Is it weird he NEVER pays on a date? It's always 50/50?

I've been on three dates with this guy and he has not ONCE paid. We always split, which is okay sometimes I guess, but I really feel like he is more of a friend right now. He doesn't flirt with me much, we've kissed once and I feel like I'm not really romantically interested in him anymore. I don't know. I just feel like it's odd that we're "dating" and he hasn't once paid, offered to pay or even talked about paying for a bill with me. I have a feeling he thinks it's more forward thinking and feminist... but something about it makes me feel like we are just two friends.

  • Yes
    39% (7)38% (10)39% (17)Vote
  • No
    61% (11)62% (16)61% (27)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If he does the asking then he needs to do the paying. That's how it works, it hasn't changed. If he's cheap and asks you out (to pay for yourself) then I thought that's supposed to be a deal breaker for most girls.

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    • no way dude cause the social standard is guys are the ones supposed to ask girls out. thats just sexism by proxy

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    • You have forgotten the golden rule to women, dating is rule out the bitches from the good ones. Dont' think women can use you like men do with women. women can be players, just like men. be careful, cause there are bitches will use you for free dinner. Don't be a nice guy, instead be a good guy. its much better.

    • women use men for money and free dinners, just like we used them for sex, one night stands. Some women do use men for sex, but its very very rare, cause they know, men will enjoy it more.

What Guys Said 17

  • Why should he pay? I could understand 50 years ago when men worked and women didn't, but why do people still expect a man to pay. I have NO PROBLEM being a gentleman at all, I will open your door for you, do all that stuff if you really want but when I work 40+ hours a week I don't see why I should have to spend my excess money on her when she spends her excess money on herself as well.

    Unfortunately, society has standards that are expected to be followed and while the movement for women's rights is still going on, no one cares at all about EQUALITY.

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  • what make you think he should pay for a date for you? what does he owe you? Ok lets say he does for a date for you? then you decide to run off and your not interested in him anymore. He has gained nothing by paying for that date.

    You go on dates, to find out about each other, have fun, and to see if you both like each other. Dates are not to be take seriously, its more about having fun and finding things in common.

    Sorry young lady, if you are looking for love, then don't go round expecting men to be paying for and running round after you like a little princess, he is not your daddy. Thats something would expect from your dad. You girls , can get good and better jobs, earn the same just as much men now.

    Stop acting like your entitled to everything from a man, thats not love. You are dating him, cause you like him as person, and not for what he can give you material wise. If you want nice things, then buy those things yourself.

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    • You are basically saying he should buy your love? Love shouldn't be based on what you buy for each other. thats not love. Your just loving someone for what they can give you. I suggest rethink what it is your looking in love? love is not movie? what he is doing for you, is reality. you both pay your own way.

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    • if women expect men to pay for everything, then they are in the realms of kings and princesses, when really it's all about men and women. the fact is men are not kings, and your not a princess. we are all just simple people. that's all.
      I am not saying they all do.

    • Sorry QA but I dont think people in general know what the meaning of dating or love means anymore. We are just messing up themselves in relationships and love. To me its just based paying and money and gifts, This the reason I stay single. Cause that is not love. Everyone you are just kidding yourselves about real love. I wonder why you are all miserable unhappy in relationships. Good luck.

  • You girls always talk about gender equality and you find it weird that you always split the bill?
    Have you ever considered that MAYBE that guys does not have enough cash to pay the whole thing?

    And why don't you feel "romantically interested" anymore?
    You feel he is not into you because he does not pay for your dinner? Come on !!!

    You sound like shallow girl dating guys just to get free food and a free ride

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  • You are expecting him to pay based on your understanding of social conventions, so when he does not pay you see it in more of a friend context because that is probably what you do when you go out with friends.

    That said, it's not fair to simply expect him to pay whenever you are at a restaurant any more than it is fair for him to expect you to make him sandwiches any time you are at home. My PERSONAL rule is that whoever does the asking does the paying, at least unless the other objects. So if I ask her somewhere, I pay for it. If she asks me somewhere, I expect her to pay. in my opinion it's just a matter of courtesy and doing something nice for someone, not fulfilling societal expectations. It's the same way I look at holding the door for people. If she never does anything in return (e. g., ask me out somewhere and offer to pay), I'll feel like she is just expecting me to do everything in the relationship and I'm not cool with that.

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  • that's BULLSHIT... what means the guy must pay? this is too old-fashioned i say!!! be serious!! everybody pays his/her OWN. fair and square!

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  • Dump him and get a sugardaddy instead

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  • No it's not. Why should he have to pay for you?

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  • Why don't you pay his way, once? See how that goes?

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    • I did... he never reciprocated

    • He sounds cheap, then. If a girl paid my way I would make sure I paid the next time to stay fair. You should ask him why he has never taken a turn. At least get it in the open.

  • Why should the guy be the one to pay? Splitting is always good that ur independent and not always dependent. If u nvr helped to pay, i'd dump u for ur selfishness >.>

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  • Never expect that he pays for you!

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  • it's not about the money. it's about the connection between you both and the depth in it is not there.

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  • Nope not weird. Why do you feel it's not weird for you to have not paid for a full date?

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  • This reminds me of the whole "Make me a sandwich" thing with genders reversed xD

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  • Girlz should be the one who have to pay

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  • In b4 hateongolddiggers

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  • "He is treating me like an equal and not an entitled princess.. OH NO !!!"

