My boyfriend never has me over to his house after 4 months of dating?

Recently my boyfriend now x boyfriend as of today broke up with me and that hurt. I had my doors open to him at my house all the time for past 3 months of dating (together for 4 mos). I cooked for him and helped him out with money (he was out of work and said he would pay me back) and let him use my car when he needed it. I asked him over and over why he never had me over and he gave me millions of stories but never the truth. I asked him about a former girlfriend he had and he said he is not involved with her but strictly talks with her on business only (since they had a business together prior me). However she called my phone one day (I did not answer because he told me not to) and asked him why she call my phone if they are not involved. He told me it was nothing and yes she still has feelings for him but he only has feelings for me and not her. So I after that time My girlfriend and I did a surveillance on him and his house, I even found out he was living with an elderly lady...ok I made the mistake of going over there at midnight (yes now I know was wrong) but he always pops over my house any time of the night he wanted so I did back what he did to me. He also left a folder (I also found out he did not give me his real name on a legal paper his name is different than what he told me I asked he said none of my biz) in my car and I went through it because he never told me where he really lived and he found out later about that so he told me he cannot trust me (which I understand) and asked me why I did those things (I told him because he hiding from me and I did not trust him because he lied several times about his car situation/living situation)...if you guys think I am wrong then OK but if not wrong because he was hiding things from me would you have done the same? Now keeps calling and texting me like crazy for why I do not know? He owes me money and in good faith I went without paying my rent to help him. I told him now he must pay back and he told me I gave it to him but mad I asked because he said he would give me back in first place. SO I am thinking he wants me back? Should I work this out with him (yes I am dumb b that loves him) or just give him time he said I was wrong for not being patient with him and that is why I am loosing him...so why is he texting me and calling me every hour on the hour? Telling me he forgives me and wants to see me...what is up? He left his things and I told him to come get his stuff. What do you guys think? Move on or get counseling or both? Why he calling me after we broke up? He ask me if I am going to snoop again as he feels violated I told him no I don't need to and if he was honest from beginning and not hide from me I would not have gone to this extent esp if an ex of his called me. I just had to know so I did not marry the wrong man but fell hard for him because he made me believe that he would take care of me when he was in a better situation financially...so I was dumb to believe he would be there


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sorry but I can't give you much hope.

    Just ask yourself WHY?" Why did he hide his real name and address?

    It's up to him to come back at you with a REALLY good explanation and with your money.

    He owes you money? You're lucky if you'll get a small part of it back. (if he signed IOU's, you can try...but I bet he didn't.)

    There are many more fish in the sea, think about it.

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    • Yes you all are right...thank you I am just depressed but will eventually snap out of it. How do I get the right man back I dumped for this guy? I should have listened to him the first time then I would have been ahead of my life with money, career and my good friends I lost.

What Guys Said 2

  • Wow, way to much drama! I understand that you have feelings for this guy but from your description he is not right and you should be glad to be rid of him. I would recommend ending all communication with this guy, he sounds like bad news. Sorry, but I would not count on getting your money back either. Live and learn, good luck.

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    • My life was good before I met him. School, career, money but the only thing left now is my school. Unfortunately I lost my job because of his constant interruptions of helping him out he needed ride here and there and my money is out too. Hurts bad but I will survive. This is the worst I have ever had with a man...at least the last guy I dated was honest but I dumped him because I thought this guy was better. Now I can't even get my good friends back and my old guy friend.

    • Yeah, it stinks when you think you are all alone. As you already know you may never get your "old life" back exactly how it was so do your best to just except that fact (easier said than done, I know). Take one day at a time. You cannot make your friend forget what happened but you can say your sorry and then do your best to move on with your life. With a little luck, if they were good friends, they might want to be friends again. Oh, change your number if the guy will not leave you alone.

  • Firstly yes you are a "dumb b that loves him" so I agree with you there. This guy is keeping you completely separate from his real life so there's no reason that he would change. He's probably not even who he says he is and sounds like a dirt bag. He's only going to drag you down in life, so you should stay away from him, and start having higher standards for guys.

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    • Thank you for the feedback. Yes you are right. I can't believe I let all my good friends go because of him and even my old boyfriend I dumped for this fool. Now I want my friends and old boyfriend back and do not know how to apologize and get them back. So that is why I went online to talk to people.

What Girls Said 1

  • Is he your boyfriend or husband? Because in the beginning you said boyfriend and at the end you said did you marry the wrong man...Im confused a little. ANYWAYS he is obviously with someone else. You are is SIDE girl:-(

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    • Thanks for your response. He was a boyfriend and things were good until his ex called me (if it really was) and he asked my hand in marriage 2 weeks ago so now it is over and best to move on after reading all the comments. It hurts bad when I believed him and bent over backwards for him. I hope I can meet the right guy one day that is not a user/abuser. Unfortunately I fell for all his lies.

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