Getting back with a cheating ex?

If you still have feeling for them, should you ever get back with an ex who has cheated? Does anyone have any experiences positive or negative that they'd be willing to share?

I mean I still love him but it seems stupid to go back when he cheated on me.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • just let it go it's not worth it whether or not you have feelings for him. From now on if you weren't already before you are most likely gonna be nervous about every move he makes. who wouldn't be? If you're not with him or talking to him you're gonna be asking yourself "what is he doing now?" "is he still talking to that person?" etc. and it's a lot of stress.
    I had my long term boyfriend cheat on me. I got back together with him anyways even though I was so hurt, pissed, confused & sad. It was humiliating because people at school knew about it because the girl decided to go and tell people it happened. I couldn't look at him the same way. I couldn't touch him and not think "you touched her too" Honestly I gave him a hand job and couldn't not think "is she better at it than me?" "can she make you cum faster than I can?" It was very damaging to my self esteem and I was constantly comparing myself to her in other ways as well ("is she more fun than me?" is she prettier than me?" "does he think she's a better person?") I was paranoid and nervous as hell constantly looking out my windows to see if I could see him walking to her house (she lived down the street from me) I cried all the time about it I was so hurt. I was trying to be a good girlfriend still but at the same time the memories of him telling me what happened kept coming back to my mind and I would randomly get so angry at him from the pain and lash out at him about it. It was so hard to trust him anymore, of course. I had feelings for him still but I couldn't completely feel the same way as I did before. Eventually I just couldn't take it anymore so I got my shit together, decided I deserved better than that and dumped him.
    After the trust is gone in a relationship, there is basically nothing left. You can try to make it work again but what happened is always gonna be the "elephant in the room". It is so painful. It is possible of course to move on and feel better and regain your self esteem though.

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What Girls Said 8

  • Once a cheater always a cheater... And I mean that by saying she cheated on you before you are willing to forgive her, what's stopping her from doing it again. If she cheated on you that mean she doesn't actually have feelings for you. I have cheated before and I realized why I did it. It was because I didn't actually like that guy, but I felt like I did because he was so in love with me, but I moved on and actually found a guy I would never do that to...

    I am probably the only girl on here willing to admit she has cheated and I am doing it to let you know, a person only cheats because they are in a relationship they are finding it hard to get out of.

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  • I have some experience with getting back with my ex and it didn't turn out very well. I actually broke up with him it was last year in August 2013 I broke up with him on the first week of school. We didn't talk for 6 months. I found out over the summer in summer 2013 that he was cheating on me. And how I knew, I found him and a pic of some girl on his page that said look at me and my baby. And it just tore me to pieces I trusted him so much and now my trust for him was broken. I couldn't believe my eyes, like how could he have done that to me. 6 months we didn't talk, he came back to me in January 2014. He said he loved me and gave me a big hug, I wanted to say let me go but I guess when I saw him I forgot how he treated me etc. He lied to me, he cheated on me, and he told me to go hell. Then in March 2014 he broke up with me right out of the blue and he made me cry I tried to hold it in but I tugged onto his arm and he just was like i have to get back to my friends. I was broken and weak for a couple of weeks and months but with time I healed and I haven't talked to him since. He doesn't deserve me after the way he treated me and it just took me time to see that. My advice is do not get back with an ex that cheated on you because mine pretty much just led me on and treated me like I was nothing to him as in reality he didn't really love me, he just loved the "thoughts of having me." I can't stand guys who cheat and can't just be a man and step up to the plate. Please take my advice and don't get hurt like I did because you will regret it I know I did. Looking back I wish I had listened to my gut it would've told me right from wrong. No matter how much you love if he cheated on you, mistreated you in anyway you don't deserve him and he doesn't deserve you. My ex treated me like a dog, he said he loved me and he couldn't even show me that he loved me. He's more a player like he doesn't know what a relationship is yet he wants a gf.

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    • @CampAsChristmas I understand how tempting that can be when they cheat on you yet you still love them with the little pieces. Its been about 6 months since my ex and I have talked we haven't said a single word to each other. I understand you still love him but usually if they cheat on you once they will do it again trust me. Go with your gut, don't chase him let him chase you. Act like he doesn't exist that's what I do. If he begs you to come back don't go back because you'll just get hurt like me, but I've healed.

  • Never take back a person who has betrayed your trust. They obviously do not care about you or your feelings. If you continue to make yourself available to this loser you are cheating yourself and possibly missing out on the right person. NEVER EVER Love Anyone More than Yourself , YOU come first and no one is more important Love yourself first and you will never be anyones doormat!

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  • No, no, no, no, and no again. If they cheated there was obviously something about the relationship that wasn't working for them and it also shows poor decision making on their part. Whatever was broken isn't likely to have changed and taking them back after cheating tends to send a signal that cheating will be accepted. It's very likely that the same thing would just happen all over again.

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  • I'm sorry that happened to you :( I've done it (going back to a cheater, not cheating) and honestly it just never ends well. They say they'll change and don't, they just end up doing it again. If they really cared in the first place they never would have done it. It's really painful but moving on to someone better who won't cheat is for the best. I wasted 3 years of my life on that shit.

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  • Let him go.

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  • If I knew someone cheated on me I couldn't forgive it.

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  • I wouldn't recommend it, if they did it once, there is no guaranty they won't do it again.

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What Guys Said 3

  • my second long term gf cheated on me. I tried to take her back but it didn't work.

    I just couldn't grow to trust her like I had before she cheated. I'm fairly certain (knowing her now) that she would've cheated again, but even when she hadn't I simply couldn't shake my distrust.

    That is the biggest hurdle to me, is the forgive and forget. I was able to forgive but i could not forget. I held resentment of her because she'd broken the trust i had.

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  • If your trust in this particular person was proven a waste, why would you want to go back? If you do, You are just proving that you are willing to tolerate dishonesty. Someone defies my trust in them, They may do it once, but they will never get the chance to do it again.

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  • No. it's gone more than likely be trut issues

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