Do you think overweight people should lower their standards in physical attraction or does it seem unfair to think they should change their standard?

*Explain why your viewpoint, please.

* I am an average guy who is about 5'10" and 170 lbs and I will be okay asking out any girl I find pretty regardless of whether she is thin, average, or overweight.

*Though usually I don't ask out morbidly obese but I will ask out an overweight girl if I find her pretty.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • People should stay in their lane.

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    • That's a very "witty" way of answering the question!

What Girls Said 19

  • Depends On how attractive they are and the ratio/number of people attracted to them. There are many men and women with a fat/overweight fetish.

    However no one has to lower their standards for any reason. However they don't have the right to vilify others for not being attracted to them.

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    • Lol... I have a "milf", "furry", and "dominatrix" fetishes; do you think I can find a woman that fulfills all those things?
      Naw I am just playing.
      Thank you for your input, you make a good point though, no one "has to" lower their standards but I put the question forth because I wonder should some men and women consider being more "open minded"?

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    • Thats why you need a mistress to train you lol :)

    • LMAO!!!

  • I really don't know. Im not skinny but I'm not fat, and yet lol Im still just as picky. So hmmmm I'm tryna see how I can answer this question lol. Like look at some of these heavy set celebrities. I ain sayin no names, but they confident as a mofo lol. Like they believe they the shii, so if they wanna remain with their higher standards, maybe someone will come along for them. Who knows? But i feel like if they're gonna be that high maintenance and expect someone to appear perfect to them, then they should look to grant that same amount of perfection. Say whoever they're dating asks them to join them at the gym. Well then they should go along. After all, a relationship is a two-way street. Both people should feel happy about each other and themselves :)

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    • Yeah but if you were overweight, do you think you'd be just as "picky"?

      I mean an athletic guy usually attracts women and he may or may not "screw" a lot of them but when it comes to an 'actual' relationship he's probably going to want a girl with similar "values" and interests which might include an athletic girl who goes to gym like he does.

    • Yea thats why I was saying, those who are overweight can still be picky if they want, but they should at least get out and excercise so they dont look like a complete fool in most other pplz eyes. Basically they need to look good themselves so people dont question like "Wow he/she got some nerve! How can they be so picky?" Ya feel me?

    • I feel ya!!
      ; )

  • I think it's unfair to have standards for the person you wanna be with IF you don't try to meet them yourself the best way you can if you have no health problems like thyroid or take meds that lead to weight gain. After all, the person you wanna be with has standards too and shouldn't have to lower her/his standard either.

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  • I don't think it matters. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right? Doesn't even matter about weight: say you don't find yourself super handsome and think you may not have a chance with pretty girls. One of those pretty girls may find you attractive, right? I've had the same problem. I'm not like really overweight, but I have a curvy figure. I also have a lot of muscle tone, though, so I am obviously athletic. I don't think I'm gorgeous, but people seem to find me really attractive. It's all a matter of perspective and "sticking to your lane" doesn't really make sense because, obviously, people rank one another differently. Beauty is subjective and you shouldn't date based on that subjectivity. It just proves how shallow a person is.

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  • its hypocritical to not care about how u look but expect an attractive fit person to date you. someone who works out 5 days a week dating a couch potato?

    if ur 5'10 170 u don't really sound fat. I don't know guys weights but im assuming ur normal sized. so ur ok in my book

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  • Of course not. Don't know what their weight has to do with it. Go for what you like

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    • I mean I just look at a girl's face mainly, I do look at her body but if I still think she's attractive then being overweight is not a deterrent. But if I was overweight then I think that I would try and be more "open-minded" as attraction is a "double-edged sword".

      People with fat-fetishes aren't necessarily trying to seriously date a person; often times they just get a thrill out of having sex with those people. They don't necessarily think overweight people are better looking than other body types.

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    • It makes sense just because you have a fetish for "feet" doesn't mean a person will make a decision just because they find the perfect feet. Especially if they aren't attracted to the person's face!!

