answer to your question and mine is the same... men and women are different.

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    • because sex isn't something you just hand out to anyone. especially since men are notorious for "hitting it them quitting it".

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    • My point is that what you as a woman want/need and what most men want/need are at odds with each other. That's no mystery, and yet you are here asking why men behave the way they do as if they are somehow supposed to conform to your female notions of what is normal or right. You are no more normal or right them those men are. You are just different.

      The answer to your question: men do not have "issues with commitment". They just have different needs than you do. Thus the retort form some men: "why do women have issues with sex?". They don't they just have different needs.

      Get it?

    • And by the way, the whole "using women for sex" thing is just an extension of what I already said. It's not "using" if both participants are getting what they want, is it? A man and woman who want a one night stand both get exactly what they want out of a one night stand.

      Think about it. Why don't you see it as "using" when a man and woman are in a relationship and she's getting her commitment and emotional needs met while he is not getting his sexual needs met? It's no different except in the way you see it, and most women see it only from a female perspective. That's selfish and hypocritical.

  • Guys don't have a problem with commitment as such, any more than girls have a problem with sex. But that doesn't mean theyre gonna hand out commitment like there's no tomorow

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    • not saying guys have to hand out commitment but why are they so turned off by it and so scared of it (generally speaking of course) men are always wanting casual things, fwb, nothing that has a title or responsibilities.

    • if you go about it the right way, theyre not. guys want love and stability too

      but you know, for example, if i approach women and just ask them for sex, maybe after saying 'nice boobs!', how many do you think will say yes? i predict zero. in fact many would get angry or look scared. that doesn't mean women are scared and turned off by sex. i just went about it the wrong way

What Girls Said 4

  • My guess is that guys want sex, and that's pretty evident even if you read most of the GaG questions on a Friday night. They're always asking about sex, and what kind of penis is okay for us, more than they ask how to get a girlfriend or fall in love. So their priority when they see us, especially for young horned up ones, is how they can get us in bed. :) After that, I think they might be thinking of the next girl so this is why they are afraid to commit to just one. I think they have the wrong idea about what commitment really is, thinking we want marriage and a house and bills for them to pay. They want to have fun in their young years and not want to have to think about that just yet. When women want a commitment, what we're asking for is usually loyalty. We're all about fun too, but I think through movies and a lot of dramatic females and horror stories from their guy friends about their girlfriends or exes, a guy thinks that committing must mean their balls will be cut off. I think it takes that one girl who doesn't even breathe the word commitment who actually ends up getting it for being more understanding to what her guy wants and needs. :)

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  • all guys don't think that way. People who want a relationship try to make everyone commit to them. If someone isn't interested in dating, the leave them alone. Unless a guy rapes you he isn't forcing you to get sexually/emotionally involved. It is important to listen what a person says and read their actions.

    Its fine if a person doesn't want a relationship, it simply means that they aren't compatible with you. You don't have the right to vilify someone because they won't date you. There are plenty of men who want commitment and monogamy. If you can't find any, then you need to look at what you're doing wrong, or move to another area.

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    • i'm not trying to force him but it's just confusing how he says he's not ready for a relationship but then tries to act like we are, you know? He still wants to have sex and what not, and i just find it ridicoulous.
      If he didn't think we were compatible, he's the kind of guy who would tell me, he wouldn't lead me on this far. But i do see your point, and i have learned that an excepted that he's just not ready/doesn't want one whatever and i've moved on.

    • That is great news! If you want more than sex from a person, don't engage with them sexually (unless you want to) and expect monogamy. Regardless of how someone acts, always remember that if someone wants to be with you, they will move heaven and hell to do it.

  • They are all idiots

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  • It's almost like boys don't like to have to deal with relationships they think there 'hard work' but then when there not in relationships they want one, men are never happy!

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