My boyfriend can't stand me smoking, or doing drugs?

My boyfriend is sorta a redneck and I'm more of a hippie I love him so much but he hates drugs and I love them. I have tried talking to him about it and he just gets pissed and tells me he will break up with me if I don't quit. I don't want him to leave me but I wanna live my own life the way I choose.

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What should I do?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Honestly if your bf wants you to stop doing drugs and smoking then he might be thinking long term. You sound like you are stuck in the here and now, while he is thinking long term. Honestly there is a reason that long term drug use is not a good idea. You are trying to convince him that its ok to add chemicals to your body and not be in control of yourself. Im sure you think its a freedom of some sort. Honestly Im in the same boat as your bf, if Im dating someone and i find out they do drugs, (marijuana the exception, but there is a difference between smoking every so often and being a stoner) Im out. I dont want that around me, and if this person is someone Im going to spend my life with and have a family, I dont want it around my kids either.

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    • I understand now, I was thinking long term as we'll. I just let my immaturity get the best of me I have been completely sober for a few months now and we are still together.

What Guys Said 6

  • end it.

    Smoking says you will always follow and never be a leader. Drugs means you will bring into his life people and a life style he does not desire. He as possibly seen what drugs and smoking does to people.

    Think about it, the life together is over.

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  • His feelings are perfectly valid. As our yours, of course. But the point is that you clearly care about him less than you care about your lifestyle or this wouldn't be a question. I would imagine that you care about him somewhat, as you as asking advice about it, but if you were serious about him then you would have quit already. Love is about putting another person's needs above your own, and that is clearly not happening here. Chemical attractions, sure. Some NRE perhaps (new relation energy). But clearly not a mature love.

    If you think you are going to continue to live a party lifestyle then it is definitely going to be better for both of you to split up now. It will always be a source of friction in the relationship.

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  • well I think you need to decide what is more important. the bf or your lifestyle. I think at your age you should consider if this is the guy you are going to be with for the long haul or if you are willing to give up something that is important to you for him

    but a good general rule is to always remember that your partner should love you for you and shouldn't demand changes to your life unless they are detrimental to your life

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  • It's not meant to be...

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  • This relationship obviously isn't going to work out, break up now and save both of yourselves some time.

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  • This is not a good direction for either of you. Drugs never lead to any type of progress in a persons life. Why do that to yourself? I used before. There is so much beauty outside of using. You have a wonderful man by your side, forget the drugs, sort your priorities out! He will respect you for it and even support you!

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What Girls Said 2

  • They're bad for health anyways plus you're putting him at harm to unless you don't smoke when he's around. Why don't you just drop them

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  • I understand his perspective. I too am put off by smoking and drugs. it's not part of my lifestyle. you guys are incompatible and you are no more capable of convincing him to see your way by talking to him about it as he is capable of convincing you. It's one of his boundaries, and he won't put up with it. That's his prerogative. You have the choice to smoke/do drugs or not. he has the choice to leave you or not.

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