How do men see single moms?

I am 22 & Im a single mom and my son is 8 months this friday. I am just wondering for your honest opinion what first comes to mind when you think about us.

Updates:
Elaborate why this makes us baggage. It sounds like you judge by not knowing the story.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Many guys in your immediate age range might not date you based on it, but that's okay because it just goes to show that they weren't right for you anyways.

    My opinion? I think that you can find a very good man that's compatible with you and would love to be with you; I really believe that. I just think that you need to do what every person does, which is to seek out someone special that sees you as the special person I'm sure you are. The rest will take care of itself. :-)

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What Guys Said 74

  • I don't judge the woman until I know her, and even then it isn't the fact she has a kid but her personality. While some guys will see it as baggage or instant family they don't want, others will know that things happen and don't always work out. As bad as my luck with women is I have met a woman with kids and she was beautiful, but I couldn't see myself with her even though she was interested in me. She had 5 kids from 4 guy, all 9 and under and her middle 2 sons were born 9.5 months apart with different fathers. This just didn't show much level of commitment and I didn't want to end up as father number 5 of kid 6. This doesn't mean that I'm against it, as a matter of fact the woman I like now has a kid, and the only reason I don't try is she just seems out of my league. When guys get older they might realize things like this and be more open about a relationship with single mothers. However, when they're younger in your age group they don't consider that they don't consider the child or even realize that the child will be apart of the relationship and would need to get along with them, too. If a guy doesn't realize this and can't understand that a kid will require attention and means that he will not be the single most important person in your life then he isn't the guy for you.

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  • Generally it depends on the age range of men you are dating. Younger guys are going to be totally freaked out by you having a child and not want to get near you. But they will also think that you are desperate and want a baby daddy. But this also translates into older men as well. Honestly many people do not think long term when it comes to dating, and when you involve a child things are a lot different. because the woman in this situation is going to want some sort of stability and also want to make sure that the guy she is dating is going to leave her high and dry for some girl who isn't a single mom.
    Generally if you stay picky and find a guy who is serious he will understand your situation and understand what goes into dating someone with a child. Depending on the situation with the babys father and such this can be an issue. some guys get really weird about people being on good terms with the other parent. I know that not all relationships end well, but some people find common ground in getting along for the sake of the child.
    Its not baggage, its about understanding how to deal with someone whose needs are not focused on just them. Some guys want their gf to be totally dedicated to them. You have a child and you are dedicated to your child first. Some people can't handle that.

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    • I agree. I do not get along with the father and after alll the shit his mother and he put my family through. I would never in the right mind trust a man like that again. But he is not even a man yet. The one who braggs to be a grown man is the one who is still the child. I was blindly in love and hoping that a child should bring the families closer but out of all the bad.. I have a beautiful son that i wouldn't change for anything. Emotionally and pysically its very hard but i am trying.
      I think understanding the background story is very important. A lot of people jump to conclusions way too fast. I've done that myself and i knw its wrong.
      I am not looking right now but if i were i would like the man to know what he is getting himself unto so no one gets hurt. Age is just a # but nowadays its hard to find a man who is 30 & thinks like a man not a child. If i wanted someone more mature... The age limit would be 36..

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    • Ouch. thats not good. Im sorry.

    • Maybe I shouldn't have said that. Im just going through a lot

  • This is going to vary greatly depending on the man.
    When I decided to start dating I had to decide what I felt about kids and how far back I want to go.
    I decided that anyone I date, if she had kids they need to be in the same age range as mine.
    I have already done the young kids. I dont have any desire to do it again. I certainly don't want a baby. but keep in mind I am much older then you and not in your dating range anyway.
    My kids are at the age where I can tell them... hey, I am going out... your on your own for dinner. and they can get in the freezer or fridge and figure out dinner for themselves. I like that freedom.
    If I was younger and in the age range where we might date? It would depend on if I really want a premade family. personally I would not be initially interested and I would not date anyone with a young child. But I can't say that if somehow we met and hit it off, that I would stop seeing you once I found out. I am just too old to really know how I would have felt about it. I met my ex wife when I was 20 and she was 17 and we were together 25 yrs.
    But there are men out there that don't have issues with that.

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    • I like that someone older has more to say. How old are you if i may ask?

