Thoughts on "nice guys"?

So you all know the saying "nice guys finish last"... well that seems to have been the story of my life thus far. I mean, I'm not shy or quiet, but I'm more intellectual than sports minded, and I'm only 5'7". It sounds great and all to hear "Don't change yourself to try to impress other people. You'll find someone who loves you just the way you are." But in reality, only 1 girl out of the 7 that I've dated actually loved me the way I was, and even that didn't last forever.

What I just want to know is, if women want to be respected and treated right, why do so many of them pick the stereotypical "jock" or "trashy/rough guy" over the "nice guy"? Is there really any hope for "nice guys" or are we just going to HAVE to make ourselves be more athletic and type-A to get the attention of the ladies?

  • I would date a "nice guy"
    86% (19)33% (2)75% (21)Vote
  • I'm not interested in "nice guys"
    14% (3)67% (4)25% (7)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • what is the difference between a nice guy and a jerk? while the nice guy has all the good qualities he lacks THE CONFIDENCE i'm not talking about over self esteem but the good amount is just , girls are fragile and insecure , so thus the man needs to be waay confident !
    Other than that nice guys have it all, if he's cute and has a decent job that sounds even better!
    Know one thing :when a woman wants to get married she wants the nice guy , a prick is what teens want !!! so don't worry that much , and have fun with your life!
    Intellectual is deep , and beautiful !!!

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What Girls Said 13

  • My thoughts on "nice guys".
    Nice guys are typically less attractive, less desirable men who overcompensate by being extremely nice. Their physical looks or level of confidence may not be a strength so they brand themselves desirable because of their ability to be nice. Which is ironic seeing as how mean "nice guys" may become if they don't get their way.

    I think it's absolutely unintelligent to claim that there are only "nice guys" and "bad boys" in this world -_- There aren't just "nice guys" and "athletic jocks". That argument seems to be simple denial for "nice guys" who just don't want to admit that they are generally not commonly desired by women. I also think that most of these "nice guys" are really just entitled, think they're superior for being "nice", and act like having the most basic human attributes means they have a right to a woman's affections. That is false.

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    • Well here's the thing... I am not trying to overcompensate for my looks or confidence level by being overly nice, I'm just nice by nature. I may do a little bit of friendly teasing with a girl but I don't want to act like I'm so high and mighty and that she is below me. You can take a look at my profile picture and judge for yourself how my looks are, I've been ranked between a 6 and a 9, so my self confidence is high at best and medium at worst. And another thing, lots of women say they want someone smart, but my intelligence has been a turn off to a lot of girls who say that I'm over their head half of the time. I'm not saying that to sound cocky either, it's just been my experience.

      I will concede that you are right that there are not simply 2 categories of men, but I would say that it's hard to find someone with only the good qualities of both categories, without the bad. MOST good looking men tend to be assholes, and MOST good looking women tend to expect too much. It's true :/

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    • I may be talking to you through these comments, but they are really meant for everyone. A large percentage of the guys out there in the world and on this site feel the same way I do, and I'm just being a broadcaster. While my message may sound negative, its because I'm addressing real life problems that are widespread. I hope that some not-so-savory women will read what I've said and realize the truth in it and actually make some good changes in their lives to become better people. Yes, I do intend it to be a guilt trip for them because that may be the only thing that could really open their eyes. I won't bother you anymore with my comments. I'm just a mouth piece for all the men in the world who have been unfairly treated and put down by countless cold women. I really want to love women, but many make it hard to do.

    • You sound slightly egotistical like you're some savior for "nice guys". -_- it's real simple: let people grow at their own pace instead of getting flustered because they're not where you want them to be. If a woman is that way then that's her business. Stop trying to make it yours and every other "nice guy's" business too. Don't get so hung up on a female or situation because it's not playing out the way you want it to.

  • Your situation really isn't unique. You can be a nice guy without being a doormat, and comparing yourself to other men with no knowledge of their personalities is childish. Just because you're single doesn't mean that every not single man has to be better than you. Someone just married Charles Manson so that will never be true. Keep being nice, but don't be a pushover. And don't concern yourself with others.

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  • OKAY, so here comes a great opinion! ;) Basically us girls DO NOT DISLIKE NICE GUYS. In fact we love them... they are our best friends our shoulders to cry on. We can text them and their reply makes us smile. WE LOVE THEM OKAY? :) But you see the thing is, and this is where in my opinion I think a lot of "nice guys" go wrong is that for most of them (in my opinion anyway) they lack confidence. They sit and smile at the girl they like, they hold back with their feelings and are not so hasty to whisk us of our feet. The mean ones are more decisive and with both Men and Women alike we all share one thing in common. We go for confidence. Be a very CONFIDENT nice guy and you will strike gold. Trust. P. s Don't stop being nice. Us Girls gotta believe some good ones exist :)

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  • Most self proclaimed nice guys are assholes, they have this entitlement attitude because they're 'nice guys'. Which makes them not nice guys.

