What exactly is playing the field?

My bf has had 5 gf's before me. And has dated other girls in between. He's 26 and I'm just wondering if that constitutes "playin the field" or I should be concerned he will one day break up with me so he could "play the field." Is that a valid concern? We've been together for almost a year now.


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What Guys Said 1

  • All concerns are valid but not all are worth your time contemplating. It's completely acceptable to worry about this but the outcome will pretty much take you back to the beginning. The main question here deals with trust. You're asking if you can trust him not to break up with you. Playing the field is just a side note. It's just an arbitrary reason you've chosen to structure you're fear of him breaking up with you around. So once again the real question is "can you trust him not to break up with you?" The answer in all honesty is no. You have no clue what he might do in the future and neither do you. A better question you can ask yourself is "Am I willing to take a risk and trust him anyways?" This is a matter of personal taste. If you choose not to trust him you'll never be able to relax into and enjoy your relationship if you choose to trust him you risk having your heart broken. To me it sounds like a clear choice. On one hand you at least get a short moment of good relationship. It's a solid block of time filled with loving someone. On the other hand you wait in fear looking for an answer you'll never actually find. Straight forward right? But the risk! We can't forget the risk! The risk of being abandoned. But is it really a risk. What happens if he breaks up with you? You get sad you eventually find a way to get over it and you try again. There are no losses just no gains. Except for time. You loose valuable time in a relationship that didn't culminate into marriage. But is that really a loss? Clearly marriage doesn't make a relationship plenty of people exist in unhappy unfulfilling marriages. So maybe a brief period of time being with someone that makes you happy isn't a waste just because it didn't end in marriage or kids. It's just another positive experience in life that you can reflect on and grow from.

    TL;DR: just forget about whether or not he'll break up with you relax and focus on the now. If it doesn't end well deal with it when it happens.

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