    • i turned 46 Aug 20

    • Well happy belated birthday!! You aren't old. Dont they say a man only starts living at 40. Its this russian saying. My dad is 10 years older than you. So you are fairly in a good age.

  • I need to know more information. If all I know is that she's a single mom, I would have to ask why she is a single mom. Is her status because the guy just decided to bail after the child was born? Is it because she's divorced? Is it because the guy died? Is this her third child from three different fathers?

    I don't consider being a single mom because she is divorced or the guy died a problem at all. If the guy just bailed on her and she decided to have the child on her own, that might be a red flag to me, though not necessarily a deal breaker. I would want to know why she chose to have the child on her own. If she is against abortion, I respect that though it's not a position I agree with. If she is against abortion, I would want to know why she decided to keep the child and not put it up for adoption. Is she financially independent? Can she raise this child without government aid? Does she wish this child had a good father? If she feels that good fathers are unnecessary, then that's a deal breaker as we obviously have differences in child rearing that probably can never be bridged.

    If she has multiple children and is a single mother, unless she is divorced or the guy is dead then I believe that would be a deal breaker.

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    • I am not divorced. It iss a very long and hurtful story to me. I can say that i gave birth early due to how he stressed me out on the phone giving me bs reasons why he shouldn't sign the parernity. I was at risk for preterm labour but somehow it didn't hit him that ir was dangerous. Wait no he was on the phone with me before he came iver bc i tg
      Hought my water broke... In the morning they told me it dudnt. It was Sunday moening ND i asked him to stay and in front of the doctor he promised he would. The doctor didn't think i was going to give birth anytime soon.. I was 8 1/2 months pregnant. I was due at almost 10. But iknew ir was coming soon. I had a feelibg. We came home and took a nap only to have him leave at 6pm to get his mother from PA back to brooklyn, ny. I live about an hour and mins from brooklyn, ny. His mother has her own notary business it wasnr an emwrfency... So he broke his promise like a lot others he did while i was prwgnant. he left me in the bathroom so the tears

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    • @SandPlanet
      Well, that's as may be, SandPlanet. However, I'll be the first to admit I could be wrong and it may very well be my loss. If you met me in person, you'd probably say, "My God, he's a walking deal breaker himself!" ;-D

    • Why are you the deal breaker?

  • I see them as amazing and awesome and I just applaud them for being able to be a single mother. it is so difficult to be a single mother and I know of a few and they're just amazing woman! the hard work and effort they put and go through and coming out the other side in well shape is just incredible. I applaud you for being a single mother:)

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  • Full disclosure: I started dating a single mom and now we are married and I have a stepdaughter and 2 kids. I didn't look at her any different than any other women with the exception that she had her shit together and that rubbed off on me to grow up. I can't tell you enough how much my wife and stepdaughter have helped mold me into the man I am today

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    • Thats beautiful! I am glad there are some mature men out there. Sadly a lot of them are taken.

  • It's generally a drawback to any men without kids, and it can vary from being a mild drawback to an instant no.

    It won't change they're willingness to hook up (in fact they may suspect you're more open to it) but it will impact how likely they are to get serious.

    For guys who have kids, some may view it as a negative, some may view it as a mild plus, depending on how involved they are with their kids.

    Some guys have a very negative view of single moms, but for most, its just that they may not be ready to act like a dad, or if they ARE ready, they'd rather be a dad than a stepdad.

    Finally guys who don't care much, the presence of a child in your life means that things tend to either get serious or stay super casual.

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  • I've dated single moms with no problem. Didn't phase me at all. But I think a lot of guys get freaked out by the added responsibility that comes along with it. Dating a single mom is not JUST dating the mom. The child is a huge part of her life, and if you end up in a long term relationship with her then the child will become a huge part of yours as well. A lot of guys can't even handle the idea of raising a child of their own, let alone find themselves being responsible for raising the child of another man.

    Some guys are able to see past that. I did. I ended up growing to love those kids even though they weren't mine. I still care about them now, and their mom and I broke up years ago. I still see them from time to time and care about what they are doing. But it's a lot more responsibility, and it definitely takes a guy with some more maturity to deal with it.

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    • Thank you for your input. I am glad you are mature enough to take that responsibility. How did kids act towards you?