    However, some of the nicest guys I know call themselves cunts, I would date those guys no problem.

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  • We would all date a nice guy because we want to be treated properly. But in the end we fall for the jerk because that's quite from evolution. You know.. lady monkeys choosing the biggest, the strongest, the bravest, smartest, best etc. I personally think that a strong personality is all that's needed. But remember that a life-time love story is very rarely formed if there's no drama, misery and tears. (That's a law)

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  • I don't like "nice guys". "Nice" means nothing, that's the first lesson my English teacher ever gave to me. I like guys who are smart, humorous and confident, that's all. I don't know you, really, so I can't say if I'd date you or not (I'd need to meet you in person to actually assess that; I'm not good at reading people over the internet).

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  • It works both ways, my female friends seem to like the jerks and almost all my male friends (no matter what type of guy they are) seem to like the sluts... I only one exception to each gender and they deserve to be together, honestly...

    I think both genders exaggerate on this situation...

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  • Thier great as you dont have to worry about them being unfaithful jerks but sometimes if your too nice it gets annoying and thats why girls go for bad boys because they can bring excitement and thrill into your life but if you have a little of both then that a keeper in my book

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  • i date nice guys. only. but they have to be cute. the end.

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    • Yeah, but what kind of nice guys are they? As a nice guy I don't agree with having sex before marriage.

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    • Yea sean1234 I don't agree with having sex before marriage either. Granted I understand why that's such a hard thing for most people to do, but I personally follow that practice for religious reasons.

  • Favourite kind of guy :3

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  • I like genuine nice guys. Not guys that are just nice to get laid.

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  • Well I like guys who are nice to me, but that is hardly enough of a reason for me to want to date/sleep with him. he has to be way more than nice.

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What Guys Said 6

  • They want a man they find attractive who treats them well.

    Most self described "nice guys" are engaging in behaviors that make them less attractive, and are actually manipulative. At the same time, they are avoiding attractive behaviors because they're 'jerk' line is off in their head.

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  • This:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rZu-tBi7DM

    There is a huge misconception on nice guys, and what people think nice guys are. This guy I feel captures it.

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    • I actually saw the whole video. I subscribed. Thank you for sharing.

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    • Man that guy is long winded. Being nice means your always nice to people no matter what. As a nice guy I always am, unless someone shoves their insanity/immorality in my face. Then that's where I draw the line and start being annoyed.

    • Ya I could agree that is long winded, but I could also argue that a lot of the people that NEED to see this do really need it spelled out for them with every possible scenario as this guy does. You find it long winded because you get it already.

      If someone tried to tell you the step by step rules of multiplication by breaking it down into steps of addition, you would think it's long winded too... because you already know how multiplication works or at least have an understanding of it.

  • The problem is that the term 'nice guy' doesn't even mean nice anymore and it usually means almost anything else negative that isn't to do with being nice. I noticed that a lot of females associate the 'selfish' and 'I only act this way because I "expect" something in return' traits with being a 'nice guy'. Some use the world 'nice guy' to describe a boring loser with no substance in their personality. A final example would be that a 'nice guy' could actually mean a asshole for some people. The term 'nice guy' can literally still mean 'nice guy' but females would use the term 'good guy' instead.

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  • I have to admit, I have been getting lazy lately, but I don't work out to impress the ladies, it shouldn't be the only reason, you should do it for your health. I blame my singleness on lack of money. If I had the money I could afford to go out all the time and meet girls.

    Anyways, DUDE!! You're under 24 and have been with 7 girls? You lucky bastard! I'm 32 and have never had a girlfriend.

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    • Well there was nothing really lucky about it, since none of them worked out. I'm in the same boat as you right now, I just got my degree and I'm searching for a full time job, and I feel like I won't be able to find another GF until I get that taken care of. You can say I'm lucky because I dated 7 girls, but I don't feel lucky because all 7 of them broke my heart. I'm ready for something that will last forever, not getting my hopes up and then having them dashed, and then repeating the same process over and over again.

    • Yeah, that's very true. I guess I mean you had 7 chances, each one that could have, but didn't work out. Sometimes I can tell when a girl is not right for me, even If we are attracted towards each other.

  • I'm a nice guy and fuck you. Being nice implies being nice to other people and to that I say fuck you.

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  • I would never marry a woman who dated "bad boys" in the past. They simply don't make good, caring wives.

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