Thoughts on dating a single mom?

I'm mid 20s, have a great job that I love, going to grad school and supporting my baby and I all by myself. Her father and I are not in contact at all (he decided he didn't want part of this so basically made me move out of our house when I was pregnant and it was the best thing ever, I don't feel like a victim at all), anyway my daughter is almost 2 years old and I'm pretty attractive, never really had issues with self-esteem, but I'm just wondering am I better of just dating older men with children or are they still men out there who wouldn't have a problem dating me? I'm trying to get back into dating and just want to know what is the deal with men these days? :)

I'm very open about having a daughter, I'm a great mom and I'm very independent. Thanks in advance for the thoughts!

Updates:
Oh yeah and I'm Mexico-Brazilian! :D speak three languages! Spanish, Portuguese, and English of course :)

0|0
2|20

Most Helpful Guy

  • I started dating a girl with a 2.5 year old son, it was the first time I'd ever been with anybody that had a kid. We were together until he was 5 and it was the best relationship I've ever had. I went from hanging out with friends everyday to raising a family and having that as my first priority... before I knew it, I loved the kid every bit as much as I did his mother. Wouldn't trade that time for anything and dating somebody knowing they have a kid isn't a deal breaker at all. Hope this helps

    1|0
    0|0
    • Thank you for sharing your experience! It does help to know not all men are judgmental of my current circumstances, I'm just dealing with the cards I've been dealt with and doing the best I can! :)

What Guys Said 19

  • Most common thought among young men is that you are asking them to be a father, and to some extent that's true. If you're thinking relationship, you want a guy that is a good father figure right now.
    If you're thinking nothing serious or just dating around that's fine, because it's low stress and the guy can't get too upset when he comes second to the child, because he's just not that important in your life yet.
    Where I'm at in my life right now, I would not date a single mother. But in the future when I'm in a more stable situation, I wouldn't mind. I would just be nervous about how the relationship with the child would play out with respect to me.

    2|1
    0|0
    • Even the ugliest Brazilian I've ever met was hot, so I'm sure you're a site to behold. : ) I wish you the best

    • Ha thank you, that's very sweet! I appreciate your comment!

  • If you're in your mid 20's you should still be able to find someone your own age who wouldn't mind you having a kid. It won't be easy cause when a guy reachs his mid 20's that when they make their decision to either grow up and be an adult or they hold on to there youth for dear life riding all the waves right into there 30's where most of them crash and burn. But I wish you the best of luck

    2|0
    0|0
  • I am 23 and have no children of my own and I would be happy to have a relationship with a woman with a child or children. I understand that your child is your life and comes first. You must be one amazing woman to be going to grad school and supporting your daughter by yourself. :)

    2|0
    0|0
    • Thank you! You give me hope that men can actually appreciate me for who I am as a person and not so much just a mother. I'm very hardworking to say the least, and now that I am a mother, my drive is through the roof! Thank you again :)

    • You're welcome :) Haha there is no doubt you are hardworking and I praise you for what you are doing. I wish you luck on finding the right guy :)

  • I personally would not have a problem with it and I'm 23. Everyone's different, so some may not like it, while others will. The best advice I can give is to not let it get to you, don't take it personally, keep trying to see what's out there, and most importantly, keep giving your daughter lots of love.

    0|0
    0|0
  • SOME YOU AGE WOULD LOOK AT IT AS A EXTRA RESPONSIBLITY AND STILL WANT TO GO OUT AND PLAY AT THE DROP OF A HAT SOME ARE NOT THAT WAY HOWEVER BEING OPEN ABOUT IT IS GOOD BUT NEVER NEVER ACCEPT A GUY THAT doesn't ACCEPT YOUR CHILD AND IF HE doesn't ACCEPT HER HE IS REJECTING PART OF YOU OLDER GUYS ARE A LITTLE MORE OPEN BUT ITS NOT A ONE SIZE FITS ALL ANSWER BUT SOME ONE WILL REALLIZE WHAT A KEEPER YOU R AND you'll HAVE HIS HEART JUST BE YOU

    2|0
    0|0
    • I couldn't read this because it feels like you're screaming...

    • Thank you! I really appreciate your advice. I would never compromise my daughter's wellbeing for the sake of having a partner, which is precisely why i've never made an attempt to reconnect with her father. He is not the best man out there. I'm definitely careful, yet open to meeting someone who can accept me for who i am and also who can be the right fit to form a family with my daughter and I. The older i get, the more i realize that it's not just about finding a man who wants to date me, but also a man who can be good enough to be a father to my daughter and a husband to me. It's true that age is no longer the best indicator of maturity, but i actually have always been attracted to older men as it is, so I'm kinda going for that. Thank you for the sweet advice! :)

  • I praise you for taking on lot responsibility plus raising your baby
    i see no problem in dating a woman who has a child and I'm opened
    to all races, their culture backgrounds, not all guys are abusive / pedophiles
    before i would meet a woman i would give her a background criminal check
    so she can see what type of guy i am but i highly respect a mother and child
    in all aspects

    1|1
    0|0
    • oh yeah background check for sure! The last guy I attempted to date was actually a cop so yeah I'm very careful with who i associate with. I'm not desperate for man considering i have a lot going on for myself already but if the right guy comes along, it would be nice to know that he won't turn me away just because I have a daughter, but then again, if he does, then he wouldn't be the right guy after all lol

  • Only if I wanted to have a long term relationship.

    2|1
    0|0
    • If me and the kid get attached to each other, it will be near impossible to keep it short term.

    • Show All
    • I'm not speaking for every guy.