    • Great, actually. Their dad was an asshole - he had a drug addiction problem, so generally when he would show up to visit, he would literally steal some of their stuff and then sell it at the pawn shop. In complete contrast, I was a university student from the suburbs. So I was by far the most stable male role model they had in their life for a long time. I was consistent with them, which they appreciated. If I said no, I meant it, and they knew that. If I promised something, I followed through on it. Both of which were things they were not used to.

      They all turned out to be really good people, and I am glad I was a part of that.

    • This makes me happy.

  • I don't see them any way (though, I usually assume mothers with child are taken, so I take that into consideration when flirting, pursuing), except it's not a lifestyle I can entirely relate to. There's too many variables to even make a judgement in terms of dating them. If I have a genuine connection with someone, I don't take it for granted, in spite of her supposedly off-putting characteristics (as if I, or indeed any of the other cynical men commenting here, have none). I just take things as they come in general.

    Older men, and people with a bit more life experience, might be more accepting in general. Sometimes, men, or indeed, boys, between the ages of 18-25, can be rather self absorbed. The same applies to women of course. And this is a generalisation.

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  • I assume you meant for romantic purposes. Maybe not, but that's where i'll come from. I dated a single mom when i was 22 and she was 34. There is no blanket evaluation of you guys, but overall any guy who does date you has to be clear as to what you expect in terms of marriage and fatherhood. I know you can feel very sincerely that 'it's all just for fun', and you do believe this will not enter your thinking, but the maternal instinct dictates that you are always putting the welfare of your child first and foremost.

    My single mom was alluring, looked great in a bikini, etc. We had many afternoon trysts and yes it was fun. But slowly i felt criticism whenever i exercised the freedom i experienced when i first met her. There were demands beyond reason, and total inconsideration of any of my lifestage dilemmas. In short, she grew talons overnight.

    Of course i know that can happen in any relationship, but i've been through the clinginess since with childless women, and somehow that was much more intense and frightening. It even led to a short phase of her stalking me, but i did not get the police involved and it resolved itself.

    Any way, if this IS about dating, make sure you are clear on what you expect and make sure he knows exactly what that is or isn't.

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  • I've tried to date single moms. It never got anywhere. I know of maybe 1-2 who had their shit together. I'd give them a chance online and decide not to meet them within a few convos.

    One immediately messaged me ranting about how she wants to take her ex to court blah blah blah.

    One was ok and showed some ex-boyfriend resentment but that was it.

    Another one I talked on the phone with was drunk both times I suspect and was telling me all these tricks she was gonna try with the court to obtain full custody.

    One at my second job would schedule dates and then ignore me and then would sleep around with guys telling me later how they weren't talking to her and how she had feelings for them after barely knowing them and just sleeping with them. She now just had a second kid and doesn't even know where the first one's dad is.

    I was gonna hook up with another one but she couldn't fit in time to meet me with her job and kid and all.

    So yea... I pretty much avoid them altogether now as I just prefer a life without them involved and would much rather meet a girl who has absolutely no contact with her exes. I just can't deal with it. There are some like I mentioned who are just stuck in those positions, but many are really screwed up. Granted there are girls who are just as annoying as those single moms with ex-baggage just by being dramatic.. the likelihood is just higher when it's a single mom.

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  • I always judge it on a case by case basis. If she is a woman just living her life. Taking care of business. Work. Kid and bills, without complaining or asking for handouts from anyone including the government. I completely respect and find attractive because she's got her shit together.

    I'd be thinking I don't want an exclusive relationship with her at least not right away because a kid changes alot. How much time she could spend with me. Whether or not she wants me in the kids life. Is she looking for a new father for her child or is she just trying it out to see what happens.

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  • I can't have opinion without knowing her story it's not up to my to judge on her private life. It wouldn't stop me from getting to know her or have a relationship with her.
    You can't say all single mums are the same be it Good or bad.
    As long as you're both happy that's all that matters.
    Hope you both enjoy his birthday.

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    • Thank you so much! If you want to know some part of the story, read @bluemax 's opinion somewhere lower and read my comments to it. Just a littke insight.
      Thanks agian!

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    • Stay strong.

    • Thank you very much!

  • This might just be me but if you didn't tell me that you were a single mom off the bat and we started dating and I liked you enough I wouldn't run the other way since your son is only 8 months old and I would be helping to raise him from the start instead of when they are older. But if your kid was a lot older it might be different. And of course you would have to be open to having at least 1 more kid with me. I want to have 2-3 kids max so it could definitely work out.

