A couple things before I get into this. First of all, I know I'm not God's gift to women. I don't look like Brad Pitt and I'm not super smooth. I know not every girl is going to fall in love with me after one date, and I'm fine with that. And I know a girl doesn't owe me anything because I bought a bottle of wine and some food. Just wanted to get that out of the way.
I've been on more than two dozen dates via online dating, and I'm noticing an alarming trend. Whether we go on one date, two dates, ten dates... when she stops being interested, there's no "break up" of any kind. One day, the communication just stops. Sometimes in the middle of a conversation. I typically wait a little bit - sometimes life happens and I hate clingyness as much as anyone - and send another message. Nothing.
And I get it. That conversation can get awkward. And, yes, I get the hint and stop texting. So I understand that it works.
But I find it incredibly disrespectful. I'm 30 and I date girls in their mid-to-late-20s - we're all adults. If a girl doesn't like me, I'm not going to cry about it. But, at least have the decency to say so.
I know guys do it too - I've seen women on here complain about the same thing. And I'd tell a guy the same thing - be a man and end it correctly. And while I typically think a text is a bad way to break it off with someone, after a handfull of dates (or less), it's fine. "Hey, I had a great time, but I'm not feeling it." It takes ten seconds, and it's the adult thing to do.
So, while this is mostly a rant, I do have questions:
1. Guy or girl, have you ever done this? If so, why do you do it? Do you realize it's disrespectful, or are you trying to save feelings?
2. Guy or girl, has this happened to you? Have you ever called someone out on it? If so, what happened?
Most Helpful Girl
I've done it and had it done to me. You do it because, how ever you feel at the moment, might think its the easiest way. Some people really don't know how to let someone down easy, especially over text, so they hope it will just go away. Sometimes people don't get your message and think you're the one who ignored them first (I've had that happened to me, too). Sometimes life just gets in the way and replying can be forgotten. I did it because I thought it would be less "messy". I do feel sorry about it now tho, I was younger when I did that, so I've learned.
When it was done to me, I got all hypocritical and pissed off and made a fuss about it. They claimed they were busy, but they were shady so I didn't fully believe them. Turned out, they were an asshole from the getgo and I have left them as kindly and up front as I could.0