Why does being cheated on hurt so bad after so long? HELP ME!!!?

Well, i was in love with this girl, 3 months in i got cheated on with an x one time, i let that go, even tho it hurt, then i found out from month 4/5-7/8 i was constantly being cheated on with another guy. Im at home in love with her kids and she's out fucking another guy obviously not caring about me and it hurt. I forced myself to walk away i said enough is enough, then we started talking and got back together, after she cried and cried and told me she felt so bad. Our relationship is stronger then ever now, and its been great, but i can't stop being reminded ever day what happened. I have so many unanswered questions. And she won't talk to me or tell me anything, just gets mad at me for bringing it up everyday. Well i dont choose to, my heart reminds me and i want to know how to make it stop. I can never loose the thoughts. HOW DO I FIX IT!!! I seriously contemplate killing myself everyday as long as this is going to happen. I want it to stop. I need help. Please someone tell me what to do, how do i get past something when i have so many unanswered questions and can't understand why or how. What do i do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It hurts badly because people who cheat seem to want to hurt people. They're like Judas, Brutus, Mordred, and Claudius all combined into one female villainess.

    Personally, I'd never forgive a woman who cheated on me, I'd leave her and erase her existence out of my life. That being said if you think you truly love this woman and need assistance getting over this set back then I'd suggest:
    a.) Talk to her about your feelings in a calm and collected manner.
    b.) Find a way to separate her cheating on you from yourself, it wasn't your fault.
    c.) Seek "couples therapy", this is an extremely valuable and underused tool.

    • Don't do couples therapy. Do individual therapy. She needs to find out the deep issue towards why she is a cheater. You need to find out the reason why you are allowing someone to treat you with such disrespect. Cheaters often have personality disorders and need to be evaluated alone so that they cannot influence you in the session.


Have an opinion?


Send It!

What Girls Said 1

  • Cry me a river - Justin Timberlake, go listen this song !


What Guys Said 2

  • It can hurt for years. I can only say that the more different women have done it to you, the less it hurts each time. You do become immune to it, to the point where no-one can hurt you.

    You've got a lot of patience, if you took he back after she'd cheated with 2 different men. Once might be more forgivable.
    Bringing it up every day certainly won't help. If you've got questions that need answering, try writing them down concisely. Bringing them up in conversation might not work well. Tell her you don't want to talk about it, but there are questions that bother you constantly. Show her the list and ask if there's anything she can do about it.

  • I have been there broster. I was cheated on thrice, Move on and be young. Hang with the bros and do not worry about women for a long time. Things will get better. Chin up you badass