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    • i also want 2 kids. Maybe 3 if i can do it. I actually want my son to have a sister in 4-7 years from now. Obv i can't plan that way ahead. Time will tell.

  • I wouldn't date a single mother. I, of course, would hope the best for them and the child but, for me, the situation would never come to materialize once that information was discovered. I know this isn't something you want to hear and I apologize for that but you did ask for honest statements.

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    • Well at least you aren't being mean about it.

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    • @teloivrestkez I should also say that, in my opinion, this current time period is going to be the most important time period you have and will ever face. What you decide and what you do over the next 2-3 years will not only echo throughout your life but will undoubtedly echo throughout your child's.

      Every past desire, every past though and all therein needs to be thrown to the wind and replaced with one overriding thought: What is best for my son. You currently have your looks, you are on your way to becoming educated. However, as time flies so too will your son age. I bring this up because the sooner you can find a successful and secure man who not only cares about you/your son but also sees you both as his "family" the better. As you age the chances will spiral lower and lower all while your son is forced to live w/o that 2nd influence (which is a huge deal). My suggestion: do your very best to focus now and not tomorrow.

    • Thank you for your wonderful insight.

      I agree and I am so glad I asked this question because I met some interesting people on here that give some great advice and then there are others. ..

      I think I should focus more on betterinh myself first for my son so that I dont randomly become angry (as that jas been happening often) & then just continue my education.

      I am rooting to graduate in the spring.. with my associates.. and its funny it took me two years and a semester and to be a single mom in order to get financial aid... crazy then I want to transfer to a nearby school for early childhood education. Perhaps when I will be pursuing my bachelors would be a good time to let people in a little closer. I am not ready now and I also want to learn not to wear my heart on my sleeve.

      As my dad says let god take care of the situation and that I nees to let things go.

  • not much different form any other girls except for the little pity part cauze raising a kid with two parents is a tough one but raising a kid by your own is a hell of a fight so keep up the good work and may God be with you.
    P. S: congrates for the kid :D

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    • Thank you so much! God bless you for the kindness. I think a lot of men are just scared to take the risk of raising another so called man's child... I find those men just not ready for a real life commitment. Thank yiu again.

    • Not at all... and never mind those guys focus in your kid (as I'm sure you don't need me to say it) and the right one will come sooner or later

    • A woman that voted you down must be nuts! Thanks again and i know

  • I respect single moms. I know how it is being raised by one and it takes a lot out of a person. It's great to see a woman who is independent yet still a great nurturer. I wouldn't mind dating one.

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    • I wrote you a responsr too but it deleted itself. My sons father was also raised by a single mother yet they still decuded to put me through hell. Thank you

  • Now I am 34 I would not consider it baggage at all, but trying to out myself into the mindset of a 22 year old guy again I would have to say it is probably scary for them. A boy of that age will probably ask himself, what does she want from me? Where does the child's father fit into this scenario? Will this girl just want to settle down straightaway or can we still have fun? How much interest should I show in the baby?

    This might seem all rather trivial and silly, but questions like these can cause havoc in the mind of an inexperienced and emotionally fragile boy. Other concerns guys may have is that you will cancel a simple coffee date because you can't get a babysitter or something.

    On the flip side, girls with kids can be awesome. I had a relationship (still good friends) with a single mum I met in Canada. Her boys were 11 & 13. I took them to Planet Laser, bowling and all sorts of other fun stuff that normally I'd be too old to do on my own. Then I'd load them up with sugar and caffeine before going to see a really awful movie. Then at about 9pm when the kids were acting up and misbehaving as a result of the aforementioned sugar kicks, I would take them back to their mother and let her sort out the mess.

    It's not all negative.

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    • Why does it say you are under 18?

      Well you had a good experience then. I understand that most 22 year old guys aren't ready but what about those that are 30

    • Don't know about the age thing; I need to email someone about that. I can only speak for myself, and maybe the two or three guys who are my closest friends, but I would say it is simply that a girl or woman with a child is no longer so scary partly because I am more mature than I was 10 years a go and also because what I want from a relationship has changed and a child perhaps encapsulates that desire whereas 10 years ago the child probably encapsulated the opposite of what I wanted.

    • Which is very understandable. With age people should technically mature and i am glad that you are not against single women with children.

