I have no faith I will meet a good guy for me, ever?

I'm really pessimistic in terms of me finding someone I would like to be with.

I do feel I am pretty- or at least decent. I feel I get a half decent amount of attention from guys.

I do make an effort to look nice. And while I am a shy girl, I have made significant effort to being more friendly and approachable.

I'm so much better at flirting and picking up on interest now. And I have confidence that I have good character and that I am decently desirable.

I am a very caring person and I am a good friend. Very loyal, trustworthy, good listener, etc.

I have flaws just like anyone else but nothing that makes me a terrible human being lol. Just things like being over sensitive, or thinking too much. Or lacking confidence in my abilities, or being stubborn.

The guys I get attention from I would just never date, for the most part. They tend to be younger and just not my type. I don't mean to reject guys out of being picky but I can't help it if I'm just not interested in them.

I do also approach guys I like who are my type, but the ones I have approached didn't work out.. But it's for the best.

I did give a chance to one guy who I thought was good, but he ended up being the biggest douchebag on the planet. Just a manipulative, sex crazed asshole who didn't respect me.

My friends all tell me that I am a very nice girl with good character and that I am a catch and that I will meet someone good eventually..

I'm just so pessimistic and I don't think I'll ever meet anyone.

Can anyone help me change my perspective?

I'm happy for my friends in their fulfilling relationships, but I also really want one of my own. :/


Most Helpful Guy

  • The way I see it... all it takes is one night out, for the right situation to present itself, and boom, you could potentially meet the right person tomorrow. You never know... That's how I think anyway.

    The right place, and the right time and your life can change in an instant... Just get yourself out there, put your best foot forward, be sociable and fun, and put yourself in situations where things are more likely to happen and given time, they will...


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What Guys Said 11

  • Negative thoughts are killing your spark. We all go out with people that turn out to be a waste of space and our time, but that is their issue and their fault not yours. If you move on as soon as you figure out that their scum then thats all you can do. You have to keep the excitement that the next one will be just what your looking for. I myself will not go near a woman that likes to complain or gives off negative vibes. No matter how attractive she is. Gotta change your outlook moving forward girl. Positivity is alluring!

    • Im not a pessimist and I don't complain outwardly. I honestly am a decently positive person. I just lack hope in this one area of life.

      No one I know describes me as a pessimist and that really isn't me.

    • Ok then, you have an outwardly positive outlook on life. Yet, your thoughts and feelings about worldly things shine a long way. So, even thou you have a good positive outlook generally, in this specific spot your poker face is showing a bad hand. Good news thou, by reading some of the other comments I realized that due to your faith and walking a strong path of God puts a good percentage of guys below your league. The average guy won't make you happy. Heck most of the guys won't make you happy. And that is not your fault you are on the right path. I would just stick to your faith and If I am correct and you are walking God's path then honey your man will be in that path when God sees fit. Is that not how a girl of your faith to believe?

    • That is put in a very beautiful way. I agree with you. The average guy definitely won't make me happy.

      Hopefully God has someone special out there for me :)

  • Go to church stay upbeat and meet yourself a good church man

    • People my age don't go to my place of worship :/

    • There must be someone. Try another church

    • Churches have youth groups of all ages there has to be something for you. I have trouble myself but hey try

  • I feel like you just read me my life story of dating as well as yours. And i feel the same way you feel kinda stuck in a rut... Excuse the analogy i ride dirt bikes and its easy to get stuck in ruts harder it is to find your way out

  • Sounds like realistic expectations

  • Wish there were more girls like you around.

  • i have no faith either... but you must try.

  • Did you end up having sex with that so called "sex-crazed asshole"?

    • No absolutely not. I'm not handing my virginity to some player.

    • Good to know :)

    • Hehe thank you :) I'm so happy I never gave him anything!

  • To some you would be a dream girl

    • Why?

    • Pretty, shy, caring, kind, all those things you said about and all of what you said

    • yup i mean at most we ever see girls with one of those qualities. the bar is set pretty low.

  • You're not really telling us what kind of guy you want. So that makes it difficult to say.

    • The guy I want is rare. I want a guy who preferably is a virgin just because I am one. But if he isn't I can handle if he has only had sex in a serious relationship and is willing to wait for me.

      I like guys who care about their families a lot, and who are also very driven academically. I don't like huge drinkers and smokers are a no. Some occasional drinking is fine though. It's just that I don't drink and I don't think I would be compatible with an alcoholic

    • Show All
    • Why settle if it isn't worth it, right?

    • It depends what you mean by settle. You should always do what will maximize your rational happiness but unfortunately, in this case like many cases, the facts aren't totally known to you.

      For example if you're on a gameshow where the maximum prize was $1 million but you won $500 thousand. You don't tear up the check because you ideally wanted the one mil. You know without doubt that you have two choices in front of you: no money or the $500 thousand. So you take the $500 thousand. But unfortunately we can't be sure about what is the best you can get in terms of a bf. There are some facts to help you. But nowhere near conclusive. So yeah whatever decision you take, you're taking a risk

  • Well, it comes down to, the ones who you like, don't like you and the ones who you don't like, like you. That's what it comes down to. How to beat that, is the question. Noone's ever really comes up with a good solution


What Girls Said 2

  • Don't give up. Ever. There's always someone out there for everyone. Don't lose your faith. You'll find someone.

  • You will never be with anyone having a negative attitude whig probably will turn guys away. Start being more optimistic and tell yourself everyday that today is going to be a good day and have a better attitude about stuff.

    • I'm not a pessimist about LIFE in general. It's just that I don't think I will meet a guy that makes me happy. I'm a pessimist about one particular thing. Not equivalent to me being negative overall

    • Well then that needs to change be more postive about finding a great guy that you couldn't think about not spending your life with.