Is it okay if I wouldn't date a girl who likes Twilight?

It is one of my major dealbreakers. If you like Twilight, then you not only have a terrible taste in art, but you also implicitly support sexism and gender stereotypes. And really, it is a terrible book that romanticizes abusive relationships. Same goes for 50 shades of shitty writing.

  • YES
    60% (27)53% (8)58% (35)Vote
  • NO
    40% (18)47% (7)42% (25)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't worry buddy, neither would I. Your preferred books, movies and music speak volumes about who you are as a person, it's unwise to ignore it.

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    • I would be surprised if you found a diehard Twilight male fan, albeit I do know some people who read it only to have a "better chance with the ladies" and I am still not sure what to think about that.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I strongly dislike Twilight, but I think it's a really weird thing to have taken such a firm stance on. LOL

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    • Well, one needs to set up SOME boundaries and standards :P

What Girls Said 30

  • Let me prove you wrong. Bear with me here. I am not a fan of Twilight by far. But I like certain things about it. When my bf and I watched it, we kept making fun of those volturi dudes, especially that old cunt that looks like he's dying. We had a LOT of fun with it. It also allowed us to discuss male and female behaviour. Who is more suited for whom and why. Who said something wise, who said something stupid. Me? I'm not a fan of vanilla romances. But I liked some quotes about the show which relate to power relations and discourse.
    Abusive relationships are fun- in sex. If you haven't tried some s&m or light BDSM shit then you're missing out. I find NORMAL sex to be vanilla and boring.
    Terrible taste in art? Not necessary. I don't like the glittering thing, but I have to admit its originality. And the way the last fighting scene was set. I was disappointed that no actual fighting happened, but in terms of artistic ideas- it was also original.
    Sexism and gender stereotypes aren't always a bad thing. There are many downfalls to being a chick, but there are also downfalls to being a guy. There are AWESOME things about being a chick and there are awesome things about being a guy. We're different. Like, no shit, there's gonna be sexism. For what it's worth, equal career and education opportunities aside, I don't want us to be the same. I can handle some insults and I love insulting back. Some guy tells me I'm less intelligent than him due to having a smaller brain, I'll say "then what's your excuse for being dumb?" or "Thanks. If I need a brain transplant, I'll use yours seeing as how it's never been used." Like fuck, have fun with it? Why is everyone such a pansy? Take an insult then say something smartass back. Embrace your sex and your stereotype, embrace your perfections and imperfections.
    So, you have no reason not to date your chic just cuz of a movie preference.

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    • So your preferences are the opposite of mine completely, I never even understood why "power relations" ever needed to exist even in the form of a concept, as it is just holding us back from true equality and balance. I was never interested in DSM, and I probably never will be.

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    • I see.

      I would not be interested.

    • I see :) Well, I hope you find what you're looking for.

  • You can date anyone who consents to a relationship with you that you want.

    You can also reject a person romantically/sexually for any reason that you want.

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  • Seems fairly reasonable to me honestly. I don't get why anyone would like a book/series that glorifies abusive relationships.

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    • It also kinda glorifies pedophilia considering that Jacob falls in love with Bella's damn baby lmao.

    • Nononono he didn't "fall in love" with her, that would be creepy. He was just "imprinted" or whatever, Totally different! (lol)

    • Oh right, that's toooooootally different.

  • That's incredibly judgmental of you - I mean there's nothing to stop you but it's like limiting the amount of girls you might get along really well with based on something that's probably not that big of a deal and can't possibly define someones entire personality. If you are arguing in that vein you could say that pretty much any novel someone likes suggests that they "implicitly support" some negative aspect of the book. Come off it, sometimes we like and enjoy things just because we do, or some particular aspect has held our attention or was well explored, or evoked a strong reaction that is particular to you alone. Keep your mind open and perhaps you will find a girl one day who will actually change it.

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    • Certainly, Twilight did evoke a strong reaction from me. It is a horrible book, and liking it is a pretty good indicator. All of my female friends hate Twilight. My brother's girlfriend loved Twilight and they watched the movies together and stuff, and as much as I know about her, she is nice and all but I wouldn't be able to endure her for more than 8 hours, not to mention a lifetime. I have no idea how he does it.

  • Thats odd right to judge based on that

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    • Not really, it indicates what they expect from a particular romance, and I am not willing to support a relation in which the male is "dominant" in the sense that he controls pretty much every aspect of the female's life and the female has absolutely no problem with that, similarly to how @05Jueey supports traditional gender roles and is also a fan of Twilight. So far, the heuristic seems to be effective.