  • Truth? Honestly as I am 23 and don't plan to have children to my 30s, I am instantly turned off by the thought of a girl my age having a child. To me it either indicates irresponsible behaviour by part of both parents not using contraception or a life decision by the parents which are not compatible with what I want. I want to experience life before I have children, but also get my finances in a place where I would be able provide a good quality of life, most 20 year olds cannot. This is the honest answer which you might not have wanted to hear.

    Though while children at this age are not compatible with what I want, it does not go to say that there are other guys out there who don't have an issue with it, or may even embrace the idea.

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  • The #1 thing guys worry about is the baby's father, not the child.

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    • I understand that but maybe they are also the ones that can put some knowledge in his head.

    • Trust me... any guy that u date would prefer to interact with ur baby's father as little as humanly possible.

      The idea of getting the baby's dad and ur current boyfriend to "play nice" will cause relationship destruction 95% of the time.

      At most any guy u date will tolerate ur baby's father until he leaves.

    • I know that and that is not wjat o meant.

  • Hm, what would I think... okay.

    A - In this day and age, you most likely got with the wrong guy and had a baby, and he decided to run out. HOWEVER, this is not always the case. The father could have died in an accident or a myriad of things could have happened to leave you a single mom.

    B - I would not get involved. People are difficult enough to deal with, let alone dealing with an adult, AND a baby.

    Those are my thoughts, I would take them with a grain of salt though, I don't generally bother with society or people.

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    • Its rather sad to know that the guy that you thought was the one turned around andbetrayed you like that.

  • Personally, I probably wouldn't date a single mother at this time of my life. That isn't me being judgemental, I say good luck to all the single parents out there, it's obviously not easy for them. However, I am just not ready to take on that fatherly role yet. I don't think I even want kids of my own (though I could change my mind), let alone take on somebody else's.

    I would also be worried that she was looking for a human ATM, especially if she wasn't so well off like a lot of single mothers and the father was absent. Not that I'm tarring anyone with the same brush.

    I would definitely consider it a little further down the line though. Say in five years time when I will be approaching 30, and I was really smitten with her, then I would be more open to the idea because at that stage I would have already enjoyed so many years being relatively carefree.

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    • A lot of guys in your age group aren't for it and its understandable when they give a good reason

    • Yeah, most guys in their twenties just want to enjoy life without too many responsibilities for a bit. But once they have past that stage, they start to broaden their horizons somewhat.

    • I agree but then there are some who surprise you.

  • I wouldn't date one that had more than one kid. But as long as she has good character and knows that her child comes first, then I could date one.

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  • It's not nice but true and sad your not baggage your child is. Guys of your age want fun and little or no commitments. You will find someone who will be happy with you both.

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    • A child is not baggage. But thank you and I am not looking for anyone my age. Thanks

    • A child is baggage to an outsider. It is a massive financial, emotional, and time commitment on the male who wants to get serious with you. For many men, both good and bad guys, already having a kid (s) is a huge turn off. A single woman without kids and of similar age can offer the same without the extra commitment required with a single mother. Another huge turn off is the thought of using hard earned resources on some one else's blood and not your own. There will be men out there for you, but they will be a lower quality of man than if you did not have a child. That's just life.

    • What do you mean lower quality?

  • At my age and life situatuion? As a really bad idea to get involved with. You should avoid her at all costs.

    If I was older and more financially secure, I would be okay with it.

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    • Which is the right thing. Standing up for a single mom is tough work and i understand that at acertain age a guy may not be ready because he still needs to put his life on track and i agree with you. Well hopefully one day if you are older and yiu meet this amazing woman for you dont push her away bc she is a single mom.

  • Well there's always will be baggage with any woman or man. But single mom's baggage (s) will always have something to do with her interaction with her baby dad. If you don't have interaction with your baby dad then you should be good but if you like hang out with your baby dad every weekend, even if it because of your child, it's a turn off for men. You look gorgeous and you seem like a reasonably well mannered woman so finding a boyfriend shouldn't be a problem for you :)

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    • Thank you for the compliment! I don't want just a bf.. I want a real man and obviously not righy now. But I understand what you are saying. In my case I really want nothing to do with him

    • Yea it's not really that hard to find a real one but it's near impossible to find the right one :|

    • As the saying goes god is just saving me for someone special. paitence is the key.

