Dating: 6 Months Long Distance: 2HRS Visit: Weekends and some Weeknights
My partner constantly calls me out, accusing me of not loving her, caring about her or paying attention to her if I do not call or text all the time. In the beginning this was not an issue, I called and texted as I normally would do. It was not until recently that she began doing this.
Her: "Why didn't you answer my call"
Me: "I just got to the party and was about to call you."
Her: "So, you think you can just call me when it's convenient for you? You could have called on the way over!"
Me: "I'm sorry. It's late, so I wanted to catch you when you were about to go to bed."
Me: "Hey, babe. Just calling to say I'm at work, how are you?"
Her: "I'm fine. Just a bit sick from last night."
Me: "I wish I was there with you. Get well and rest. I'll talk to you later."
Her: "Uhhm.. Okay. Bye!"
Her: "I don't understand. I'm sick, and you can't even spend 5 minutes on the phone with me."
Me: "I told you that I was just getting to work."
She says that I do not communicate well, and when I do not call, miss a call, or text her, she accuses me of not loving her, or not giving her enough attention. I am constantly left feeling like the bad guy and having to apologize for something that I didn't do. This has been very painful. I love her very much and I show her in every way, intimately, emotionally, when we are together, but she tells me she doesn't believe me "because otherwise, you would text me." I have been in relationships that lasted two years, and I've never experienced this before.
Is she being insecure and irrational? I know that I do not intentionally miss her calls or ignore her!
Is this immature of her to treat me this way?
Do I need to leave her?
Most Helpful Guy
"Is she being insecure and irrational?" -
Yes. And while the distance doesn't help, from the sound of her, she would do this even if you lived with her and saw her every night.
"Is this immature of her to treat me this way?" -
No. I caution people to be careful with the word immature, it is all to commonly a go-to for what people don't understand, or dislike. A lot of judgement tied to the term. She sounds more neurotic than anything.
"Do I need to leave her?" -
Generally, unless things are so bad between a couple that they fall into an "abusive" category I hate to tell someone to just break it off. However, it's one way to remedy your plight.
Ask yourself how much this girl truly means to you, then you will have your answer.2