    Funny how you're romantically interested in him anymore if he doesn't fork cash in your general direction.
    Did you ever loved him for who he was or his money?

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What Girls Said 15

  • It's definitely not weird. I wish my boyfriend would do this with me. I have to force him. I prefer a relationship that's as 50/50 as possible. We both cook for each other, both clean for each other, we both work, we both pay. We take turns though. Sometimes he pays for a date, sometimes I do. Sometimes we do split it 50/50.
    He says he'd prefer if only he paid for dates, because he's the guy and it feels weird for him to let me pay. But I like to pay also because we both ate, both watched the movie, both enjoy each other's company.
    So you are lucky in my opinion, I would love to not have to beg or convince my boyfriend to let me. In the end he does. So no, not weird in my opinion.

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  • If a guy really likes a girl then usually he'll want to impress her and want to pay I know that's the expectation but in this day and age it's understandable for him to not want to pay and even though most guys still do it doesn't mean they all do and just because he doesn't pay for you doesn't mean he doesn't like you that could just be the way he is and the way he sees things don't pay much attention to it because I really don't think you should worry about it if you like him then just keep going for it

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  • He is forward with the whole modern dating and you guys aren't technically together so why should he pay for all of it

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    • Not all of it, but sheesh, he can't even buy dinner once? I feel like it's a sign he isn't really into me.

    • I'd have to agree, I see it that he is "chasing" you more if he pays, like if a guy doesn't pay for me id think to myself: I bet he paid for the girls he is really into, or that he feels he doesn't have to impress me much. I think men should pay for dinner. Maybe let girls do other things if they want to feel appreciated. Like eventually let the girl cook them dinner round her place. But paying for the bill maybe just in my mind is the "gentleman thing" to do.

  • On a first date the man should ALWAYS pay, if is a gentleman! I don't expect him to pay everytime but I set my standard at that as a minimum! Don't waste time on losers that are cheap or don't know how to treat a lady!

    Ps. This doesn't mean I'm a gold digger! It means I like a man who opens the door for me, gives me his coat if I'm cold ect... Men these days have lost the ability to, for a lack of a better word, woo a woman! Yes I want to be treated like a princess! And yes, in return I will treat my man like a prince!

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    • sorry but what makes you think your entitled to my hard earned wages? I am not loser because I don't pay for it for you. I owe you nothing with to paying for dates or anything else. it's my money I quiet entitled how I chose to spend it. your just a women to me. does that mean I have to pay taxes just to date a women? cause that what it sounds like me.

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    • bDizzie, It doesn't matter who asks who out on a date first? if she says yes to a date with me? that's means she likes me, not because yes she is getting a free dinner, and then at end of it, she feels not interested in me anymore. You say yes, cause you like that person. Your basically saying you have to pay, because you want her for a date? common. I have to pay to ask someone to date me? no. You go on a date with someone because you both like each other, so you both pay, it doesn't who has asked first. It shouldn't come down who has asked. what has paying got to do with anything in terms of dating someone? If you don't like them then you say no? its that simple bDizzie

    • I don't think I'm entitled to anyone's money. I do however think it's a gracious sign of a gentleman to treat a lady on a first date. Don't make assumptions about me and I won't make them about you.

  • As long as it isn't one person always paying, I don't see the problem. It's a little unconventional to not simply just... switch picking up the entire tab.

    But, not a dealbreaker.

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  • No, I'd have a lot of respect for a guy who always split the bill and doesn't feel the need to bow down to some archaic courtship rule. It's completely fair, why should he pay for you just because you have a vagina?

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    • This is the girl I could date. She is her own person, and respects men and doesn't expect anything from them. I know she is going to love me, regardless if I pay for her or not. Thats love.

    • I find it ridiculous that women still think this shit is acceptable. This is one of the reasons feminism is still needed in my own opinion, women like this girl need to learn that this type of gender roles are nothing but restrictive and out dated and completely undermine a woman's right to support herself.

  • I don't think he should have to pay for you everytime. If he asked you on the date the first time, then he probably should pay, however if it was a "let's meet up" kind of thing, you should pay for your own food. Have you asked him about it? He might have a legitimate reason why he splits the bill with you. If it's this bad to you, why are you still "dating" him?

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  • Find one that will, my boyfriend mostly pays for dates when I do he feels like his manhood is being taken away. I just let him pay. It's all in what u want, I feel a man should pay. I was raised in a traditional environment and so was my boyfriend plus we were both raised Muslim enough said. I have never paid for first dates or second but I find men with my views and who usually ask me out.

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  • yes for me it would be weird. at least he should offer to pay once especially on official first day

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  • From the way you described the relationship you sound more like friends.

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  • being cheap with money on the first date is a turn off. definitely.

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  • If by weird you mean fair, then yes.

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  • If he is a student or unemployed i would understand but if he has a job then weird

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  • He should pay at first

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    • Haha no fucking way, why should he? :)

    • yeah. i dare you to think any reason other than because you just want it. i'd like a fucking ferrari but i dont expect it of the opposite sex because that would be ridiculous.

    • Then don't ask her out.

  • How many times have YOU paid for him? Why do you think you deserve a free ride from him?

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    • there's not enough girls like you in the world. i mean look at some of these answers. bitches wanna be treated like princesses just cause they think that would be nice. no one but crazy people expects to get everything they want all the friggin time just because.

    • If he's asking her out then he better be paying. If she asks him out, I'd expect the same.

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