Where are all the "good girls" as it seems like so many good girls have been screwed and turned into "damaged goods" by some jerk?

*Advice from all welcome... guys & girls. Keep it amiable and polite as well.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't lose hope! They are defiantly out there. Where? I don't know, but I do know that girls feel the same way about guys, so you are not alone.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Sweetie let me put it to you this way. I was a good girl and now I am a good woman who just turned 40. I was married to my husband for 8 years and he was very abusive towards me. I left the marriage and divorced him, to make a long story short I am trying to not lump all men into one category of being a jerk just cause he was even though i am bitter very bitter as i felt well mind as well use men like they use me and I only felt that way cause my heart was hurt so bad. BUt I never and will never use a man like they have or he has me. I am working on not feeling bitter and yes I felt like damaged goods but there is hope. I talk about what happened just recently and it has been four years since the divorce and have begun to heal. In order for me to be happy again and hopefully one day find a nice loving man who is friendly i need to heal first cause i really miss being in love and kissed and sharing my days with someone. I have no idea what a nice relationship feels like but i sure would like to have one.
    I hope that helps sweetie.

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  • There are its just after awhile we feel like why bother its going to be hope less cause it will end the same as the rest. So every guy gets turned down right away. Not thinking he could be the one. Eventually they come out of that feeling

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  • Dating good men or being trapped in obscurity by the same things that keeps nice men dateless - being overweight, being too shy, seeming cold, not getting out of their routine, not making time to date, etc.

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    • Or simply anywhere else, being patient and looking for a good match.

  • I believe in law of attraction. Those good girls, who attract that bad boys, well, actually they are bad girls inside. These bad boys just helps waking up the bad side

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What Guys Said 6

  • So find a girl who is 'damaged' and support her as she recovers. Everyone is damaged in some way, so eventually you are going to have to learn to look past the issues, and work through them.

    Find a girl you like, despite her issues, and help her. Be a good guy. Let her heal. Talk to her when she needs it and be a shoulder to cry on when she needs that. Pick her up when she falls, and she will do the same in return... and thats how adult relationships work.

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    • I don't try and change people, they need to be ready for me just as I need to be ready for her.

    • I didn't say change her. I said support her while she heals. 'Damaged' people can heal over time if given a little understanding and support. People change.

  • What you were taught about good girls growing up was simply crap to prevent premarital sex.

    Boys are taught that any girl who might actually be willing or, god forbid, want to sleep with them is clearly an easy slut and should be avoided. Also any girls who appear to have a sex drive and hence care about things like your body. The only acceptable girls to pursue are ones who don't have sex or care about sexual attraction.

    (Girls are taught that any guy who wants to have sex with them clearly doesn't love them, and the best way to determine a guy is a good guy who loves them is to not have sex with him and he will prove his love by being totally fine and happy with this).

    Does this sound like an actual description of what being a good person means, or... like bullshit to discourage anyone from actually having sex?

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    • Someone who is fit for a relationship not literally good person, but good in the sense of being emotionally healthy enough to be with a guy.

      Not all women who've had premarital sex are bad for relationships, I am referring to a specific scenario

    • Not many people are really fit for a relationship, because most people have been given no guidance on how to actually operate within one.

      Assume people will have bad relationship-habits, and you'll need to behave in a proper way, and indicate to them how you expect them to behave. If they embrace and move towards that, great.

  • Damaged goods? Lol. That's funny. Do you want to know the truth? The people whom you refer to as "damaged" aren't damaged by the sexual act, that's just who they are. They choose the guys you don't find appealing as people because that's what they find appealing. As such, desiring to be liked by them is problematic, as they would like about you what you hate about others. Would you want to be something you hate? Overall, it's also understandable if you don't like them. Just look for people who aren't indulging in sexuality, smoking, drinking and Twilight. But don't be dismissive about people just because they had sex previously. It's more about the core values of a person.

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  • they are all around you, you may just be in the wrong place

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  • Ovaries are the root of all evil.

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  • I blame Feminism. It taught these girls that sleeping around would make them empowered.

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