I have a bad relationship with my mother, would it matter to you?

For the past few years, I've always had a bad relationship with my mother...

The reasons: she got out of a cancer and started not giving a sh*t about others but herself, she started drinking a lot more (3-4 bottles of wine a week minimum), she turned 50 and can't accept it, her menopause kicked in too.

I'm 21 and I totally got used to fights with her and everything. I built some kind of "helmet" against her attacks.

I just want to know. Let's say a girl is interested into me and I get her to my house and my mom sends random attacks. And she would totally feel that I'm not in a good relationship with my mother, would she push me away because of that?

It's just the relationship with my mom that's not good...

I graduated from college, have a successful career, my room is always clean, i'm a perfectionist, i'm a fitness model (workout addicted lol), i take care of myself, i'm very organised, i have my own business too, i read books and love learning, i don't drink nor smoke (weed on occasions because i'm always the dedicated driver), i'm responsible, confident & romantic. I sometimes am cheap but well, that's how you become rich! ;)

Anyways, tell me what you think...

JM

  • Yes, it would matter to me.
    14% (1)0% (0)12% (1)Vote
  • No, it wouldn't matter to me.
    86% (6)100% (1)88% (7)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • k here's the thing: i'm one of those people who'l lwant to help you and make you feel better if you're dealing with someone like your mom. like it wouldn't turn me off of you as long as you're everything else you say you are because you sound like a pretty great guy.

    BUT, BUT BUT BUT lol i wouldn't bring a girl to your place because then SHE would be dealing with your mom too, and that's just not necessary if it's like you just met her and is hanging out or just started dating, that's too much unnecessary drama.

    i think you should move out, and turn your mom and that situation into "something you deal with in life, but it doesn't affec your everyday life and your other relationships"

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    • Totally agree with you. But as an Investor, I see the fact that staying at my parent's home as an opportunity to advance faster in life while putting money aside for my projects.

      I invest a lot into real estate so I might end up living into one of my multiple revenue appartments. I'll check that out...

      Anyways thank you for taking the time to answer my question @xviiinfinitum

    • fair enough, 100%. i know a lot of people who live at home to advance faster and save more cash. i'm just saying then don't bring a girl home if you know your mom will rip both y'all a new one. other than that, i don't see it as a problem.

      my ex had a bad relationship with him mom and he completely cut her out, i just felt if anything i wanted to be with him more LOL 'cause he's alone without a mom.

    • Hahah yeah :p.

      Believe me I thought about moving out MULTIPLE TIMES xd! I get it, just don't bring her to my home lol

What Girls Said 4

  • We have different experiences. It would definitely matter to me if my mother and I have a bad relationship. My mother is my everything. She birthed me in this world. My mother took care of me. Taught me how to be a lady. How to speak correctly. You only get ONE mother on this earth and that is it. You might disagree with me because we have different experiences with our mothers. This is my opinion. Hope it helped a little bit. :)

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    • Yes I guess. I tried to solve our problems many times without success. I just now think there's nothing anyone can do to fix things. And you know, alcohol can do a lot of thing!

      Even with your mother, i'm sure if she became alcoholic, you would lose the relation you have with her...

    • Show All
    • 1. I never said I didn't love her.
      2. YOU are attacking me for something YOU didn't do right.
      3. There is a HUGE difference between "loving" and "dealing with eachother".
      4. If it's eating you alive, you shouldn't even think of giving advice to others about this.

      Good luck dealing with that. And I wouldn't be as selfish as you were with your grandma. Even if my mom is acting like sh*t with me, I would still wake up in the middle of the night to change her diaper if she'd be in the situation your grandma was into.

      Just like in a relationship. Sometimes you have arguments, but you don't stop loving the other one for those arguments. Love has nothing to do with arguments.

      You might end up understanding that when you GROW UP. As I can see, you're under 18, duhh I shouldn't even listen to you, I shouldn't even READ what you took the time to write, it's useless hah.

    • Attacking you how? I don't understand this at all. I'm explaining about MY life. So how is it that I am attacking you by explaining my life? Tell me something about that. And I should not give advice about this situation? I should because I'm going through the same exact thing you are. My father is older than your mother. He is an alcoholic. We get into fights. So yes, I know what it is like. I am not attacking you for MY mistakes. I DEAL with my father every blue moon so yes, I deal with him so don't even tell me what I go through. For your information sir, I told my mother she WILL be living with me. I will take care of MY mother. I learn from MY mistakes. Your calling me selfish? Are you kidding me? I'm selfish for waking up 4 times every night cleaning her and changing her? Yes, then that's very selfish. I just stated in my comment about loving someone regardless of arguments, so you just repeated what I already know and said. Now your attacking me calling me selfish. Save it.

  • Wouldn't/doesn't matter to me. Guy I'm seeing has a bad relationship with his mom. I like him for being honest and my focus is on how he treats ME.

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  • Pffff, I hate both of my parents. I really don't care.

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    • HAHAH, I do not "hate" her, I just believe she is mentally disturbed my stuff that actually doesn't matter. LOL.

      She makes bad decisions nowadays but i'm too young to tell her otherwise, so I just live with the fact that I have a bad relationship with her, instead.

    • Yeah but I'm just saying I have no right to judge lol.

      I honestly don't see why it would matter to anyone but you don't need a girl that will bug you about it. That'd get annoying.

  • I don't think I could date a guy with mother issues since they tend to be violent towards women

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    • What the hell, what an awful generalization you've just stated!

      I've never been violent, physically nor mentally...

      My mother neither! She is just crazy because of all she drinks nowadays, and it doesn't affect me at all.

      Anyways, good luck to you with dating guys lol...

What Guys Said 1

  • I don't have a relationship with my mom period because she was a deadbeat. She has tried to come around but I've denied respectfully because I heard what she's done when my two sisters who've tried to hash things out with her. She hasn't changed at all and I don't have time for drama. With that said, no girl I've ever dated has had a problem with it and were understanding, it was never a deal breaker. So any girl you pursue shouldn't have a problem with it either.

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