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    • No, it used to be way worse.

    • Actually I support people doing whatever the fuck they want. Traditional or not

  • We'll it's your opinion and you're entitled to your own opinion.

    However you're very narrow minded and can Mia out on some great girls because you disagree on a stupid thing like that.

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  • It's okay... you can date anyone you want for whatever reason

    ... but i'd avoid sizing them up based on one opinion
    for all you know their reason for liking or disliking them could have nothing to do with the reasons you hate the movies/books... so you'd either be missing out on an amazing opportunity
    ... or you'd endure a bad relationship based on an shared value that isn't really shared.

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    • This is just one factor, but I have doubts it is an amazing opportunity if she likes that series, haha.

  • It's totally acceptable.

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    • I was hoping some people would agree, it really is a terrible book that (unfortunately) appeals mostly to a younger female crowd, who are not mature enough to understand that romance is not about staring at you for 9 hours throughput the night after having seen each other like, twice. It is an unreasonable and damaging display. of "romance".

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    • It is a really stupid book series in more ways than one :P

    • I'm glad I've managed to avoid it.

  • Yes. You are what you read.

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  • Its okay if you don't date a girl who likes twilight kind of movies or 50SOG but don't be judgmental of them! its being inconsiderate and rude! And usually some girls grow out of it! I was crazy of twilight when the movie came out and read all the four books in 2 days! And re read them again and re watched the movies. AND then the time came where i was sick of the movie and the story cause once i watched and read them more than twice I understood how shitty it totally was! I read the 50SOG the first book was nice but when i went to 2 nd i got less excited and third book it was stupid! I do want to watch the movie cause want to know how good are the actors going to do it according to the book!

    SO gradually we will grow out of it! and don't judgmental! :)

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    • And just because girls read those books doesn't mean we like to be like that or support the abusive kind of life! Reading is for fun!

    • "cause once i watched and read them more than twice I understood how shitty it totally was! "

      Okay, I'm not sure how exactly I would need to handle that situation along my assessment pattern. Possibly with caution, but not with saying "mkay thank you for your time".

  • I'm saying yes just because you are entitled to your opinion even though I find it offensive lol

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  • Sounds like you'll be missing out on some great chicks. Is it sexist to like Cinderella or the little mermaid because their lives become better when they marry? Many of us love a love story. It doesn't define me. Your choice though. Personally I would be focusing more on their beliefs, morals and actions

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  • Every dude should feel how you feel.

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  • Only if you want to date people 18 and over... xD

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    • Well I'm 22 so I'd rather look around in the legal age group. :P

    • Hahah then you might actually be safe... xD

  • It's an immature reason to not date someone but you're entitled to date/no date whoever you choose for whatever reasons you choose

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    • Worst case scenario is that a Twilight-lover would not want to date me because they'd claim that this is not a valid reason, and that's not much of a loss there for me given the premise :o

    • Worst case scenario is you trolling the show in front of this chick and she either starts yelling at you or starts crying. My bf made fun of Sex and the City with his ex and she had a go at him, apparently. But if you chick just likes the movie, that's not a deal breaker yet.

    • Liking the movie is almost a worse offence than liking the book. Well, okay, I have not made up my mind about that comparison. Sex and the city is also problematic too, no wonder she is an ex. The violence is more problematic though.

  • Is it OK? Yes. I think it's good to mention it to them though since most of the Twilight fans are completely obvious how abusive the relationship is. *zomg edward is such a pretty sparkly vampire and perfect lover, TEAM EDWARD* Scares me.

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    • Perfect lover apart from being a health risk (read: he is attracted to you because he wants to kill you by eating your blood), is actually like 200 years old, and is technically kinda dead.

    • Totally :P because as the writer is a Mormon, he obviously wouldn't sex her up until they are married

  • lolll, haha just because she likes twilight? haha funniest shit i think I've heard lately.
    Oh and by the way Team Edward all the way lol

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    • Edward is dead, and pretty damn controlling tbh.

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    • Can I just say, this 'whipping shit' and name calling, even though it comes off as forceful, the submissive person is doing it off their free will and they're doing it because both parties love it. I realise that every woman is different, but you have to realise that the girl you might end up with might enjoy a dominant fucking. A large percent of women do. And it's not REALLY being forced to do stuff. In the end, it's about consent and trust. You know why we like it? It's the ultimate trust to give yourself like that to your partner. And the ultimate high to surrender all control. I'm so hooked, I would rather never have sex again than to go back to normal sex.
      Let me ask you this. You say "I really hate forcing myself on people who don't desire it". What if she desires the forceful fantasy? What if her one, ultimate desire is for you to dominate her?