  • Its tough. I dont have a problem with it , but there are all kinds of factors I have to consider. Many people think that all single mothers are looking for someone to father their children and thats simply not true. It is hard because I find myself wanting to participate, but not over-step my bounds. A lot more thought has to go into that kind of relationship.

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  • If they have custody of the child, then something probably went wrong with the father. If the father is in custody of the child, then there is probably something wrong with the mother. She would have to have really regretted her actions and become a better person for me to consider her. But I would give her a chance.

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  • To me it doesn't really matter as long as you are financially stable and don't need me for money. I hate gold diggers.

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  • Honestly. I'm usually in awe of single moms. Simple as that

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 14

  • A young single mom usually means immature behavior and poor choices were made.

    I don't think of a single mom as a slut like many others do, but I do believe they aren't as bright as they ought to be.

    Choosing to have an accidental child when you're not at all prepared for it both emotionally and financially is foolish.

    Also, having unplanned children adds to the population problem as well as sucks the welfare system dry.

    I only have respect for a single mother, if she is capable of taking care of herself and the child on her own instead of expecting handouts from the government.

    You need a license to drive a car, but not to be a parent. Parenting is fundamentally more difficult and complicated, than driving a car.
    You can't traumatize a car with poor parenting/ownership skills.

    People need to learn to be able to take care of themselves before they venture to bring new life into this world.

    This also covers divorced people. Marriage is not a bandwagon, but many jump into it after knowing their partner for a minimal time, then split 1-3 years later because they weren't compatible. Should have figured that out before getting hitched and reproducing.
    If the marriage fell apart +10 years down the line, then it's understandable - people grow apart over time.

    But in most cases single parents are the result of poor decisions made by teenagers, who think they're adults.

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    • Have I told you... lately... that I love you... (in his best singing voice).

      BS aside: Great answer my friend.

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    • Yes, Asker. I'm aware that she does not represent most single mums. She does not represent you. However she's not the only one, at least in the region I live in. We have the highest teen pregnancies in the country (not the world). How many teen mums do you see who struggle because they just weren't ready? So, no she isn't 1 in 1,000. Her career is yes, her situation, not really.
      I'm guessing the reason you asked this question is because you are a single mum who does a good job but haven't had luck with men, or feel you are judged by society because you're a young mum. I never said this one person was similar to you. Although I'd like to say, she is a good mum; despite her boy being 4 months early he's now 6 years old and going to school. I'd like her to stop nude modelling. I've no issue with young mothers, if they're ready and can support the child; mums who have children so they can get more money from the government, no. You don't sound to be one of those so fair play.

    • 4 months early? That's crazy! But im glaf the boy is fine. Where are you from?

      I dont know any teem moms personally. All the moms I know gave birth either at 19 or im their 20s.

      Yes, being a teem mom is irresponsible act. And it sucks what the society teaches young adults today

      I actually do not have job because I had to stay and take care of my son but I will wwhile im in school

  • I would like to say that I personally do not feel that having a child is considered baggage. A child is a blessing not a burden and that is what baggage is emotional burdens from your past-things that can likely be changed if you just let go. I know plenty of people with baggage that have no kids and single mothers/fathers without baggage as well. It's an emotional thing that affects relationships. Immature people see a child as baggage instead of saying that they don't want the responsibility of taking care of a child that isn't theirs that is a better way to put it. I have dated a man with kids before. Did he have baggage? Yes, but his kids were not his baggage. His inability to commit, and pain from previous relationships causing him to not be able to trust and love was his baggage. Not every parent is hung up on who they have a child for. When you find a mature man he will not be afraid to the both and you and will accept you and you child, he won't have a problem accepting the role of a father figure if needed. Little boys are intimidated by single mothers because they are still spending on theirs. Not all guys are like that some just want to start their own family. A grown ass man that shows interest in you may even be intrigued to know that you are a mother. I hope you find someone one day and don't let any guy on here make you feel bad and think that a guy won't accept you and your child.

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    • I meant depending on

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    • Lol I said you're welcome in one of the many ways to say it in french. No he does not realize it his mother does no wrong in his eyes. Maybe after a lot more failed relationships he may realize when more girls complain that it it her but at his age he should be his own man and make his own decisions anyway. I'm not close with my parents either. I have been with a mama's boy before he had a lot of respect for her and women but he was not the stereotypical mama's boy his mom was never in our business and he never dealt with jealousy so not all of them are like that but I understand the creepiness. Lonely old women never let go of their sons they are afraid that they will get married and won't be the number 1 woman in their life but once you have a child of your own your child should be your priority not your mom. I hope he grows up and takes care of his responsibility and that his mom lets him be.

