Do you think girls who have one night stands when single but "withhold" sex while dating are 'trifling' when compared to women who don't do this?

*This confuses me slightly, because I don't get why someone who thinks sex is "more" than just a physical act would date a girl who gives it up so easily.

*Please don't just answer but explain your position on why you've come to some conclusion.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • it means they are transitioning from being whores to giving off the image being virtuous women worthy of a committed relationship. While this manipulative and unfair to partners past and present, there's little you can do about it.

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What Girls Said 11

  • Sex means two different things in those contexts. Most women know that if you want to have a solid relationship with a guy, you should try to resist the urge to bang him because he won't respect you. You're proof of that mentality. However, women have needs too, just like men, and when single, do exercise their right to have casual sex. These two types of sex are simply perceived to be different and to have different goals. It isn't trifling to withhold sex in order to develop a closer attachment to a guy. It's trifling to be a guy who thinks that just because a girl has had sex with others, he has a right to sex too, asap.

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    • Resist the urge to bang him EARLY ON, i should say

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    • @harakiri

      Never mind though, if you suggest suicide to someone then there is no point in discussing anything with you.

    • LOL. Everything is 'an issue'. Way to assume that I don't have people I care about who have attempted it, or people in my family who have died from terminal illnesses. You can't ban me from speaking lightly of a subject. It's within my rights. People joke about dark subject matter all the time. If you can't handle that then you need some serious help.

  • It makes no logical sense to me.
    They seem to disconnect thier bodies from their emotions because they don't seem to know that their emotions are part of their body as science and ommon sense would dictate. If they can prevent emotional attachment with a stranger then they have zero ability to connect with a SO. You're either a psychopath/sociopath or you're not there is no such thing as an emotionally unaffected non-psychopath/sociopath when it comes to sex. Non - psychopathathic/sociopathic women who engage in this are just plain stupid to be blunt.

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  • I don't get why people have one night stand but by "withholding sex" a lot of guys mean she doesn't feel like having sex during an argument and interpret it as withholding it to get her way.
    When really I think it's quite understandable you can't just fight with someone and then make love half an hour later

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    • I don't mean withhold sex for an argument's sake, I mean withhold it and say "I don't know well enough yet." But they have a one night stand with a man they barely know, seems a bit manipulative to me as well.

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    • well in that case idk, I would think that they read or heard somewhere that men don't take women seriously who put out easily so if they want to be with a guy, they don't

    • Its true, "easy" women generally aren't seen as prudent as those who are less easy. But don't "lie or pretend" you aren't easy when you have been that way in the past.

  • The girls that have one night stands thought the guy was worth sex on the first encounter when most guys aren't.
    I don't know about the 2nd part. I haven't encountered that. But since women control when sex is going to happen, I assume that people just deal with it.

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    • @bubbletrouble
      Yeah and "most" women aren't attractive enough to marry but they're good for sex. Turn your situation around would you want to date a guy who thought you were attractive enough for sex but not attractive enough to be his wife?

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    • Not obsessed, just trying to clear something up. It doesn't make sense that you change your values. If you value a guy who doesn't slut around then you shouldn't either and vice versa for me. Don't lie and say you're someone who doesn't sleep around when you do. Relationships built on lies fail, the foundation is weak. Only "evil" people would want to live such a lie anyway.

      But I guess the only solution is "dumping" the girls to the side that are likes this!!
      Guys have no other options, than to dump these women once they see how that girl who seemed like she was "prude, smart, and patient" was really just a sl*t" in disguise.

    • I think this is accurate. Which is why I'd full of she's had casual sex but wants to wait with me. I don't blame her. She's just not -that- into me.

  • I don't do this, but I understand why women do it. If anything it's a compliment, she values you enough to jump right into bed with you. She actually cares and wants to get to know you. Also most people do this, it's called casual sex and relationships

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    • You are using woman-think, which centers on affection. Men are not going to understand that situation, because that would require them to use woman-think, which men don't do, because men are men. Look at the situation using man-think, which centers on respect. When Jane sucks and fucks Jacob but not John, John perceives that as respect for Jacob and disrespect for John. Men will not take disrespect as a compliment.

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    • No more random hookups would be great. When that happens, John and Jacob will be held to the same standards and the better man will get the affections. When that happens, John will get more affection and the Jacobs of the world will want to become Johns. That is the way it should be.

      The reason you date women isn't that they're simpler. Men are just as simple once you understand the language of respect. You just don't want to put in the effort to understand and accommodate manhood and respect. In this respect, you are like most American women. By dating women, you get to avoid putting in this one-time effort and just date people who are like various versions of yourself. That just strikes me as narcissistic and lazy, to be honest with you.

    • @jesseray or I dye women because I'm partially gay, and am sexually attracted to them

  • I think that different people do different or similar things for different, personal reasons. It's difficult to generalize & prevents you from really getting to know the individual when you consciously or subconsciously label their behavior without asking them. I have friends who have done this and I have friends who would never do this. Perhaps a female hi is sexually free when single may be so because she's not interested in pursuing something long term with the guy. Then again, she might, but she may be scared, insecure, or any number of reasons. Then, on the other hand, the same girl might withhold sex when in a relationship or in the courting/dating phase because she may really like the guy. Subconsciously, many women - because of cultural and societal stereotypes - don't want to sleep with a guy they like too soon for fear that he will think she's too loose and then lose interest in her. However, there's no way to tell for sure unless you ask the girl.

