Do girls make out on a date with a guy they are not attracted to?

I ask because I find myself loosing girls after the first date, even when we had a great time, made out with almost all of them, I'm getting no replies when I go for a second date. I'm very direct with girls, always go for the kiss and I'm very good at sub communicating my intentions, so I must be doing something wrong but can't figure out exactly what it is. I'd like to know from a female perspective, why would you ignore a guy you went out with, showed you a good time, made you laugh, there was sexual chemistry and kissing, even sex in a few occasions, but then when he wants to see you again, you ignore him. This has happened 6 or 7 times to me in the last 2 months, and although my rational side knows that I should just shake it off and keep going, my emotional side is preventing me from doing so. Just honest opinions please. Thanks.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It would either be one of two options.
    1. Your direct approach put them off. They may have felt that it was too rude to turn you down when you made advances, so just went along with it. I personally do not like it when a guy tries to make out with me on a first date, as it gives me the impression that he is after something more physical. I love affection etc, but all in good timing. I am really impressed when a guy actually shows a little self control, and spends at least three dates getting to know me, and conversing, before leaning in for a kiss. I'm looking for a gentleman. And a simple kiss on the cheek, with his hand in the small of my back is hugely underrated, I love it when a guy starts off doing that. I feel that making out too soon cheapens the connection with another.
    2. They are only looking for something physical. To put it bluntly... they're horny. Girls too, feel a need to make out sometimes, and just get it out of their systems. I'm embarrassed to say that I once went on a couple of dates with a certain guy who I had no interest in what so ever, just so we could make out at the end of each date. I would never do something like that now however, as felt a lot of guilt after that, knowing that he was quite hurt. And I am not usually one to disregard another's feelings.

    Have you ever tried not making out with a girl at the end of a date, to see what happens? Maybe it's worth a try :)

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    • You made a couple of good points, sometimes I can't help to be direct when I'm attracted to a girl and I see that she's attracted to me and maybe this has cost me and made me loose girls that I really wanted to go out again with and get to know them. Thanks a lot for your advise and I WILL take it easy next time if I go out with a girl I'm interested in and see how it goes.

    • Yes, it can be hard to remain self controlled in these situations, but that is why a female is so impressed when a guy does actually hold back on the physical side of things to begin with. It means he must be really serious about getting to know her.
      Please let me know how things go, on your next date and you try to hold back just a little, I'd love to hear what happens :)
      Also, when a guy does hold back for the first number if dates, and only kisses me on the cheek at the end of the night, with his hand on the small of my back, it builds my attraction toward him even more, both physically and mentally.

What Girls Said 7

  • Going that far with a girl so soon tells us one thing: That you're into booty calls or one-night stands and not relationships. Girls know that a guy wants to be in a relationship with them if they take it slow. Being direct with girls can be a good thing, since honestly we tend to read into whatever a guy says or does way too much, but moving too quickly tells girls that you don't want anything long-term.
    (It's also possible that the girl thought that you weren't looking for a relationship and when you contacted her again she didn't reply because she didn't want a relationship)
    When I was about to go on my first date ever there was one thing that all of my friends told me (I found this really strange because I talked to every friend separately, and it was in a modest estimate fifteen people who all told me the same thing): Don't let him kiss you on the first date. Wait until the third or maybe fifth date at least. This is because the guy really wants to get to know you better and cares about you if he does this, and isn't hanging out with you only for sex or making out.
    I hope that my advice helps, and that you find someone fantabulous; you sound like a nice guy :)

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    • I'm actually actively seeking a relationship with a girl, lol, but I understand where you are coming from. And I like to think of my self as a "good guy" instead of a "nice guy" haha. Thanks for answering.

    • Welcome :)

  • Because Men, are not the only ones who play games. I'm assuming all of these girls have one main thing in common: Where you picked them up at. ... was it by any chance a Bar or Party?
    Sometimes, you have to take into account the type of person you're going for.
    Party girls, are not the serious or relationship types, typically. There are a few exceptions (but let's not get into that please). If you want a girlfriend, you have to go places to find a good one. The bar, is not that place.. A party isn't really much better if its the kind where everyone is getting hammered.

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    • They all came from different places, one from a dating site, one from my social circle, one I met her at a coffee shop, a couple on tinder, a couple at a bar or club. I don't think these were necessarily party girls, maybe a couple.

  • Hmm.. I would always reply and tell him what's wrong. Anyways if you are too sexual on the first date (I wouldn't have sex in the first date) I might get the wrong impression and think: that's all he wants. So I would ignore him or just say no thank you to his next invite.

    I don't make out with guys I am not attracted to because that would give them the wrong impression. If I am not interested then I am not interested in kissing you either.

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  • Well different girls have different takes on that. I will not kiss anyone I'm not attracted to, however my best friend is different. She's like "Well it's just a kiss", so yeah it depends on the girl really.

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  • No, not generally.

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  • My friend used to make out with dates she intended on never seeing again.. I told her how misleading, slutty & wrong it was.. Not to mention the risk for oral herpes... She finally understands now, after a guy seemed like he was gonna rape her. It just sends the wrong signals.

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  • No. I don't kiss guys I'm not attracted to

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What Guys Said 1

  • Maybe because you gave it up to easily. You have to leave women wanting more. You know kind of like a movie that says to be continued and then the women are like damn we were just about to get to the best part. 'Or maybe its because the women around your age are still young so they just want some flings before they settle down.

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