      A fetish is just a "turn on". Fetishes are usually learned to, its an association between something completely random and sex. Some people have hand fetishes but they're completely normal, it doesn't mean they choose a mate based on their hands.

      You're a self-ingratiating, it does make sense. A lot of men have "milf/cougar" fetishes but they wouldn't marry a woman for that. Very few do.

    • Who said anyone would make a life or relationship decision based on looks alone? Stay with me pal

  • You're attracted to people you're attracted to and that's it. It's really cold to just categorize people into low, mid and high "shelves" like kitchen equipment, like one person's quality is objectively better than another's. Even if a person weighs 300 pounds, they have every right to approach people they find attractive. Those people have just as much of a right to reject this person. It's all about mutual attraction. Me for example, I'm 5'9", so pretty tall for a 17-year-old gal, but I don't feel like guys shorter than me are somehow below my "standards". Many of them are cute, funny, smart and have gorgeous faces.

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  • I've seen many couples in which one or the other is considered overweight. Half the time the slimmer person is actually quite hot, yet they had no issues dating an overweight person. Obviously there are people out there who rightfully do not want to date an overweight person, but I personally wouldn't minimise my opportunities due to a bit of weight that can easily be lost in the future.

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  • there is no 'should', but she will have to, they will be naturally forced to lower their standards as obesity and being overweight even a bit over the natural weight according to her height is unhealthy and considered unhealthy and health is absolutely a major part of attractiveness.
    At the same time one may have no problem with someone who is pretty and a bit overweight but even him would like it more if the same girl wouldn't be overweight. and this very fact means that being overweight lowers the attractiveness and so naturally the standards of one.

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  • I don't care about other people's standards, as long as they don't complain about not getting the person they want, and as long as they don't act all high and mighty about it as if they "deserve" a very specific type of partner. That's childish.

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  • Standards is an urban legend/ People don't have "high" or "low" standards. What they find attractive, is what they find attractive. You can't control who you find beautiful.

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  • I mean in this case the overweight person (s) should never have to change their standards. All people have certain standards and sometimes what truly affects it, is the social norm. Kind of what this dude, h4teful 1, said about staying in your own lane, that just bc someone is overweight or even obese has to stick with someone that looks like them. The social norm and its ethics is basically a compilation of being a certain standard of beauty or having to conform to not stand out. In my opinion, no. No one has to change their standards for any reason. Ok that went more profound that i wanted to but anyways... Haha. Yea i kind of have a lot of opinions but i don't really voice them anyways...

    -😜 Comical girl

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  • I hate that will live in such a shallow world. (Not saying you are.) I see so many people judge others on the way someone looks. There is more to a person just than how they look. More people should fall for personalities.

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  • It depends on the individual and what they have to offer, how charming/likable they are, etc. as it is for most people.

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  • my cousin was super thin when she met her husband. he is not a gross looking guy. but he is a bit on the heavy side. I think it depends from girl to girl. u never know u might find some hottie u prefers bigger guys...

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  • This guy who I am talking to says that we are dating and he is fit he has abs and I am overweight. We don't force men to be with us

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    • There are mismatched couples that work and I wish you two the best, hopefully it'll last.

      But my question isn't about mismatched couples.

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    • BYE KID

    • I am a grown ass man, maybe you can't take the truth!
      "Can't take the heat then get out the kitchen!"

  • I don't see anything wrong with being attracted to people out of your league, or even asking them out. I just find it ridiculous when people turn down people in their own league. An overweight guy shouldn't turn down an overweight girl, but that doesn't mean he should only date overweight women.

    I'm an ugly woman, so I don't go for hot guys. I generally stay in my own league. However, if a hot guy asks me out I won't turn him down either. Although I never turn men down, even if I am not attracted. I always give them a chance. The only one I have ever turned down it was my best friends crush. So I couldn't do that to her. Otherwise I like for people to look past my looks, so I do the same for guys. You never know if you're turning down the one who would be a good match for you. It's something my mother taught my sister and I from an early age.

