Is it shallow to consider hitting on a woman since she's lost weight?

i know it may seem shallow, but then does it make sense?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you're just complimenting her, no. But to hit on her kind of is. I lost 75lbs and a couple guys I liked before were all of a sudden interested. One of them even hired at wanting to date. We were friends when I was bigger and I had admitted to having feelings and he admitted to caring about me but not being attracted. Totally cool, attraction is necessary, but I knew it was my weight. I got a very physically demanding job and dropped the pounds and he hinted to his new found interest. I told him I loved him because he was one of my best friends, but that because I wasn't good enough before, I can't date him now. So we're still friends and it is what it is. That's all on her to decide though.

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What Girls Said 13

  • Depends on whether you know the girl or not. If you've already known her for some time and only start hitting on her because she's lost weight, it's definitely not right. If she's just some girl you sometimes pass by on parties, and now you think 'dayum she's worth a shot', I don't think it's shallow. You don't know her, you only know what she looks like, and now she's in the range of your preferences, so meh.

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  • no more shallow than ignoring and dissing the nerd when he was younger, but hit on him when you see him driving a nice car at 30.

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  • It's not shallow. She probably lost the weight because she wanted guys to hit on her but consider that she might someday go back to her original size and ask yourself if you are okay with dating her that way.

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  • Ya a bit. It makes sense but I feel unless she lost like 100 lbs it's quite shallow to not have liked her before for her personality and consider her now

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  • No, she'll probably be happy that someone noticed the difference since she worked hard to achieve those results (I'm assuming). If she receives compliments she'll know it actually payed off.

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  • I don't think its shallow. She lost weight so hitting on her would be nice and make her feel like she's done a good job. When I make gains at the gym I love when people notice

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  • It's actually nice if someone notices a girl's weight loss, provided her body is not the one and only reason you're interested in her in the first place.

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    • i'm not attracted to fat women..

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    • no. i like everything.

    • Then you're good to go. Good luck with her, man.

  • A little bit of both because it's whats on the inside not out. But it's actually only up to you and your feelings.

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  • No not at all

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  • Not really, but I've lost weight and had dudes who made fun of me before, try to hit on me, I laughed right in their face.

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  • I would say its a double standard.

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  • If you're complimenting her no.
    But if she was overweight and you DID not show her any love- then yes it's superficial. I don't care what anyone says that is my OPINION.
    I've lost 20 lbs and the men who were giving me side eyes are now giving me star eyes.

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  • No. She'll feel prettier. As long as you don't bring up the weightloss.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Judging someone based on their health is never shallow. At least you got an opener.

    Now if she ever ask you, "would you date me if I was heavier?" Just answer, "no, I don't find unhealthy to be an attractive quality"

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    • health is to me is PC... for me size is an aesthetic thing..

    • Health is the real reason. No one needs to look like they can survive a famine any more.

      Sure calling a girl fat is worse than saying "unhealthy". But all you're really saying is "I'd prefer a girl that's more comfortable with a treadmill over Ben and Jerry"

    • we agree to disagree..

      though i don't get why disliking weight on an aesthetic is somehow wrong, but meh...

  • No it's not because if a guy got more attractive girls would do the same

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