So I told a girl I wasn't sure whether I liked her, the reason for this was is I only go out with girls I'd be happy marrying, I hadn't decided... ?

... I hadn't decided whether I was willing to go all the way with her yet, it's hard to judge your feelings and the girl well enough to know this before going out with her, but now I know that I would go all the way with her (if something doesn't crop up of course)

Thing is now she's unsure of whether I even want her at all, so should I explain to her why I said what I said? I hesitate because girls if a guy told you that he'd considered whether he'd marry you and decided he would, before you'd gone out with him you'd run a mile yes?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If I was her, I would be completely heart broken. I am sensitive and if a boy told me that I would think to myslef "So I'm not attractive" or "I'm not girlfriend material after all." I would suggest telling her why you told her that. If I was her, I would rather hear a explanation than having none at all. Based on the comment you put, I agree with you about the religion reason. I am Christian also and now a days, guys want to "smash and pass" and I HATE that. I do not want to commit adultery and have sex with someone and we end up breaking up. Or getting a divorce. You cannot rush into marriage. You marry someone whom you like. Marriage is a one time thing so choose wisely. :)

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What Girls Said 2

  • well to be honest it does sound like you don't want her at all. you're like the "all or nothing" - "marriage or bye" kind of guy. which is great because you think long-term, but sometime you just have to see where it goes and not think SO far ahead, especially if you're between 18-24.

    if i were her yeah i would think the exact same thing, completely heartbroken. explaining to her like how? basically "hey not sure if i wanna marry you but i think i still want you."

    no that's kinda... leading her on. just tell her you need to figure your feelings out, then actually do that, and if you don't see yourself long-term with her just tell her, let her go so she can find someone else. because right now it sounds kinda like you're leading her on, which sucks, it's heartbreaking and you're being the real villian here.

    and tbh, if a guy dates me telling me "he could see himself marry me" i would be properly freaked out, i'm 21 but i don't think about that stuff yet. i just wann see where things go and if they progress that far then they progress that far.

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  • this just gives me anxiety reading it...

    if a guy told me he had to think about whether he wanted to go out with me cause of marriage id just think he wasn't that into me. you shouldn't have to think about whether u like someone ur u dont, u either like them or u dont. period. marriage is too far down the line, its an insult to be told that you're not marriage material u shouldn't be leading someone on thinking theyre waiting for u while u decide if theyre marriage material... ure being shallow judging her without even getting to know her.

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    • You are actually calling me shallow? She's my friend ffs, shallow? nah sorry that's complete rubbish. Hell I really like the girl, no thought needed there. I'm a Christian and the Bible makes no distinction between bf/gf and marriage -there is no middle ground like everyone accepts today. Therefore marriage is the natural conclusion of successful dating.

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