I don't know how to get a girlfriend?

Screw it, it's too hard, just too hard. I don't know what to do anymore. Everything about it is so over complicated, girls ask too much of me, I have my own issues right now, I can't give everything, because if I do, I want have anything. It doesn't even matter, when I give my all, I get rejected anyway. And they're not even really attractive girls, they're usually more like average or a bit above average if anything. I'd say I'd go for unattractive girls, but I can't force myself to like them (I've tried) and girls generally see me as nice looking before they get to know me I guess, that or I'm just a hideous genetic mistake that should be washed out of the gene pool. The rules of dating elude me, I don't know how to get confidence when I don't have much to be confident about in the first place, I can't just ask out a girl I don't know, in my mind that's flat out awkward, and it's hard for me to ask out a girl I can't connect with, even if they're attractive. Then, the ones I do connect with just ship me off to the friendzone, as usual. I'm pretty fed up at this point, girls are all too complicated, I'm wrong, I'm always wrong, it's always that I'm the next Elliot Rodger or some crap, so, whatever, it doesn't really matter anymore. For me, it was two failedsuicides that really got me thinking about all this, how stupid dating really is. Why should I go out there and meet people if I'll just get rejected? Ladies, knowing that girls are usually more emotional than men, why don't you see it from our point of view, guys are told "go out there, sure, you'll probably be rejected a hundred times before a single yes, but that makes all the difference", that's insane, who could have confidence after that, if that happened to you would you be so happy and positive? 10 rejections are bad enough, getting 1 yes out of 100 no's? I'd probably kill myself before getting the yes. So, screw dating, I'm a retard at it, I don't understand how flirting and attraction works, fuck it.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • feeling down on yourself huh?

    here's a story. I dated a girl for about two years. after a little over 1 year we moved in together. it was at that time the best relationship I ever had. about 1 year and 10 months in I decided I'd buy an engagement ring. we'd discussed being together, marriage, the future, etc. it seemed about as good a bet I had that it would work out, so planned (since we'd be spending a year in Thailand together) to propose on some romantic thai beach. a month after buying the ring she went on a vacation with friends in Las Vegas, a trip I paid for as she was in college and couldn't afford it on her own. I trusted her and cut the cord for that weekend telling her have fun, don't feel obligated to call me every few hours... well she came back and things were weird from the moment she walked in. but she said things were fine and for a month we carried on. I found out a month later (from my friend who's gf was my gf's friend) that she had cheated on me in Vegas. when I confronted her she lied and said my friend was trying to break us up. Eventually she came around and told me. so there I was, a two year relationship down the drain, an expensive ring in my pocket (btw you cannot resell an engagement ring for near what you spent).

    the point of the story? everyone goes through crap in their life. some people's crap is worse than others but crap is crap. there really is no sense in complaining about it and trying to get sympathy because everyone has their sob story. the best you can do is fall back on your principles and constitutions to move on and improve your life, as opposed to wallow in sorrow

    try meeting girls in different settings, maybe online dating, or asking friends if they know people. but don't give up and don't feel sorry for yourself because neither will take you anywhere

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What Girls Said 9

  • You need to grow up a bit, and so do the girls around you.
    Finding a girlfriend isn't (or shouldn't) be a goal in life, it's a perk. It should be natural and you should actually like hier (regardless of what she looks like).
    Dating is easy, or at least it should be. I've never dealt with rules of dating, it (in my experince) should be two people who care and want to be around each other.
    It sounds like to me that you're dealing with imature girls who don't know what they want, you sound pretty imature too. I suggest waiting until you're ready to be in a relatioship.

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  • Look you may get rejected now but once you grow up girls will be desperate okay? For now don't try to get a girl friend it's just going to be short term anyway. But that's my opinion and its your choice to follow.
    And i read previous comments and I too debate:)

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    • Yeah, I should've gone a bit easier on that other person, I think I gave her a bit of a mini meltdown...

    • Ahahahahaha don't worry she'll get over it

  • There are a few basic rules to attracting and keeping a gf or bf. Don't worry, they don't involve changing your personality or manipulating your desired partner. If u like, message me so I can guide u a little :)

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  • When you stop trying, that's when it usually falls into place. Get really busy get in to know yourself and what you like to do and hat makes you happy. Then go do those things whether by yourself or with friends. You will meet other people while participating in those activities. Maybe you'll meet a girlfriend there, maybe not. Maybe you might join a sports league and go out to eat after and meet the girl there. Either way, get busy loving yourself ad your own life and you'll attract the right persons. Also, consider what kind of girl you want to attract and ask yourself what kind of guy she'd be attracted to. Just a little advice, we girls want a strong man (most girls do), so if you come off as desperate and needy and whining about how you can't find a girl, we will sniff that out and sense it with our spidy senses and we will run away from that fast.

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    • The thing is, I feel really lonely, and I don't know what to do. It's different when you choose to be alone and when you don't have a choice.

