Do you think it's possible to have a crush on someone but not be physically/sexually attracted to them?

My friend has always prided himself on loving his girlfriend and not being interested in other girls. Compared to his girl all other girls are just not that great and he barely notices them. He can judge whether the girl is attractive or not but that's as far as it goes, it's almost sunconcious that he doesn't even think when he sees an attractive woman. Even when they have "guy talk" he doesn't really contribute at all. At least that's what he says to me, I've known him since childhood and tbh I do believe him.

However he told me the other day that after meeting a girl at a party he developed a little crush on her, he "fancied" her so to speak. It was only for the night but he enjoyed her company and whenever she wasn't there, he wondered where she was, he wanted to speak to her again and wanted her to feel the same way back.

I reminded him about what he said previous to not noticing other girls and he responded by saying that yes he fancied this girl briefly for the night, but he felt nothing sexually towards her. Sure, she was an attractive girl but He didn't want to take her to bed and checking her out wasn't even something he thought to do nor felt the urge to do. She was funny and charismatic, she had a certain "spark" to her that he enjoyed and appreciated but that didn't change his sexual attraction to his girlfriend (or make him sexually attracted to this other woman) and he didn't want to be with this other woman romantically/sexually.

Now, I realise that many guys check out other women to some extreme or another. I know my boyfriend looks and I know I look every now and I again, not many people are like my friend. I know it's perfectly possible to form a crush on a member of the opposite sex while in a relationship but I didn't think it was possible to have this without feeling sexually/physically attracted to said person.

Thoughts?
Anyone experienced this?


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What Guys Said 1

  • 1. Looking at every woman on the street doesn't necessarily mean that a guy is sexually looking at her i. e. getting horny - he looks cause it's meant to be that way by nature
    2. Yes one can have a crush on someone yet not (yet) be sexually attracted to them. For a lot of people ideas of intimacy comes up later i. e. once they've established a relationship &/or they've spent some time together

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What Girls Said 1

  • I had a crush on the guy I like for his personality, values and abilities before I started to be physically attracted to him.

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    • Same! I really liked this guy, but I was NOT attracted to him when I first met him. I thought he was - and this is going to sound harsh - ugly. I didn't even bother trying to get to know him. Truth is we actually kind of grew on each other. He always thought I was attractive, but when we met he didn't want to get to know anyone (it was a group kind of setting). I guess he saw how I acted around other people and started to like my personality. I realized this when I saw him start to hang around me more often. I don't even know how we became friends, but I'm glad we did because he was one of the sweetest guys I had ever met.

    • That's great :)

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