I have been seeing this guy for about 3 months. I have seen him a lot throughout the time we've known each other, but I have put off the sex. I am a virgin therefore I am extra careful. I am not a virgin for religious reasons I just want to be sure before I give myself to someone that that is the right person. A month into dating he told me he had genital herpes. He a couple pills to control outbreaks and hasn't had one in quite some time. At first I didn't know how to deal with it since I already liked him so much, but after a few days of thinking I decided it did not define him. He is accomplished, driven, and handsome. When I'm with him we tease each other like we've known each other for longer. We have sleep overs and he makes me breakfast. All the romantic stuff. Last night the topic I've been trying to put off came up. He wants to be with me and he told me what I already knew I would have to decided sooner or later: will I be willing to do it knowing the risks and develop the relationship further or not? I can't make this decision mainly because I don't know what I mean to him and if he has deep feelings for me. What are your thoughts?
Most Helpful Girl
That's a really tough situation. Honestly, the social stigma of herpes is much worse than the actual virus. However, it's obviously still not something anyone would want. I think you should just hold off on the sex for a while longer. Think about it some more, gauge your feelings for him and how well he treats you, if you're a good match then you can make that decision for yourself.
And I will say this, even condoms don't 100% protect against herpes because it spreads by skin to skin contact. The condom does not cover everywhere that the virus may be. It is also possible for the virus to spread even if he is not having an actual break-out. Viral shedding is still present on certain days of the year. I think the number one thing you should do is research the virus itself and possibly talk to a healthcare provider about other ways to prevent the spread of the virus besides just condoms.
This is a big decision. It's true that his virus does not define him and if you truly love him, then you may be willing to take this risk. It is, however, a big risk and you should think long and hard before making any decision when it comes to getting physical with him.0