Who do you think should pick up the check on a first date?

It's a big one here.. Who gets the check? Traditionally men get the check, but things are changing. What do you think? Is is a turn off if the woman picks up the check? Or a turn on?

  • The Girl
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  • The Guy
    38% (5)40% (4)39% (9)Vote
  • Whoever initiated the date
    8% (1)20% (2)13% (3)Vote
  • Split the check
    54% (7)40% (4)48% (11)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's a legal/financial obligation to the place that served two people with food that's being satisfied with the transfer of paper that society says holds value, or plastic that will transmit information of debiting one's assets or crediting one's liabilities in satisfaction of that expense obligation. Why would that be either a turn on or a turn off?

    What's going on here? Two people go to Place X. They both order food. Place X provides Man and Woman with food. So far, Man and Woman have been separately enriched by Place X. To put some numbers down, let's say Man has been enriched by $30 worth of food, and Woman has been enriched by $30 worth of food. If they just get up and leave, they basically just "stole" $30 each from Place X. If they don't pay, Place X could sue them both, separately, for $30 each.

    So, the "check" or "bill" comes, and that's really Place X's way of asking both of them, "Hey guys, we provided you both with $30 worth of food each, so now, you owe us $60 in total. It's customary that people who appear to be on a date, from our point-of-view as a provider of food, usually pay the bill as a whole. If you would like, we could go back and create two separate bills, or you guys can figure it out between the two of you and pay together. Either way, "we" don't care, we just want our $60."

    So, this is the point where (usually, although times are now changing) the Woman looks at the Man and starts to try to formulate some socially acceptable excuse or reason or justification for why he.. the Man.. should make her a "gift" of $30 right there and then, by assuming her $30 obligation to Place X.

    The classic justification is as follow: "You are the Man, and the Man 'should' be the one to as the Woman out on a date. Furthermore, the person who asks the other out on a date should be the one to pay for the date. Therefore, the Man 'should' pay. I promise, it's only by coincidence that the person advocating for this rule is benefiting."

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    • But that's no justification at all, because it doesn't explain why Men "should" do anything that Women don't have an equally forceful and corresponding social "obligation" to do as well. It's 2014, not 1652. There is no more "gentlemanly" thing to do to a poor little weak defenseless "lady" in need of a strong and generous "gentleman's" help and support and protection from this big bad world. They can both work. They both have the ability to tackle this world on their own. And because of that legal reality, the price of everything (e. g., milk, rent, food, etc.) reflects the assumption that BOTH men AND WOMEN are working. So, to expect or socially demand that men continue to disproportionately incur the expense of social association with effectively HALF the purchasing power, while women retain the bulk of their purchasing power is inherently unfair... not to mention... far from EQUAL

    • So, while there's nothing wrong with genuinely "voluntarily" (as opposed to simply caving in to social pressure) picking up the tab on behalf of a date, if a woman "expects" that a man "should" pick up the tab for her, or is "upset" or feels at all "negatively" towards him or "thinks less of him" if he did not pick up the tab for her... then that's not really a "sexual" turn-off, but it's just an "overall" turn-off about that woman (to me, as a man), because it indicates something more negative to me than just about the $40 to $400 that I'm putting down at that moment. It shows me that she feels "entitled," and doesn't see men as "people," but sees them as "unequal" and inherently "inferior" to women, who "deserve" special "privileges" at the expense of others... because others matter "less" than "her," and by the converse... "she" matters "more" than "others." No thank you, back to your parents sweet pea lol

What Guys Said 10

  • Always the guy.

    If a woman is willing to go out with me, I don't want her paying for her half of the meal. I want her to know that no matter what happens, if we decide to go further, that she can count on me providing for her, and being there for her.

    Splitting the check (especially asking her to pay for it all even if she asks! No way!) is so rude in my opinion. It shows a guy who only cares about "his" half of the problem/bill/whatever. She's paying attention to everything I do. It's in her best interests to determine what kind of guy I am. No... If she wants to be my woman, I want her to feel safe, secure, and provided for.

    If she demands to pay for either her half or the while bill, then she's not right for me.

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  • I REALLY want to pay on a first date; I feel pretty strongly about it.

    If the woman REALLY wanted to split it though, I'd respect that and oblige. I might be a bit traditional when it comes to paying during early stages of dating, but I'm also not stupid enough to miss out on a good girl by acting like a neanderthal and insisting that things go my way.

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  • some reason I like traditional but only on first dates. if its a second or third dinner date then we can split it.

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  • each one pays their own. fair and square. old-fashioned manners and gentlemanism can go to HELL. what means the guys must pay? are you STILL doing this in 21st century? Society has progressed, wake up!!!

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  • I'm old fashioned, I'll pick up the check for pretty much every date until we get serious. I do however appreciate if my date wants to pay, but I'd still pay the bill unless she was my gf.

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  • if it's a shot date we split if I want to see her again I'll pay

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  • I will do the check on the first date or if she wants to split it thats fine aswell. That is just me but everyone else can do their own thing.

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  • It should be either c or d.

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  • I think splitting it is better

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  • always the guy even if it's the 10 date

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What Girls Said 9

  • Split it.
    Guys generally like to feel like the provider and protector. The majority of men I know like to be the one i financial control in marriage and relationships. Which is ok. You like the girl, your protective instincts wake up and you want to please her. No problem there. As long as it's a genuine desire on the part of the man, I have no issue with receiving provision and protection from him.

    But on the first date I am nothing to him. I am just some random girl he is getting to know. If he pays for my meal, that means he is basically paying for the OPPORTUNITY to get to woo me. He is paying for my ass to simply appear in that restaurant and I find that to be wrong.
    If that man is paying for me without any incentive other than my presence, other than a shot of maybe getting with me, I feel I can not take that money by any means. I absolutely can not.

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  • When me and my bf go out we take turns paying for the check that way it's not one sided and it's evenly distributed. I feel like if you let the guy pay every time he might think you're only in the relationship because he pays for everything so I always say take turns to avoid fights and arguments.

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  • Whoever asked should pick up the check. But if the other person wants to split, the person who asked should allow them to split.

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  • The guy. I'm really old fashioned. I like when men take you out to fun places and dinner. After the first or second date you definitely can take turns.

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  • the guy on 1st official date

    downvotes coming hahah

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  • Split it, I'd feel uncomfortable with someone I didn't know well paying for me in any circumstance, especially if that circumstance was one where I was trying to make a good impression ie a date.

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  • I always pay my half

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  • I always try to split the check but my dates always insist on paying. Only ever paid for my own meal once on a date (almost had to pay for his too, his card was declined)

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    • I should say a substantial portion of guys I date are over 30, so they're a bit more traditional that way

  • I feel kinda pressured/obliged to give the guy something in return (cough sex cough) if he pays for the date. A few dates on it's ok for him to do it but I'd be uncomfortable if it were the first date and he paid for the meal.

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