    • I heard her once say not really voicing it but how bc she was a single mother in a way she wants me to suffer too. She is reakky terrible and yes i agree not all mamas boys are bad though i onle been with one. This guy i dated when i was 16/17.. He wasn't too close with his mother but she made him do everything for her and he was 21/22 but she treated him like crap.. And still does.. Sadly the guy got deported for his poor choices but also because she had a favourite son she didn't bother to make my ex a citizen and his green card expired and all that. So i dont kniw if this guy was really a mamasboy.. a little off topic but i still wanted to share

  • I used to be a single mother with one child which I had when I was 17 . the father got on drugs and was cheating on me and left me as soon as he found out yeah lovely someone I dated for four years and just walked out. however, I found my husband when I was 19 but we didn't date until I was 21 he loves my child as his own we married when I was 22 and he was 20 been now we have a child together also. So yes it is possible u just have to find the right person

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  • if a guy has ANY negative feelings at all about you being a single mom, then you dont need to entertain him!!! there are plenty of men out there who would love to have a child whether or not its his. if a guy sees a baby as baggage then he needs to be put in a bag and thrown out in the trash for the next morning. seriously. and if he has any doubts about the baby daddy, then he also need to leave bc of that, bc the baby daddy is your issue, or your personal life, not his. he doesn't need to be worrying about that and he shouldn't have any business or opinion on that matter.

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  • I'm a single mom myself. If you need any specific advice, feel free to PM me. =)

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    • Ill take you up on that offer. Thank you. Single moms should stick together.

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    • @ Asker:
      Thanks!

    • @sandplanet when I was speaking to you on higher posts.. I didn't realise this was you.

  • get another bf soon

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  • You remind me so much of this girl named Britney (one of my counsin's friends). I hope you're not her! She was also left by her boyfriend when she was pregnant. He was around your ex's age. It was really dumb of him. I hope they got back with each other or something though for the sake of the baby.

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  • I think it depends on the age of the girl.

    A woman who's had a child in her teens, it comes across as "you were silly, you should have waited until you were stable" - and it's not being harsh but the majority of teens aren't ready for children. They haven't lived their lives a little bit, and I think that's important.

    A woman of your age, my boyfriend always disregarded them on dating websites because he didn't want to be step in daddy. He wanted to live his life and he wasn't ready for a child. "I chose not to have a child, I don't want to inherit one" which I think is fair enough. He wants to be financially ready and I think he would want to share genetics with a child.

    A woman who's say 40s, it's reasonable she's had children and her relationship may have just failed. After all, in an ideal world, you meet someone, you spend time together, you progess further, you have children, maybe more than one, and then stress, life gets in the way and you fail.

    This isn't a golden rule though, I mean there are many men out there who would be willing to take it on. But this is just an idea of why one wouldn't.

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  • My friend is a single mom but her situation is different than yours she is 22 and she has been divorced for over a year and she has a nanny for her kids and she has a bf now. Before she was dating a different guy. But this guy has a daughter he is a single dad

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  • Whoa whoa guys. It takes a boy to create a child but a man to bring one up. I have a child, i have a wonderful partner who also loves me for who i am but also my son. I think any guy who has balls to look after someone elses child is a man sent from god.

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  • I really like this question. I'm a single mom too.

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  • nicequestion

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  • Actually, it's a tough job being a single mother but why are you single? What happend to the babies dad? Why did you have kids so early? Well, maybe not too early but still... I guess as long as you can support them financially.

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    • I had him when i was 21. I think that is a fairly good age to have your first child. I was planning on settling down and getting married. It is a fairly long story that still really hurts. Lets just say i difnt know whar it was like to hate until my sons father and his f**** mother put me and my family through hell. They are voulchers. And about financially well i live on my own but my parents support me and im still in college.

  • A burden, with a pesky attachment. Unless the man had a vasectomy why should they bother looking after a child that is not theirs. Most men wouldn't date a single mom unless the ex-boyfriend was dead, or miles away. Too much baggage.

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    • So are you saying that if the guy found this amazing woman and then he found out she has a kid.. He should break it off? What would you do if you were the single mom?

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