  • 1. Its all about confidence
    2. You are 16 years old, so think about school. Im 18 and dated nor kissed a guy.
    3. In high school, everyone is trying to fit in ams date. How long is it going to lost tho.
    4. Girls are attracted to confident guys not some one who hates him self and wants to harm him self.
    5. As a college freshman I dont regret not dating any one in high school. Why? Because in college guys look much more attractive since they have grown up. They are also very mature. Same goes for girls.
    6. If girls friend zone you take it as an advantage and learn what different girls like and dislike in a guy. Learn how to filrt. If really close friends practice with them. It doesn't have to be a bad thing. Most of my friends are guys and I always ask them questions concerning dating.

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    • 3mo

      how can you be more confident? easier said than done!!

  • Ummm I don't understand the question... do. Want a girlfriend or not?

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    • Well, yes, but I don't know how to get one, it's too complicated. I've poured my heart out so many times, only to have it torun apart, I don't even have a heart to give anymore. I don't know how to be happy, or kind anymore, because, as I see it, I have no heart. I'm considering just removing myself from life so I can save everyone else much pain.

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    • Sorry if that seemed a bit intense, I'm skilled at debating so I can give a bit of a verbal lashing at times, and I was retry angry at the moment, so, I apologize.

    • I have no words none

  • Love yourself. People love people tht are comfortable in theyre own skin. Do what you love. Be you. And dont worry about whether u hav a girlfriend or not. And you will meet some one you really connect with that loves you.

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  • Okay, have fun then

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  • Your friends may be getting girls that are rich but that doesn't make it unfair to you. Those guys will never have a real relationship solely based on money. You have the chance to make a girl happy based on your personality which is worth everything. Use your personality and charisma to charm a girl you like. Don't go for a girl until you become friends with some and then you can start a relationship with someone who geniunely cares about you.

    [I'm 15 & have had a boyfriend for over a year now- he has money but doesn't brag about it and I'm the same- social class doesn't matter we don't live in the past anymore its 2014]

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    • I have many female friends, loved one of them. And, it does, almost everyone in my school is rich, and almost everyone in my school is white, they all pair off, and I'm left out. And, it's more than money, they're just plain better than me, that's all it is really. I'm not blonde, I'm not pale, I'm not really ripped or a sports star, and my eyes are just a boring dark shade, I don't have a chance with the girls hear, I can only be good enough to be a friend, that's it. Pretty much the only girls here that would date me would either be the really overweight ones, or the ones looking to piss off daddy, that's it, that's why I'm a loser.

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    • Well, I guess most of my insecurity comes from the fact that most of the people in my school are both rich and white, while I'm neither, that's a large part of the issue. The thing is, I don't really mind my school, I just don't think most, if any, of the girls here would like me. And the thing is, I take care of my body at least, I try to, and, it's hard for me to date someone I have to make myself attracted to. I'm not saying I only go for 10/10s, because I mostly go for average looking girls. It's just, I'm not good enough, I'm not like the other guys at my school, and I'm just not good enough.

    • I'm sure your good enough. Maybe try to do more clubs and then connect with people while inside your comfort zone. Or go out of your comfort zone and try a new class/club outside of school. :)

What Guys Said 5

  • Here's a thing:

    You need to understand this concept -- That, trying too hard, instead of getting you a girlfriend, it goes full circle into actually putting girls off. You need to find that sweet spot where you're trying, but not so hard that it puts girls off. So you find the top of this circle, if you will.

    But giving up removes you from that circle, meaning you have a 0% chance of getting a girlfriend. Anyway, you shouldn't care so much about looks. I mean, if an average looking girl you click with gets rejected because she's not that pretty in your eyes, then why are you going for pretty girls who are going to reject you in return? Again, goes full circle.

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    • I said I've been rejected by average looking girls.

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    • Thanks :3
      But, no, again, not trying removes you from the loop altogether, so you just need to try less. And don't think about it so often if you can.

    • Okay, it's just, I always here people at my school either talking about their girlfriend, or some wild party they were at, and it makes me angrier and angrier.

  • been there done that. keep more than one person around stick to the one that appreciates you for who u are (being akward, clingy, not in adonis shape whatever is ure issue). we all got issues but if u like a person truly than u don't mind these issues. some women feel incredibly entitled bcs they think they deserve something. guess what. lower ure expectations and look at what's important. if u are shallow, nonchalant and downright abusive who wants to be with u. communication is the key.

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  • Man, it's all about you. Be more confident and don't think about how hard it is. It's hard, yeah. But anyway, don't give up and go on! It was waaay much more difficult to me to even ask a girl out. And I found a way out. Have you tried online dating? You have to try more and more. I'd like to recommend you some websites.
    https://www.okcupid.com
    http://www.originclub.com
    Also, try using apps like Tinder or Hot or Not.
    Don't give up and good luck! ;)

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  • gotta chill out man, life isn't all about having a gf. the question you really got to ask yourself is, who am i?

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  • Getting a gf is always hard, unless you both like each other

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    • Then it's impossible.

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