Guys- would you give up on chasing a girl if she perpetually (genuinely) busy?

I ask as I am super busy as I run two businesses and have a very active social life.

I find that I tend to get booked up without realising and tend to cancel, not respond for ages (i. e weeks) to guys.
I do make it clear that I am genuinely busy though.

The guys eventually go awol , but I was wondering why men don't have any empathy and thus don't keep chasing to lock a date down?

I ask also as my view was that nothing worth getting was ever easy?

For eg- I have been travelling for work for 4 weeks and out of the country. I told this guy that chased me awhile back about that, and that I would contact him when I got back. And he has just since ignored me...

Not intending to sound obnoxious with any of the above, but you know what I mean - I am just refering to the general/loose turn of phrase etc.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you're so busy that you don't have time to meet people, then you certainly don't have time for a relationship.

    If you're busy so often that trying to meet with you is like playing a raffle, it's a waste of our time.

    If you're so busy that it takes weeks to months to even get you to meet, then that's a pretty clear signal that you're not interested.

    Guys can empathize with you being busy. However, you need to empathize back that they aren't going to get anything out of waiting around for weeks for you to respond. It's not as though a guy who waits enough weeks (or months) to get a date with you is suddenly going to have his whole life fall into place magically- even if you two become a couple, you're still going to be just as busy. If you can't make the time for dating or a relationship, then there isn't much worth in dating you.

    You're definitely taking "nothing worth getting was ever easy" in the wrong context. Dating and relationships are difficult enough as it is; dating someone who can't make time for you just stresses both people out and breeds antipathy, not compassion.

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    • OK. I understand. I just wondered as some of my friends do the reverse. I. e wait around weeks for guys to respond, and then still go on dates with them. Also, I have extremes of men that I am not interested in, continue to chase me for like a year, despite lack of response on my part. So, all this confused me, hence my asking the question.

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    • And the guys I am referring to are all really good looking guys btw, so it may well be the case that they have moved on after the 1-2 mths we last spoke. Definfitley in the case of the guy that went awol that I texted earlier today. So weird though, as I texted back some other guy that I respond to sporadically, and he messaged back immediately and chatted for hours. The inconsistency in conduct is bizarre with guys, but the guy that snubbed me did last hear from me like 5 weeks ago, and I said id contact him when I got back (and he is super hot, but I hear he is still single) , but I can still kind of understand his snub :(

    • Cool, thanks!

What Guys Said 5

  • Well, first of all, I don't chase women. I ask them out, sure, but I don't play the game of chase. And if a girl is perpetually busy she wouldn't have time for a relationship anyway. Her work/life balance would be such that I wouldn't be interested in a relationship with her. That's not to say I'm not understanding about conflicts, things that come up that justify breaking a date, etc. It just means that I get the picture pretty quickly whether a girl is interested, and if it seems like she's not I move on.

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  • Because "I'm busy," is a euphemism for "get bent" to so many girls that guys usually don't need too much to get the hint.

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  • It's a dealbreaker fur me personally. Train bring, "busy" normally means I'm not important enough to make time for. I'll message her on Facebook or something and even if she logs on for just 10 minutes the last she could do is reply and then log offbut usually I'll fund that she'll log on, read message but not reply. I also find that even when I know that she is genuinely, honestly busy, I feel like out relationship still never get anywhere because we can't see each other often enough. Even if she was out of country, there is this wonderful thing called internet that you can use to keep in touch.

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    • I just don't like checking in every day etc and having to respond to messages every single day, unless they are friends and people I know well. Which is why I kind of don't encourage messaging me when Im busy with work and people that I know wel (friends etc). I just also assumed guys weren't into taking all the time etc (as I imagined good looking guys especially) to have diluted attention , owing to chasing and being chased by hot girls etc. So i saw my conduct as not taken as offensively, given that I assumed they would be busy themselves also with the above and other stuff. Kind of in the same way guys don't like needy women/behaviour.

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    • *assumed

    • No problem. Hopefully your schedule offers you time for a relationship in the future.

  • That's perfect for me because I'm kind of an introvert and use my spare time for business and hobbies.

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  • Hell. Why wait for one single fish, You get it?

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