So I've known this guy for about 2 years. I can talk to him about anything. He's a total sweetheart. About a year ago he started hunting towards wanting to sleep with me and making jokes about it. Then I got together with my ex and I quit talking to him. When we broke up this guy started talking to me again. He never really asked what happened between us so he doesn't know anything about it. Just that the ex was controlling and jealous ao thats why I couldnt talk to him. Now im totally ready to just have fun and have been thinking about a friend with benefits and he knows this. Before the ex and I got together I had told him I had feelings for him and he never said anything about it. Kinda just brushed it off. Im over the feelings now and want him to be my friend with benefits, but lately when we've been talking it seems like he may have feelings. He tells me that he give me whatever I'd like and when I described a 'date' situation he was all for it and wants to take me. He always tells me im cute and seemed pretty happy and surprised the other day when I told him he was attractive. I just get the feeling that he's got feelings now, but I asked him a few days ago if he was interested in anyone because of the conversation we were having and he just played that off too. So guys, any thoughts about what might be going through his head? This is just one of those topics I dont want to bring up to him unless I feel necessary.
I just dont know what he wants from me. Any thoughts?
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What Girls Said 2
This sounds exactly like the situation I was in about 2 years ago when I all of a sudden became attracted to a friend of mine I had been really close with and who had always sort of had a thing for me. I developed feelings for me a while after he told me he liked me so it was also just about him sort of 'hunting me', like a game of cat and mouse.
Anyways, I can just tell you from the start he could want to be just friends, FWB, or maybe a relationship. You won't know for sure until you ask him straight up and he gives a direct and clear answer. Try not to stay in this gray area for too long, it'll drive you insane and won't get you any further with him. Let him know how you feel, and ask him what he'd be interested in pursuing, if anything at all.
I made the mistake of avoiding directly 'confronting' him about the issue unless we were both pretty drunk at 1 AM at a neighbourhood pub. I'd advise against doing the same. You don't have much to lose in approaching him head-on, if he's scared off or not able to give you a proper answer you should probably take that as a no and just leave him be.1
I know I am a girl, but you have several choices. Choice one, if you like him and have feelings, then you must test him. Meaning he could be acting out to take you on an actual date. If he is not, he will be patient to sleep with if you are not giving in and will be persistent on not sleeping with him until he shows his desire for loyalty. Second option, if you truly want to be just friends with benefits, see where the date goes. If after one date, he can't help but take your clothes off, let that be an opportunity to say you are only interested in the benefits and nothing more. You see, we just don't know if he is being sincere about taking you on a date, or using his words to literally get some action. Hope this helps!1
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