Why are some guys afraid of commitment?

I have been dating this guy for 2 years and I still haven't met any of his family. We use to go out all the time but now we never go out together. He only wants to come over at night but I tell him to go home because it is getting late. He isn't getting it from me so who is he getting it from. Why does he never take me out and when I ask him about it. He always says we will do something this weekend but we never do. He sometimes waits weeks to come over before I see him. Not sure what he wants from me. He says he loves and misses me but he always disappoints me. Before all this he was getting it every weekend and his work hours were crazy. Just an fyi.

  • Should I stay with him?
    0% (0)17% (1)10% (1)Vote
  • Move on?
    100% (4)83% (5)90% (9)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like you found yourself a guy who's equally good at playing chess ; )

    Sex stops = relationship stops. If you want to bargain and play ball, then you better be prepared to play when he joins you on the field and ready to go. If you want to be passive aggressive with him, and you see that he knows how to play this game and make you suffer two-fold as you hold out, then don't complain about it. You wanted him to cave, he didn't, next move is to cut the BS and COMMUNICATE.

    Nobody said that guys are "AFRAID" to commit. We just don't want to. Why are you afraid to eat sh*t by the bucket? Or, why are you "afraid" to do XYZ? It's a loaded question that presupposed that you are afraid. Maybe you just don't want to. That's like a high school boy asking a high school girl, "ugh, why are you so 'afraid' to suck my c*ck?" Guys just don't want commitment. MEN DO NOT GAIN ANYTHING from commitment.

    So, to try and "CREATE" some "ARTIFICIAL" gain or benefit from men, girls hold out some benefits if there is NO COMMITMENT, and only allow for those benefits to flow through if and only if there IS COMMITMENT. In response, men give you the metaphorical finger, tell you to go fcuk yourself, and just let time elapse as you grow older, and your alternatives get less and less valuable by the day.

    This is a "LOSING" game for you. The game is designed for you to lose. Your only shot is to find a "STUPID" guy that "DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY," and genuinely "believes" you and "trusts" you when you throw emotional manipulation around like "love" and "marriage" and "commitment" etc. When you come across a guy who knows how to play the game of life, why on earth would he ever commit? What is he "actually gaining" from commitment with you?

    As someone who handles divorces, I'll go a step further and say, for as long as marriage permits divorce and isn't sanctioned slavery, even marriage isn't a real commitment. All relationships are completely "voluntary."

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    • You have to make someone "prefer being with you" if you want to continue having a relationship with that person. The day you STOP putting in an effort to make someone genuinely "prefer being with you," you're no longer in a relationship with that person. Maybe you're still married to that person on paper. Maybe you file taxes together. Maybe you have kids together. Maybe you still go on vacations with the family together. But, you're no longer really "together" or "in a relationship." Why? Because that person "no longer WANTS to BE WITH YOU." That's the ethereal extent to which there is any value to any purported "commitment." For as long as we have a 13th amendment in this country, women are never going to have the kind of "commitment" they want from men. So, either cope with it, or I don't know what else to tell you really, because unless you cope with that reality, then you're just going to be miserable.

What Guys Said 7

  • I don't trust girls my age. I hear so many stories of lying, manipulation, and deceit.

    Commitment is a one way road to emotional pain, trauma, and depression in my eyes.

    Ideally commitment seems like the best thing for two people in love but I am a cynic.

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  • Because people are less loyal these days and divorce rates are high, so people don't think as much about the potential of marrying and staying together forever with whoever they're dating anymore.

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  • 'Your Man' is showing all the signs of being a player.

    Players behave this way, now I am not saying he is a Player, but he's showing the tell-tale signs of being just that.

    The guys who are genuinely commitment-phobes would have bolted long ago.

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  • Uh, break up. Two years without seeing his family? He isn't taking you out? No. You're just a girl on the side.

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  • For some guys, a commitment could seem to be like:
    1. A leash similar to a dog that restricts his freedom.
    2. An additional responsibility that could potentially stress him more.
    3. A label that could turn to an image that he won't be able to shake off, thus losing his life's variety.

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  • Same reason women are. Fear of being hurt

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  • Guys like variety n fun. Commitment cam be boring. Same girl, same sex, same routine. Try spicing things up or showing him u can be open minded n fun.

    Most men r in no rush to basically pay bills n change diapers. It's depressing

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What Girls Said 1

  • I'm dealing with a jerk like this. It's hard to move on, but it's best to because a man that truly cares for you would do anything to take you off the dating market and make you his own. I know the feeling that things can change, but if they haven't in two years, it's safe to say they won't.

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