Why do white guys hit on me online but not in person?

I've had some white guys flirt with me on websites but not in person. I go to school that is predominantly white (Michigan State) Some stare at me but that's all. What gives? O_o I wouldn't mind dating one because I find some that are attractive to me. Is it just really rare to find a white guy that likes and would approach a black girl? If not, I guess there's nothing I can do about it (I could try approaching one myself, but I'm too shy >.<) It's no big deal. Just wondering. :)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's because of stereotypes. White people feel more self conscious about approaching black girls because of fear of being judged. Most black girls I know also put out this vibe that they only date black or hispanics, they never seem interested in whites or asians. That being said, your question kinda goes both ways. I see a question about black girls who like white guys every single day on this site but in real life it's SUPER rare. Not to beat a dead horse but it all comes down to stereotypes, Black girls don't want to be judged for dating white guys and white guys don't want to be judged for dating black girls. There are exceptions to this rule though, you just haven't found it yet. I know you're shy (I'm shy too and as a guy it's really hard because girls don't "approach" us) but your best bet is to prove to them what type of nice, loveable, sweet person you are and show them that you aren't the stereotypical black girl. If you can do that in a nice way, they'll grow fond of you and forget about the stereotypes of the fear of judgement. I'm black too but I hate stereotypes and I do what I like to do even if I"m called an "oreo." Eventually someone will come along and see that and really like it. :)

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What Guys Said 14

  • Online dating provides a safety net for people to take risks they would never normally take face to face. Its the reason so many men say such outrageous and offensive things. You better believe in real life most of them would not have the courage to say these same comments face to face. In many cases, men live out the fantasies online that they are too intimated to live out in real life. In society, white guys still often have that irrational intimidation of other approaching other races even in this day and age.

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  • Maybe you are too scary? lol, i'm playing but its always a little more complicated when i comes to race, people sometimes don't know if that other person is one of the exclusive race dating types or are open. So its easier not to try, maybe if there was some way for him to know you're open then he could be open to it. Otherwise just make friends and they'll probably go from there

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  • Michigan State, tsk... the Spartans. You know you can always approach a guy. The white girls who have the most success dating black guys aren't afraid to take the first step, you can do the same.

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    • What was that tsk for? What did we do to you? lol

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    • LOL... it okay, pride is good. Isn't Michigan State like Univ. of Michigan's younger brother?

    • Lol didn't I tell you... no we're not their younger brother! I swear, if you say one more thing 👊

  • A lot of us like black girls, but we just kind of assume y'all only date black guys.

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    • Whattttt? Really? I just thought it was really rare :p

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    • Try mildly flirting with the white guys you find attractive, maybe they'll get the point.

      And thank you, pretty lady :)

    • what this guys says is right... a lot of white dudes think this way about black females.

  • Anonymity, many white guys are still intimidated by black girls, especially attractive ones like yourself.

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    • Aww thanks :3 but we're not intimidating, I'm a pretty nice person

    • Oh I know :) I just know many white guys still feel uncomfortable talking to black girls because of the stupid stereotypes that still plague society today from hundreds of years of racism... There aren't many black people up where I live so when I was younger I believed the stereotypes as did most of my friends but of course it didn't take long to learn they were complete bullshit.

  • I think the flirting on here by guys is pretty amplified. I don't women generally get hit on a lot less by everyone IRL. There is probably some general tension between those two groups still so a lot of white guys would probably rather not try. Many like how you look I would think.

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    • Yeah I had one white guy ask for my number before and even so, he had a mutual friend do it but I told them to tell him to come ask for himself lol he did but I don't know why he was so scared in the first place :p

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    • Haha what? I'm not scary >.<

    • I mean you intimidated them.

  • There's this stereotype (which had some truth but is dead now) that black women are very VERY unlikely to interracially date, and only date black men.

    These white guys still think this stereotype is true... so they figure u are "low odds of success", so they approach other girls instead.

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  • Men online have the advantage of reading your profile, this probably gives them much more confidence and comfort to try to initiate something.

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  • Real life is different than virtual. It's easy to send emails or messages but not so easy to pop up and suddenly start talking to a nice girl.

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  • Dunno, maybe they are afraid you might think they are racist and that they like you just for your skin color.
    Also lordie lord you are beautiful :O

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  • How many black guys approach you?

    Why not pursue one of those online guys who're local?

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  • because to white guys you are forbidden fruit and we really dont know how to approach you, unlike black guys we dont hollar when we are excited

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  • they are too shy in person probably

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  • You guys suffered a loss, that you guys almost had, against Oregon this week. I'm an Ohioan and I always root for big 10. We suffered a loss against an unranked team, so I feel your pain

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What Girls Said 4

  • it is easier to do so behind the screen than in person (nerve whacking)

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  • They don't have any balls. And no, don't approach.

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  • I totally agree with you. And what ruffles my feathers is that they can get with aaaaaaaaaannyy Asian or hispanic girl they want, but with us, it's "hard" and "intimidating".. What? You think we're going to scream and fuss about fried chicken and watermelon and blame "da white man" for it? Hell no! All I do is smile and make conversation like people with common sense do.

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  • I used to have the same problem and I, from what you've said, was just like you being shy is a bummer lol but what I did was make sure I at least talk to the guy and have some kind of relationship hopefully you do as well haha if not you have some work to do. Also some guys are scared to approach some black girls cause they could be afraid of rejection, black girls not wanting to date black guys, or of course the stereotypes. Anyway unless you have some sort of relationship with white guys then I don't think you can get too far but that's just my opinion hopefully this informs and helps you a little bit :)

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