Why don't women make the first move?

there are more than men in the world?

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I swear if every guy in the world stopped nothing would happen

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Amen brother!

    Ladies, ask us out. We won't think you're desperate or a slut or any of that other garbage! It's nonsense.

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What Girls Said 22

  • Cause we are pussies who are scared of being rejected, why do you think? And society has made it acceptable for us to just kinda wait for the men to come. I would say that women should approach guys too, but that makes me a hypocrite because I myself don't have the balls to do it :P

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  • Some women do make the first move, some drop painfully obvious hints, and some are deathly afraid of getting a harsh rejection from a dude. I told my friend that I liked him and he was a little awkward about it. He didn't like me back, but he didn't completely shit on me. My sister had to ask out two out of three of her boyfriends and she constantly talks about how she's the guy in the relationship. I guess it depends on how much of an asshole you come off as. The kinder and more mature you are, the more I'm likely to tell you that I like you.

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  • We do? Most girls don't because of preconceived ideas and values on what a relationship should be though.

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  • Most women are taught to hold the aggression from an early age. The older a woman gets the more sexual aggressive she'll become. I used to wait for guy to ask me out in high school because I wanted to be desired, not desperate. But as I got into college it was more common to be a sexually aggressive woman. I enjoy being sexually aggressive and going for the kill. I scope and shoot. The real desire is when you have an adult man begging to please you not begging to have a cup of coffee and a conversation.

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  • I agree with TheNewClassic it makes us seem easy, I've approached guys in the past some were not that bad but I feel like some guys have the mind-set that women who approach men are desperate/ unwanted.

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    • Amen - sometimes even when you have been seeing them for three months they still don't like it. Idiots need to crap or get off the pot.

  • Fear of rejection... Personally

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  • I do.
    So... generalizations are idiotic.

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    • eh that's why i don't read the paper or post anything on places like this where you have to generalize otherwise there is no debate

  • Honestly it's just want we've been taught by society. All my life I've been told that guys ask girls out and all that. Some of us are just too shy to go up to a guy. Some of us are too afraid of rejection

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  • I supposed because men will think of her as being desperate or easy, fear of rejection too. Id never done it, is not in me.

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  • well, first move is what makes you a man, I mean its your job.
    Women feels shy, and besides its much better and nicer when men make the first move

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  • I personally have super low self confidence and I would want to make the first move but i am deathly afraid of rejection. I personally feel that nervousness of failure along with the need to feel desired is the reason. But i know many of my friends made the first move with their boyfriends. if i knew for certain that the guy liked me i would make the first move.

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  • because women can't handle rejection as well as a man can. we aren't built that way. that is not to say that woman don't make the first move. It's just a lot harder for her. She has to be very brave.

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  • There's lots of answers to that question. Fear of rejection, nerves, and for some women (like me) want a man to make the first move because it's the manly thing to do. I want a guy who takes control. Also, when you ask a girl out, when you pick her up, don't ask, "So, what do you want to do?" its the absolute WORST! have something planned. dinner, walk in a park, drinks... something.

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    • It's a mine field, some women now hate this

    • You're right... some women do but If she's not making a move and you want to see if the 2 of you could become something more, decide if she's worth the risk of getting rejected or changing a friendship... if so, then go for it

  • men have to show that they want to be with us

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  • We seem easy and desperate if we approached a guy. And being rejected sucks too.

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  • same issues as guys - afraid of rejection nervous shy

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  • no cuz we give u guys the chance to be a man

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    • You say that put if we make a womanly styreotype i bet u would rage.

  • Women are told to try to ignore their sexual instincts and to date guys for being nice or stable or good providers. We're told that attractive guys will just be jerks and we're horrible people and deserve to be used if we ever want to date for attraction.

    Guys approach out of sexual attraction. If you can't approach who you're naturally interested in, why bother?

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    • Then guys are taught to be stable and good providers. SO? Do you

    • Would you approach because a girl is a good cook? Most guys go for what really motivates us as humans.