    • P. S- you can do what you want. I'm not a bible, I don't need to be followed and what I say is not an order. I am merely stating some observations.

  • No one likes Twilight anymore lol but sure, I guess that's okay. 50 shades is disgusting in my opinion but that's just a reflection of sexual fetish. I think there's more to a person than their sexual kinks

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    • I think it says a lot that they see romance in that pretty damn messed up type of abusive relationship. As someone who looks primarily for equality, anyone who would be turned on by this level of suppression would not be compatible with me in any way.

    • I agree on a certain level. But so many women like it and not at women are what you'd expect from a girl who likes abuse.

    • If so many females like it, that just means this is a good filter condition.

  • It's pretty weird but , if you dislike Twilight so much, then date one who is not a fan. I doubt that would be a deal breaker since the series ended a long time ago and I doubt she will talk about it frequently or maybe not at all.

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    • Well, of course, I wouldn't date someone who's a fan :p

  • Abusive relationships? How?

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    • Edward is overly possessive and controlling, you would say "protective" but it's clearly much more restricted than that, and Bella basically starts falling in love with Jacob after he holds her against a tree and forces his tongue into her mouth.

    • Hahahaha, yeah, Edward was possessive as :P Kind of a pussy too.

  • I don't know any girl that still likes Twilight. However, art is an opinion.

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  • So would u date a girl who likes comics

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    • Sure!

    • So u don't like twilight at all what if u liked the girl and she likes twilight?

    • Then I wouldn't like her anymore! :D

  • Lol really? Haha it's not that bad, if you really liked someone and they liked the film you'd really hold that against them and stop a relationship?

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    • How would I even really like someone who likes Twilight? I don't think the relationship would even start.

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    • Who and who? would be a more appropriate answer surely?

    • @LastGirlScout hmm, that's not bonus points but not negative points either.

  • thats ridiculous lol. you're being super judgmental. that shouldn't be a deal breaker. most girls who are in your age range are most likely not into twilight anymore.. so you have nothing to worry about. and i don't understand how the book supports sexism, gender stereotypes and abusive relationships at all. have you even read all of the books? or are you just going by what other people say?

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    • Maybe someone who is overly protective, wants to kill whoever talks to you, also wants to kill you, and someone who basically stalks you and watches you sleep for 9 hours after having met like two days ago might not be the most stable person to be with. Afterwards, you have Bella playing with two guys' heart without any hard feelings, and the book portrays it as normal. Then she gets makeout-raped by Jacob who also breaks her arm in the process I think, but she falls in love with him because his tongue is warm, aka she liked getting raped. Charming ideas, and this is just the tip of the iceberg.

    • lmao. i dont think people even read into it that much. the point is, edward is protective of the girl he loves. it just so happens to be that his kind sucks blood from humans because.. oh wow.. he's a vampire. its supposed to be romantic. the cullens don't hunt humans. they hunt animals. because they care for humans. he's not trying to kill her, but obviously he's a vampire, so if he smells blood he's gonna go a little crazy. its FICTION and it adds to the story. he stays in her room at night because she wants her to be safe, and adores her. loving human beings watch their loved ones sleep too. (because they adore how they look when they're so peaceful and comfortable) just obviously not 9 hours at night. once again, it adds to the story, and the romance. i will admit the parts with jacob are stupid and poorly written. stephenie meyer is not a full on sexist and was not trying to portray sexism or abuse in the stories. clearly. and if bella enjoyed kissing him, how is that rape?

    • i think you're just looking into it wayyyy too much. twilight is no longer a big deal. no one even gives a flying fuck. like i said, especially no one in your age range. and if they still do fan girl over twilight, then ignore them. they're nothing to worry about. there's no point in starting weird debates over a book thats so out of date in this day and age. all the books and movies are out, and all the hype is over.

  • I tnink you are overemphasizing the importance of something.

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    • Beliefs are fairly important, and this is an indicator.

  • I see nothing wrong with it. Also I don't know if you know it, but 50 Shades is actually Twilight fanfiction. So I am not surprised that you won't date a woman who likes it. I find anyone who likes Twilight has bad taste. I am not saying this about all Twilight fans, but some are just psycho. My friend and I were talking about how horrible the books were a few years ago. This girl flipped out on us when we said vampires shouldn't sparkle. So I say stay clear of any Twilight fans.