    • oh I completely understand it's mostly circumstancial and it depends on the guy for sure.

  • Your a woman and men like women so im just gonna say it... yeah there's a guy that will surely support you and your daughter. It might take time but it will eventually happen. there's millions of people and if there isn't one person thats willing to do it then call me and i will lol. Good luck!

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm half Brazilian also! But um back to the point. Before I had my daughter I had no problems dating a single mom as long as she didn't use the child as a weapon against the dad. Moms can actually be kinda sexy because after all the work she has to do with the child and with her job she still finds time for a man. He should consider himself lucky. Lol

    1|0
    0|0
  • Your chances just went up, when you mentioned Brazilian.
    You can date men anywhere between about your age and 40. Some of them will already be divorced and have children of their own. They're likely to be the most accepting, and they may not want more children.
    You could have more difficulty with men who've never married or had children, but not all.

    0|0
    2|0
  • We'll women have a dating value it depends on how u act , do u take of urself and health and some more stuff. yes a man with kids that he take good care of would be best ! Remember this what type of Man U bring around ur kids is what they will see in they're head all they're life. I'm the son of a single mom she had shity men so I don't trust people at all l don't have trust for girlfriends. But I'm a great guy. Trust me it's who u show the kids is how they will think

    1|0
    0|0
  • I would be happy to date someone who had a kid or kids all ready as it shows the is a caring person

    2|0
    1|0
  • Juz.. no :/

    1|0
    3|1
    • No judgments here, I actually don't see myself dating anyone younger than me precisely because I don't expect anyone your age to be ready for such responsability and committment.

    • Show All
    • Jeez QA! Why are you so defensive?

    • @wondorous haha its ok but thanks for ur luv sweetie :*

  • Men these days are confused creatures who are lost and need guidance with morals and responsibilities all which of they found none in their homes as kids single parent homes lack of a father figure/shitty dad etc.

    Would I date a women with a child? With my career and own apartment, why not? As long as she gives me a child of my own.

    Many men lack maturity these days.

    1|1
    1|0
    • It's not necessarily about maturity in this case. When a kid is involved, it's another level to the relationship. Different responsibilities. Even if a man is mature enough to handle them, doesn't mean he should/would want to.

    • Take it or leave it. Simple as that.

    • It has nothing to do with maturity. You speak as if there was an era were all men or even most men were miraculously mature. False. Even back in the day, men would get girls knocked up and dissociate themselves from the situation immediately because it "bright shame to the family name" or forced then to totally alter their goals and life plan.

  • Here's a question for you, when you choose a guy now would you choose who you love or just pretend to love the first poor sucker who is good with your kid.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's a deal breaker to me, I'm in my mid-20's as well, but I am not really interested in having to deal with someone else's child/children mainly because I am unsure if I ever want children.

    0|1
    0|0
  • honestly, no, I would be annoyed by having a kid around all the time.

    1|2
    1|0
    • : / I hate to admit it but this is why I wouldn't date a single dad. As much as I love children, I really don't want to be around one all the time. Not at this phase in my life! I don't have the patience. It's annoying because when you're around kids at least half of your energy absolutely must go towards being attentive towards them. Whether it's making sure they don't choke or get hurt or fueling their imaginations or playing with them... it's just a lot

    • Show All
    • True, but what about guys who are an active part of the child's life with their ex?

    • Those are called "dysfunctional families" and I would avoid them like the plague if I were you

  • i dont see any problems with dating someone with children. children are a blast to be around, they always make me laugh

    0|0
    0|0
  • I wouldn't do it.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 2

  • My thoughts on this topic...
    First and foremost: pleas be careful because I firmly believe there are predatory men out there who target single mothers. I'm referring to pedophiles. There have been countless cases where a single mom gets involved with a guy and he sexually abuse her child. The two that stand out most is a guy who raped his girlfriend's 9 yr. old son repeatedly until he was a teenager. There was a situation in NC where a man raped and batter his girlfriend's 4 yr. old daughter. She had over 2 dozen bite marks on her dead body. This is EXTREMELY common. These men prey on single moms.

    You will have trouble because men generally do not want to raise a child that is not theirs. Raising your own child is already a massive, extensive financial commitment and time commitment that forces you to be highly responsible and impressionable. Doing that for a child you didn't even create is a lot to ask for that most men aren't ready to tackle.

    There are guys out there though!

    3|0
    0|0
    • Effing autocorrect making me look illiterate lol

    • Show All
    • I'm just glad that you're not like a lot of these single moms out here who are so desperate to feel hot again that they will risk that situation for a man' affection. Eminen is an example of that. He made a song talking about how his stepdad sotomize him in a shed, that's why he was so hateful towards his mom

    • You really just need to understand that many men aren't going to want to raise another man's seed. Tackling a father role is a huge lifestyle change. Many men who use condoms are tryin to avoid a situation like that so putting themselves in one kind of defeats the purpose. While you are independent and take care of your child, it will be natural for you to want her to be familiar with a father's love and you may inherently seek a man who can fulfill that desire. Anyhow, don't get discouraged just know that many men and women are not interested in altering their lifestyles and habits to be an appropriate figure around children. This is also why so many girls get abortions. Guys and gals generally would not like to rush their growth process by embracing a situation that forces them to instantly exercise extreme responsibility and patience.

  • You sound like you're doing great by yourself with your daughter, meaning you are ready to mingle :) Good luck in searching for that special addition to your family!

    1|0
    0|0
    • Thank you :) We are pretty happy as our little family but definitely woulnd't mind adding to it! :D

Loading...