How do you tell someone that you feel ignored after having sex?

I just met a guy and we've been talking for almost a month. I really like him a lot so far and he has great qualities that I like. We seem to get along great and we have good chemistry and communication so far. When we first met he told me that he gets busy during the week sometimes because he has two jobs and is trying to get into a new field but I understood that because I support people trying to do something with their life. He still made time to talk to me everyday. I asked him what he was looking for and he told me that he wants something real and a connection, not just physical things (sex). I told him that I'm not looking for just sex and I want something real too. I also told him that I don't like when people enter your life then leave once they get what they want. He told me that he wasn't going to do that and that's not what he wants. He said he wants me as a whole and wants me to be his woman. About a week ago things got really heated between us and we ended up having sex, the chemistry was just really strong and it just felt right so it happened. Before we had sex he would text me everyday but I noticed that after we had sex he's not texting me as much. I asked him if something was wrong and he told me that he just had a lot on his mind and he's been really busy. A few days later we had sex again but my mind is running wild. I still hear from him a little less than before. I have a fear that guys just want me for sex and I'm starting to get paranoid and afraid that he may just want me for sex. I told him that I like him the other day and he told me that he is very interested in me he just doesn't like to rush into relationships or rush anything. I'm starting to feel like I'm being ignored a little but I don't know if I'm over reacting and paranoid and should calm down or if I really am being ignored and should say something to him. Should I not say anything because he could really be busy so he texts me a little less? Or should I say something to him?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Maybe you need to take your foot off the gas. He might be feeling pressured. He seemed really interested, yet as for what you're saying, he could have played you. Not saying he's an ass or anything like that, but come one, guys will say stuff like "i want a meaningful relationship" sometimes just to move to the next point in your relationship. Again, not saying the guy's an ass... but if you do slow down, you'll give him the chance to prove himself too. After all, he did say he wanted something like what you want, right?

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    • So I should just pull back and not text him anymore? When you say slow down what do you suggest I do? ... And I would hope he didn't play me, that would really suck =/

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    • =/ and yea I am starting to fall for him =(

    • No girl, you don't need to go to those extremes, just slow down. Meaning, instead of repeating how much you enjoyed the last time you guys had sex, just tell him you would like to go out again or something like that.

What Girls Said 1

  • I had this problem last year. I hadn't dated a guy for 3 years and suddenly a guy was interested in me. We had sex but I wanted him to be my boyfriend and he felt pressured and I ended up pushing him away. So like Alexcab said, if he does want you to be his woman then he will try his best to make you his. Ease up on the texting if you're doing it too much. And just stick to the usual texts of 'Hey, how are you?' And stuff like that. If you both have sex a few more times and he still doesn't seem to be talking or making a true commitment then bring it up. But also make sure you guys go on dates that don't end in sex. Show him that's not what you're all about. Hope this helps :)

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    • So I shouldn't tell him that I feel ignored? I sent one text some hours ago asking if he was ok and if he has something on his mind but he hasn't responded yet. Do I just leave it at that last text and wait for him to reach out to me?

    • I shouldn't tell him that I feel ignored until a few I see that it doesn't change after a few more times?

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