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    • You mean like this woman?
      metro.co.uk/.../

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    • There are some nutters in every fandom lol. I used to read Harry Potter. I don't anymore, not because I hate the books but because I feel I outgrew it. A friend of mine actually self inserted herself into the trio in a fanfiction she wrote. She dated Draco Malfoy. I found that to be a bit much. I like fanfiction but not when people do self inserts.

    • Self-inserts are so weird. I honestly never even had the idea to do so because reality and fiction are far more detached for me than that.

  • It is okay to not date someone who supports sexism and gender stereotypes.
    And THANK YOU for realizing that those relationships are abusive!
    But you should know that there are some girls who enjoy reading Twilight but can separate fantasy from reality. And there are some girls who don't pick up on the sexism and creepy relationship (although not sure if you want to date those girls anyway, lol). But the point is don't automatically assume that someone who likes Twlight is actually in favor of those things.

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  • The shitty taste part is okay. But the rest, about stereotypes and abuse, you can't count on, I didn't see any of that stuff, when I watched the movie. Neither does almost all girls, who have read/watched it.

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    • Maybe their obliviousness to the problematic messages that the series portrays is a sign of its own.

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    • Educated yourself

    • Educate*

  • What if the girl was interested to find out how it ended, so she finished it, but she rejected the sexism and gender stereotyping in the books? And she would never read it again because she only liked it against her better judgement?

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    • That is a tough one and would require further analysis on what she actually liked about it, there is a chance I would be more lenient if she is capable of properly criticizing it whereever it is warranted. It is still a shitty book though, only reason why I ever read passages of it was to laugh at how and it is. I did the same with 50 shades... "My inner goddess", seriously? Bitch be crazy. At least Bella is just a manipulative bitch.

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    • I spend way too much time here. No wonder I ended up being a Guru, after all.

    • Hehe

  • Is it okay if I don't date a guy because we don't like the same football team? No, that stuff shouldn't effect how you feel completely

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    • Football teams are just picking a side in a given game.
      Technically, every team is the same. And football itself doesn't promote romanticization of abuse, nor does it portray males as possible sex toys that you can just lead on and play with with no remorse whatsoever.

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    • You mean guys that don't watch football?

    • @jeanbean I guess.

What Guys Said 7

  • I agree with you completely. I avoid and look down on women who romanticize and glorify abusive relationships, sexual assault, and rape as depicted in works like Twilight, 50 Shades of Grey, and so on. The widespread romanticizing on the part of women of the abuse of women has done more than raunchy prostitutes, cheaters, and radical man-hating feminists to lower my collective respect for women. It's disgusting.

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    • The collective of women doesn't exist, you should not judge an individual for things they have not done.

    • What if one of the things they have not done is speak out against the romanticizing and glorifying of abusive relationships, sexual assault, and rape as depicted in these works? They are enablers as much as the romanticizers and glorifiers.

  • Yes, that's perfectly fine. Women reject guys all the time for liking things such as comic books or video games. So I reckon we get to reject them for liking things too.

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  • I wouldn't date a girl who likes 50 Shades of abue (I couldnt far into the book, the writing was horrible). But twilight, i think I would

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    • *shades of abuse *couldn't go

    • I wouldn't date either :D But yeah, 50 shades is worse

  • why not? dating standards are completely subjective.

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  • Well I think you may be looking into those stereotypes a bit too much.

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    • Are you sure about that?

    • "If you like Twilight, then you not only have a terrible taste in art, but you also implicitly support sexism and gender stereotypes". Thats completely not true.

  • You can have any dealbreakers and standards you want, so yeah, it's perfectly fine. However it would be like a girl saying it's a dealbreaker if a guy watches p*rn or something. Cause Twilight is a girl's fantasy, it's not supposed to be realistic and it's not supposed to be some major piece of art. We all do and watch things for entertainment because they are fun to us, not because they are a masterpiece and I'm sure you don't only read Shakespeare. I watch sex videos that are not very respectful towards women yet I'm not supporting sexism and am not sexist towards my girlfriend. It's just fantasy. Girls want to be swept away by some mysterious guy with super powers and a tormented soul. It's their kind of romance. It's fine by me.

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    • While a fair counterpoint, there is a difference between something created to provide visual stimulation in terms of sexual activity, and something designed to appeal to one's emotions. p*rn is not trying to tell a story most of the time, and defInitely not romanticize it. It does not provide a role model for a relationship. p*rn does not create the inclination for BDSM, ones who already find that appealing are those that look for it.

  • This has to be a troll question

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    • Well I really would be extra cautious if a girl I was dating liked Twilight.

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    • LOL TROLLOLOLOL

    • <3 <3 <3

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