20 years old and never had a girlfriend, what can I do to improve?

I'm 20 years old and have never had a girlfriend. I've been working out for over a year now, watching my diet and have achieved a desirable body. I am comfortable with being shirtless in public and have decent sized arms and abs. I I am on track to a successful career in Finance with no debt after I graduate and size able investments.

I'm just so curious why girls never seem to be interested in me, I would basically date any girl that isn't horridly out of shape. I know that this seems really shallow, but I don't want to work out and push myself so hard in the gym if my partner doesn't even take care of herself.

I drive a 40k car that's only a few years old and already own investments worth over 150k. People say that "rich" guys have a much easier time with women but I don't feel like that's the case. I have really nice clothes, glasses, a wide assortment of colognes, and nearly the best of everything. I would have no problem paying for expensive dates.

I used to be fairly confident in myself, but after being rejected by two girls in High school I lost all of my confidence and self esteem. I don't feel like I look too bad, i now have a good muscular body (from a twig) and keep my wardrobe and hairstyle updated. But I feel like the fact that I'm only 5'7'' and Asian really puts me down when it comes to attracting a girl. Writing this helps me rant but I'd like to bear others opinions on what I should do. Any insight is welcome, I might come across as cocky in this post, but I'm actually a very humble guy.


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Most Helpful Guy

What Girls Said 5

  • Honestly, you sound like an absolute catch. You come off as intelligent/articulate, motivated, and a guy that genuinely knows what you want. I bet a lot more ladies than you think are into you, they just don't know how to approach you/let you know.

    I can guarantee your ethnicity doesn't drive girls away (I know a lot of girls who dig Asian guys) and 5'7" is only slightly below average, so that really shouldn't be a deal breaker either. The only real flaw I can find in everything you've said, is your low self confidence. You have several positive qualities, you just have to believe in yourself a little.

    Have you tried approaching women, or putting yourself in social situations to meet people? Even using apps like Tinder can help, even if you don't actually meet people from it (just seeing that people in your area are interested is kinda nice haha).

    Anyways, good luck.

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  • Working in finance myself, I'm going to be straight with you here. You sound exactly like my clients that reguarly hit on me.

    Yes, it is GREAT that you have all those things. IT makes a nice START, but you've completely failed to apply any human aspect/reasoning to why a woman should date you.

    You do understand, that from what you described of yourself, if a woman were to pursue you on that info alone it would make her a "shallow gold digger right?" You don't put material things/shallow substances on your hook and try to lure anyone of significance. ITs not going to work, and if it does, you aren't going to pull any of the women who are going to want you for who/what you are.

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  • Yea never act cocky, girls legit hate that. But don't stress. A lot of girls find it so attractive if a guy is a virgin. But you can try online dating if you want a relationship but if you just wanna fuck some girls go to a club or an awesome bar. And it's not shallow to have standards. Just cuz u don't have a girl doesn't mean u should let any girl have you. If you want an inshape girl then find one. Don't change ur standards cuz they are important in the long run. But maybe ur just looking the wrong place for woman or somthing about your personality is pushing them away cuz yu sound like a good looking male and even if your not looks arnt everything and people don't care that much about them

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  • The only thing you've expressed about the positives about yourself are having money & owning nice things. You didn't mention how much you respect women or what you'd like in a female.. You only talk about having money.

    You sound like you're a nice guy, and educated.. But who are you when you take away the money cars & fancy belongings? That's what matters the most.

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    • Well I also believe I have a body that is in the 99th percentile of the general population, I have worked extremely hard to change what ever I can change to improve my attractiveness. Honestly, at this point, if any girl showed any type of interest I would make them the center of the world. I would do anything to make her happy. I would value her babe any of my worldly assets, but due to my height and ethnicity, I don't think it will ever happen

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    • I believe it true for all females. Some just hate admitting it.

    • As a girl, what makes the "bad" boy persona so attractive? I just find it pretty obnoxious, and frankly most of the people that exhibit such a trait usually seem to have no life goals. I thought ambition was a very attractive characteristic?

  • To be honest all you're focusing on is your material wealth and looks and that makes you come across as shallow. Your ethnicity plays no role in repelling girls as does your height. My boyfriend is an inch shorter than me but it doesn't make a difference. As a person what do you have to offer a girl? What are your personality traits that make you a catch? Do you treat a woman well, would you respect her, etc, etc?

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    • I would treat her like the center of my world. I just want a chance.

What Guys Said 6

  • " I lost all of my confidence and self esteem"

    That's why you can't find a girl..

    A woman can sense a lack of confidence a mile away. Until you fix that, you have no chance. Either get a book (s) on building self esteem or keep asking until you don't get rejected.

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    • That's my problem. Ever since getting rejected in high school I haven't made any attempts. Back then I was scrawny, had a bowl cut, short, and acne ridden, but as I've progressed in my physical attributes, confidence is something that hasn't come yet. Basically I'm too much of a pussy to even get rejected

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    • Well I just don't see how I would deal with the embarrassment if I approached a girl and she rejected me. Being in a college campus, I would only ever talk to a girl in class or at the gym, both if these places would be places where I see them again.

    • Then get away from the campus. Get away from those girls. Go to bars, coffee shops, libraries. Volunteer places.

  • Well try being 29 fat, ugly, unemployed and stupid. Hey but look at the bright side at least your not me.

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    • Hey just hit the gym, even though you might not get girls you'll be aesthetic. Just start with the basic strong lifts program and set up a my fitness pal account. Everyone has beginner gains and you'll see significant progress within months of starting to work out. Hang in there.

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    • I challange you to make a rate me question in this site, I bet with you that some girls will find you atractive.

    • All ready did it was more of a How ugly do you think I am question. Guess what a lot of girls on here found me ugly.

  • Where do you live? America?

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  • Dude you lost all your self esteem by getting rejected by just two chicks?

    Really bro?

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    • When you never fail at anything you try, I got into all the universities I applied for, was successful in all athletics and business ventures, failure hits you really hard.

    • Dont let some bitch deside who you are? Comeon man. We the middle children of history. Ha

  • The lack of mentioning how your personally is and how you are with girls says a lot about why you've never had a girlfriend. You're only looking at the outside of things. Look deeper into the soul and you'll discover the beautiful things people are made up of.

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    • How can you define a personality? I like to think I'm a considerate guy that shows empathy towards my peers. I know that I would be completely loyal and caring to my SO, what else would I need? Personality is hard to change, but your body, money, and intellect aren't, and I'm hoping to improve the latter to offset my lacking personality.

    • I don't know you didn't list any inner qualities about yourself. Even after all the money, cars and investments and muscles you have, it cannot buy a girls heart. A true woman is won emotionally, not materialistically.

  • we're moving back toward an alpha/beta society where alphas get multiple girls and betas get none.

    we went from an alpha-beta species to a monogamous one in the first place because betas bribed women with more food. now tho women can get betas wealth without giving anything in return. its called the welfare state. so why would women bother to fuck betas now?

    if you dont have that bad boy alpha charm you're not getting any

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    • I don't want to be a giant dick.. Although if I went out and changed my wardrobe up I can easily pull off the douchebag look..

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    • oh shit and you're in college? you might want to check the college sexual harassment regulations. even consensual sex is now rape at some colleges

    • Yeahhhhhhh that's never gonna happen lol. I've only told two girls that I liked them in my entire life, I'm not at that level of yet. Props to you if you are able to do that. Couldn't imagine myself doing that,

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