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    • PLEASE, do not call yourself ugly. No one is ugly in my eyes, its what is on the inside that counts.
      Now there might be people who I don't sleep with but that's all I'll say.

    • People have been telling me most of my life that I don't have a pretty face. Plus I've only had one relationship since High School and I am 28.

  • My view is that if an individual does not care about their appearance, then it isn't reasonable to expect those that do to be attracted to them (unless they have a fetish of some sort, or do just purely go on personality). But id say that the common rule of thumb is the above (from a blunt unPC POV)

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    • Hmm... what are you saying in that last part?

    • But id say that the common rule of thumb is the above (from a blunt unpolitically correct point of view)

    • Yeah it is safe to assume that, I agree.

  • I think overweight people have quite low standards already.

    dumb people should also lower their standards too

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    • LOL... I didn't think dumb people have "high" standards. But you make a very good point. But its funny though most people don't try to evaluate a person's intelligence as to whether they'd make good dating material.

      Unfortunately a lot of girls and guys, in general, just say "Is he or she hot?", if they are then they're down to date.

What Guys Said 10

  • I don't think you should rule out pretty girls but I don't think you should have high hopes for the super pretty ones either. I do see couples that "don't make sense" to me but they're perfectly happy.

    I go to the gym a lot and hate seeing girls message my dating profile when they're overweight personally, but they are at least giving it a shot. My main reason for hating it is because of what they write in their profile though as they're usually rants about "no good guys" being left for them or they're the type to skinny bash other girls so I'll get a message from a fat girl just to see a profile ranting about how she doesn't want to "be a twig."

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    • LOL... yeah I see that stuff like that. I don't really out pretty girls... I don't care if she's overweight or "super pretty", I try to ask them all out if I like the way they look.

      I am trying not to waste opportunities!

  • Anyone can ask out whoever they want.

    Anyone can be as picky as they want.

    If that leaves them alone then it's their decision whether to improve themselves, lower their standards, or stay single.

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    • @kheserthorpe

      Shit!! I wish I could give out two most helpful. You make an excellent conclusion right there.

  • Not at all. They can set their standards as high as they want to. Just like guys. The problem is, they usually whine and moan about it and that's where the problem is. I don't see this in just obese women, I see it in a lot of women in general and it's annoying and I'm sick of hearing it.

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    • I like your profile pic...
      Yeah I'm only commenting because I like that... umm I guess I can say something about your opinion... I agree with you. I don't think weight matters and people can have standards as high as they want.

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    • @whatsername,

      I guess some people are too good for themselves!

    • Why the thumbs down? What do you care what other people's standards are? Why shouldn't they be able to have their own standards? Who should dictate them instead? you?

  • its probbly saf to say fat people should expect less when attracting a partner. when i went to amsterdam i swear i didn't see a single fat person the whole time i was there. the only fat people i saw was some of the fat people in my group from britain. i also noted all the dutch were absolutely stunning!! anyway i think a good physique and beauty go hand in hand and if a person doesn't care to look after her body then she should expect a partner with the same physique.

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    • I plan to go to Amsterdam whenever the option arises, LOL!

  • Don't raise your standards. Just expect a higher reject %

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  • Everybody is free to to what they wish and want! It's wrong to bound owerselved from something. Good for them if they can;)

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  • Yes.

    Leagues exist, but then I think somebody who is low on the social looks scale shouldn't crow on about who is hot or not.

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  • No, No one should have to change their standards because someone else thinks they should.

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  • I think you should date who you want, that being said fat people shouldn't complain if they can't get a skinny partner. I used to be obese (6 foot 275) now I'm at 190. I'm still a little overweight but I lost the weight so I COULD get the type of women I find attractive.

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  • They should do whatever they want but they shouldn't complain that their single if their setting the bar too high

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