    • I do like Indian food when they make it like my auntie used

  • Because we can, why else.

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    • Show All
    • Coming up with the hooks

    • That's the worst thing lol, they've got to think of things to say that a zillion other guys haven't already said and will make her feel good or something.

  • We don't like to be Yelled slut , afraid of rejection

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  • I do. I told a few guy I like them and have asked for their number. It's no big deal but their are some guys I'm not so upfront with. It just depends on the situation. If I feel as though I can't be straight up then I will try and let them know in other ways.

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  • I personally don't make moves first. I guess I'm afraid of being thought of as fast?

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What Guys Said 16

  • Plenty of reasons.

    Biggest one is scared of being rejected and/or "coming off desperate."

    Other reasons include:

    Narcissism- The girl wants to be the center of attention. It's all about her.

    Ego issues: She wants to be the one interested in and can't stand the thought of showing interest in another person. She lacks any substance or personality basically. So she needs to be held by the hand. Reject these types of girls for a good laugh and even if they were not interested in you... holy shit will there be drama.

    Desire of "old fashioned" benefits/priviledges- Likes to "use the system" for self gain.

    She has little to no social skills at all- She doesn't know what to say and is so boring and shy that she'd piss her pants if she had to approach the guy.

    She lacks any ambition or motivation to get what she wants in life- If you get stuck with a girl like this prepare to be her father and not her boyfriend.

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  • I don't think there's a good answer to why women don't. At least not one I've found yet, anyways.

    Just some ridiculous notions that women are somehow more sensitive to rejection, or guys universally like to be the ones doing the approaching.
    A lot less people would be single if more women made the same effort men are expected to. Guys like to feel desired, too.

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  • lol the last thing women want to do is put themselves out there, dont get me wrong i have ran into a few that are very bold and will initiate but the majority dont even bother to try... what girls normally do is drop very subtle hints... hints that nobody ever notices lol

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  • because they usually don't have to. Many men are happy to make the first move. Indeed many women are attractive to assertive men, and a guy who makes the first move is demonstrating his powers of assertion.

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  • I've had plenty of women make the first move.. I've had women be way too aggressive with me especially when they're drunk. The girl I'm talking to initiated conversation with me first.

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  • because of this ultra-stupid stereotype that men are the hunters... ewwww bullshit i say

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  • Because they've always been told that it's the man's job to pursue. Plus like men they fear rejection, they're shy, they're nervous around the guys that they like and so this is why many women do not approach and the one's that have approached have tales of men rejecting them because those men saw them as being 'too forward'.

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  • Haha, I wish they would, especially as I can be shy when it comes to girls I like. There is an unwritten social code that the guy should be the one to ask a girl on the first date ect, but I think this is starting to change slightly.

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    • BUT even with the net they never do

    • I have met girls online who make the first move in being inappropriate, though I admit that it is still often the guy who ends up making the first move.

    • Actually some do, at least in my case.

  • Because we live in a society in which we are conditioned into thinking it should be men doing the "chasing", basically.

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  • women generally lack that kind of courage. That's why we men are #1

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  • Because men are more brave than women.

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  • Because they want the guy to make a fool of himself.

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    • I swear if every guy in the world stopped nothing would happen

  • Society, no other reason.

    I think it's a gender role, and they're subjective as we all know.

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  • because of this it makes me jealous and envious of women since they are valued for their youth more it means they are less likely to be late bloomers in dating

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  • Hypocrisy.
    "Equality equality equality !!"
    "ok you got equality, maybe you should do the asking"
    "err... yeah equality EXCEPT that"

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  • Because patriarchy and gender roles. Women are supposed to be submissive and wait for men to come to them. A woman approaching a man? Ridiculous. Know your place, females.

    That sort of bullshit.

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    • Lol this kinda old fashioned opinions always come from bitter sweet Creeps old man ew

    • You know you place treat lady with their equal right asshole grown man

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