When starting to date someone new, what kinds of things do you think people can do "too soon"?

I mean, obviously there are things like saying "I love you", but what about, say... Admitting stuff like depression, self harm, or an anxiety disorder?
How soon is soon to soon to discuss that stuff?
What other things should wait until you've dated for a while?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Saying i love you , try giving kiss, talking too sexy
    (I think them things can scare a girl / guy off )
    I think no one should be judged if they suffer from
    Anxiety, Depression , Self harm and i never had
    sex with my ex-girlfriends

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What Guys Said 1

  • Admitting problems is one way that you get to know eachother better and form a strong, lasting relationship. Ease on through at first; don't drop it on him. It's his job to care when you're ready, and there is nothing you should wait to do since he is your current potential life partner. Treat him with love, respect, and trust, and nothing you do should require a period of waiting. However, as long as you're seeing each other every day, I suggest waiting a month at least before dropping HEAVY stuff on hime. You want him to know what he's getting into out of common courtesy, and a month is short enough for him to back out without anyone's heart being broken. The one thing you should DEFINITELY wait for is sex. You should wait to have sex until after you're married.

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    • Plus, depression and anxiety are small pickings when it comes to a relationship. Not only can they be cured with love and a sense of security, but most people have those conditions. If he doesn't find out that you have these problems by the way you act, he probably won't think of them as damaging to the relationship.

    • Well he may not have realized it, but I do feel that my anxiety is preventing me from becoming completely comfortable with him, and with being myself. Though perhaps that's caused by my withholding the fact that I deal with anxiety, if that makes any sense.

    • It does make sense, and you have answered your own question. You can prevent the relationship from moving on by holding back what you think is a potential harm to him. I can't predict what telling him will do, but it will make your anxiety feel better. If he doesn't accept you with loving arms, than he doesn't deserve to work through your phase because of his lack of loyalty. The only thing I might add is that, should he accept you, DO NOT change the way you act unless it's for the better. That is what might deter him.

What Girls Said 2

  • Sex should wait for a while

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  • Revealing too much of your past is always a bad idea because you are going to scare them away. They will judge you based on what they know. They will end up knowing too much bad too soon.

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    • See that's definitely one way of looking at it. But on the other side of things, is it not better to let them know early on the kinds of things you've gone through that shape who you are? Early on so that if it "scares him away" you'll know that he wouldn't have been worth your time anyway, and you'd both end up less hurt.

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