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  • Yes Enough Said

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  • I have had casual sex before so I guess I'm supposed to let every guy I meet hit it. Sorry but some people learn from their mistakes.
    You might interpret it as with holding sex but I think that you only say that because you are sexually frustrated.
    You see a guy who gets girls easily wouldn't get so frustrated like that because sex is readily available.
    I think it's stupid to with hold sex but at the same time I think it's stupid to judge someone's current choices on their past choices.
    So called virgins on here who would gladly give up their butt hole and their mouth for dick do the same thing too,
    There are even questions on here from virgins who openly admit that they do that

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    • Yeah 'withhold' was a bad word to use I should have said "wait".

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    • @Roarke , this is the prime example of the women you are referring to, LOL.
      I mean who wants to marry this type of woman, how low do your values have to be?

    • i've been shitcanned for this one before...

      What's the difference between a woman who has lost her virginity and a light bulb?

      You can unscrew a light bulb.

  • Speaking for girls who do this- I think they are willing to have casual sex because they KNOW there are no emotions attached. With a relationship, feelings are attached so girls want to wait to see if the guy sticks around long enough before they but emotional sex into it.

    I had sex one time, and one time only with one of my best guy friends. It was simple because I knew I wouldn't be risking hurt. However, with my current guy, I'm waiting a bit because we're still in the beginning stages of dating and I don't want to emotionally give myself and have him ultimately change his mind. Also, that one time of having sex kinda set me straight into realizing it should be important to wait so from now on, I'm waiting for anyone to happens to come around and definitely waiting until I'm in a relationship.

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    • I hope he stays after he finds out about that past guy.

    • Thank you, he is staying. He's done it too. Sorry we don't base how compatible we are by the ONE guy I slept with.

      I'm so sick of the slut-shaming. Seriously? I have sex ONE time and I'm automatically written off as unwanted goods? Shame on you.

  • Most people who engage in casual sex have sex quickly in a relationship, too.

    For me personally, I've only had casual sex with people I've known for a long time. If I wait a month to sleep with a bf, it's because he is still a stranger. Whereas non-relationship sex I've had has been with guy friends I'd had for years. A lot of my friends have had similar experiences. So really, the casual sex takes longer to develop in many cases.

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    • That's makes sense because you're being consistent.

  • I'm sort of with you on this. I mean I'm all for women doing what they want to do, free thinking or whatever, but you've got a point. If you're gonna screw around when your single, it's kind of unnecessary to all of a sudden become this 'I'm so virtuous I want to wait' kind of girl. That's probably how some guy found you, and it's like false advertising in a way. I guess if you're one way single and another in a relationship that just sort of makes sense, but my opinion comes from prople I know. Typically if a guy wants to know you knowing that you aren't just interested in doing it, he'll know that already when you get together; conversely if you're as loose as you want to be when you meet a guy, don't expect him to not being trying to get it early on when you get together, it's sort of what he's come to expect. It just sorta makes sense for that to happen.

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    • Yeah, there is "inconsistency" in what you value from situation to situation it seems like a person with "consistent" value typically has stronger values.

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    • thank you. glad you think this helps.

    • It did, sweetie : )

What Guys Said 7

  • I recognize some of them are doing because they know some men won't respect them if they have sex fast. But that seems a dangerous game to me side those guys also won't date them if they know what they're like. Why would they want to date guys whose respect is based on a lie?

    I don't care if a woman has hooked up but if I'm with her and she isn't wanting to hookup on whatever the fastest timeless she's ethically okay with, I don't want to be with her. I don't want a relationship with someone who isn't that excited bout me.

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  • I believe relationships should begin with a waiting period before sex occurs. Even so, I see no reason why a man should form a relationship with a woman who will put out for men who do not get in a relationship with her but will not put out for men who will. That's inconsistent in a way that favors men who do not get in relationships. It incentivizes men to behave in ways (such as to become relationship avoiding) that are ultimately harmful to women. If a woman behaves in that kind of woman-hurting way, and relationship-man-hurting way, then I have zero respect for her. Having no respect for her, I would not get into a relationship with her.

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  • Girls do one night stands cause they can't get enough of it later. izzy2102

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    • LOL! You ever see one of those "single" 40-50 year old broads w/ sagging tits trying to get the "D" from some young teenage guy who just swallows that lump in his throat thinking "She is a woman, which is a plus, but do I really want to see a 50 year old p*ssy?"

    • Well find a dick that a anit sagging

  • All women have some sense of entitlement and they should not because they are worthless

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  • Women, and men, who sleep with people outside of a relationship, are pitiful

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  • It's because those women want to slut it up in their youth, then settle down with a nice, stable guy. They make him jump through hoops to get sex because they aren't really attracted to him like they were to the bad boys.

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  • It means they aren't marriage material to the guys that take sex seriously, or to the guys that respect women that are comfortable with their sexuality. They are just dishonest, and immature for playing games.

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