Should I attend to my boyfriend's 21th birthday?

I'm, of course, invited to my boyfriend's upcoming 21st birthday. He and his mother want me to go. I just have a few problems: 1. I would be the only girl among his group of friends, 2. They are all of age except of me, and 3. They'll most likely be drinking. I do not want to rain on his birthday plans. He should spend it how he wishes, and enjoy it. However, I do not feel comfortable with it. I do not like alcohol, and I'll be surrounded by guys. Plus, I do not have any female friends to invite since they'll be on vacation.

Should I go, because I have to or would it be okay to opt out?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeah you should go, dont over think all that, its your boyfriends birthday, im pree sure he would love to spend that day with his friends and you :) dont need to worry about those other guys cause you have your boyfriend there, just be confident and have fun! :)

    • My problem is the drinking. I'd rather not be around that type of social situation, so instead of "raining on his parade", I'd rather let him have is fun, and I stay out of it. I have a legitimate reason for me having a problem with the whole drinking idea, but I'd rather not explain it.

    • ohhhh woops i forgot about that part, i think you have your decision already "I'd rather let him have is fun, and I stay out of it."
      just plan some other day with him to celebrate it, if he knows you well he would understand your choice :)


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What Guys Said 3

  • You should opt out. If he or his mother were thinking of you, they would have invited the other guys' girlfriends. You'll be uncomfortable with all guys, all that alcohol and no female friends.

  • Opt out, but do something special when its just you two next time.

  • You should give that mother fucker a threesome.

    • Thanks for the useless comment.

What Girls Said 5

  • You don't have to go if you think it would be an uncomfortable situation for you. If you explain this to your boyfriend, I'm sure he would be understanding and not want to put you in an awkward position.

    • He's trying to find reasons for me to go. And he would still want to drink.

    • Well you shouldn't be forced to do anything you don't want to go. Just tell him you want him to go and have a good time but you would like to opt out and you will celebrate with him, just you two, another night:)

    • Thanks!

  • You can have your cake and eat it too... why not do something else with your boyfriend before (or after) he goes out and parties with his friends?

    (preferably before...'cause if he gets wasted with his friends, it may make any type of intimacy afterwards weird and awkward, lol)

    No one said he has to just do ONE thing to celebrate, lol (and 21 is an important birthday, so I'm sure you'd both feel bad if you didn't see each other at all)

    • ... and no one said you have to celebrate THAT night... i've seen a lot of folks celebrate their birthdays on a different day because they have work or studying or something... so that'd give you two the entire night

      (personally i think "21" should be celebrated on multiple days anyway, lol)

  • It depends on what you really want to do. You can go for a short while just to give him a gift & wish him a happy birthday. When you're there, you can just drink pop & stay away from the alcohol. Then leave early, & you won't have to be the only girl there.

  • I think you should still go. And if you don't feel comfortable then plan something before and/or after for just the two of you ;) You should be with him on this day, birthdays are an important day I believe so do what you can. He can just have a guys night out then when he gets home he can come home to you :)

    • Yeah, I like how you put it. He can have his "guys night out" without having a girl there lol thank you!

    • Anytime :) Just make sure you at least do something for him so he doesn't feel like he isn't loved by you :)

  • You should go and actually have fun. Ask if you can bring a girlfriend or two?

    • I would like to, but Idt I'll have a good time just because I know how I am under social settings. Being surrounded by guys would make it even more uncomfortable. And Idt I'll be able to bring a friend even if I was allowed to bring someone.