Moving Away from School Work with Crush?

Here is my issue. I am a really smart person in college (I'm not cocky about it or anything, it just is that way, for better or worse :().

The problem is, I really only talk about class work when I am at school, mainly because that is what everyone talks to me about - I do try to change the topic, but it always returns (not that there is anything really wrong with that - we are at college after all, but still).

I do have a lot of friends, but I have never had a GF. Now, I have a big crush on a girl, and I really want to attract her. She has been spending a lot of time with me, and we usually work together. Occasionally, she asks me a question about class, and I happily go out of my way to help, since that is the kind of person I am (I will help anyone, also, she is not taking advantage of me, she only asks rarely, and usually under extreme circumstances, she is pretty smart too).

What can I do to attract her more as a GF? I feel like she only views me as a smart person, not as a partner, when I am really not that way. She teases me for not having enough "fun". She always smiles and gives me solid eye contact when we talk, so I guess that is a good sign. I also have her number, and when we text, we talk for a while and don't really even mention school.

What do you guys think? Thanks in advance!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I relate strongly to your conundrum. Being of an intellectual mindset, maybe you give too much attention to this matter. You describe a pretty good balance between school and fun, in my opinion.

    Anyway, what's stopping you from meeting this girl at Starbuck's every day and taking her out to a movie perhaps every weekend? She's probably wondering this same thing. If you want to veer away from academic stuff, start making an actual physical list or outline of possible conversational talking points and memorize it. Teachers don't come to class not knowing what to say. You have a wide range of knowledge, no doubt, so maintaining a conversation with you should be a cinch. However, when you are talking with her, keep the subject on her until she tells you all about herself; that way she will consider that you know her well and therefore think more favorably of you. Be a good listener.

    I don't have to tell you the importance of body language with appropriate smiling and eye contact. You could, though, read a book about body language by anyone who has studied the subject academically.

    Again, since you are a smart guy you are probably worrying this whole thing too much--too much thinking and not enough action maybe. So get with it! Just say, "Let's get coffee at Starbucks" (okay okay maybe Seattle's Best et cetera). If she says she can't, you say, "Okay, maybe later," and her response to that will determine whether you should keep fishing for her. Practice being sociable (hard for intellectuals huh?) with impromptu conversations (keep it light) with people ranging from strangers to family if you want to improve your verbal and conversational skills.

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    • Thanks man for your help! It really does make me feel better - I really do tend to over-think things. Actually, we have been getting lunch together somewhat regularly (neither of us really ask, we sort of just go). I have been trying to get a little "touchier", moving in really close when I help her, etc. So, hopefully this will help a bit. Thanks again!

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