She thinks getting her own place is more important than finding a partner should I be worried?

I am dating a girl who says strange things sometimes and I am not sure if I should break it off or not because of it.

For instance:
1. She thinks getting her own place is more important than finding a good partner.
2. She also says that she would first like to live on her own for a while before ever living together. Because it 'would make her more independant'. Even though I never asked her to live together.

Is she trying to tell me she doesn't want to be serious with me?

Because I don't want to waste my time dating someone who doesn't want to be serious...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, wasting 'Your time' and----Hers. She is Not into a Real Relationship, sweetie, and she is giving you Helpful 'Hindering Hints' that you are finding 'Strange' in your book, that are Raised Red flags here that if you are looking for More than what Miss Independence has in store, then it is better to give her her walking papers and do this with Dignity.
    She is not ready nor raring to share a nest with anyone right now, and even in the future, she may end up getting with some bird of a feather, but Not Stick together to even have offspring, leaving this an 'Empty nest...'Seriously...
    Good luck. xx

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What Girls Said 8

  • She sounds like she has her shit together. People should learn to be independent before entering into a situation where others are dependent on them. That doesn't mean you can't be in a serious relationship with her.

    And seriously everyone should experience living alone.

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    • Yea I think it's great she has thought about it.

      And she holds the same view as I do really. Except about materialistic things being more important than a good partner.

      Also my view on living alone has since changed. Living together is much more fun and cheaper. Until it goes haywire of course.

  • I think she is a wise girl. Everyone has to find themselves first before before being in relationship. This makes successful relationship. Let her find peace within herself. It is not about you, really.

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    • I am unsure whether you read the rest of the post. It definitely is about me, because I am investing my time which could be spent looking for someone else!

    • I mean the problem you are facing, seems about her, not about you. I am sure she appreciates your efforts. She is aware of them too. But she is not ready yet to be in relationship.

  • I don't think she's saying that at all. Rather, she's saying she needs to know that she can survive independently if something where to happen and you were to break up.

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    • That sounds like a fair thought.

      You never know with women though, what they say can always have hidden meanings...

  • She wants to be independent a bit before she settles down. There's no insult there. Nothing against you. I'd want the same thing.

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  • Esentially that is what she's saying and i dont think you should waste your time. There is someone out there for everyone she's just not it

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    • Thats what I thought too, but other girls think differently about this and say she is just wanting to 'become independant'.

      Also she does stil want to hang out and sends me kisses often.

  • oh, she's serious. what she's really saying is:
    1. she wants stability.
    2. she needs to grow up a little bit before she can settle down and devote everything to her relationship. independence is a way for little girls to prove to themselves they've "grown up." trust me, i'm doing it right now, and it sucks.

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  • I'd tell you the same thing. Living on your own for some time is very important in my opinion, for the exact same reason she gave you. Hell, I think there's lots of things that are more important than "finding the right guy". Finishing uni, finding a job I love, having some good friends in my life etc. I think your girl is pretty smart, actually. She has understood that she doesn't need you (and you don't need her), and she's still in a relationship with you because she likes you, not because you are her everything.

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  • It sounds like she's trying to tell you her priorities. If she's never lived on her own, it makes sense she wants to try that first, to know she can do that before she just moves in with a guy. And it also sounds like she's focused on that particular priority right now, she's telling you finding a boyfriend has not been high on her priority list. It doesn't mean she doesn't WANT one or wouldn't start dating a guy she could get serious with just because she hasn't been looking for it. She's basically telling you what her future looks like with regards to living arrangements for the next little bit,
    Sh's obviously thought about your future, she's just making sure you're both on the same page.

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    • Ah right.

      But still, to tell someone you are dating that finding a boyfriend isn't high on your priority list is weird though.

What Guys Said 1

  • She's practical, realistic and has her priorities straight. That's all. Don't make a fuzz over it. She's telling you her plans because she thinks you can understand her.

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    • I respect it. But don't want to waste my precious time :P I will give it some months first though, see how it goes.

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